Friend/acquaintance email/text response time

[Anonymous]

I know people are busy. I get it. So am I. But it takes my kids' classmates' parents FOREVER to respond to a simple e-mail or text regarding anything from school volunteering to kids' playdates, etc. I don't understand.

How long is reasonable?

For instance, a parent and I have been trying to set up a playdate for our kids and she'll write a message asking about a certain date, I'll respond a few minutes later that the date is good and propose a time. Then she doesn't respond until the next day??! just freakin respond. She is a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

I think responding within the next twenty-four hours is reasonable.

If asking a question as you did OP, I would think a proper response within 24 HRS is reasonable regardless if the other person worked or not.

[Anonymous]

Does she work and have multiple kids. Give the woman (me?) a break!

[Anonymous]

A response the next day for non-immediate plans is fine.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she doesn’t check her phone while at work.

[Anonymous]

I don’t respond to emails.

[Anonymous]

I actually put my phone down and walk away from it for chunks of time.

[Anonymous]

+1 that within 24 hours is totally ok unless you are talking about something that is happening immediately or is urgent. People sometimes need to check with a spouse to sort a weekend schedule, for instance.

Also sometimes there's this dance with the timing of texts. I have learned not to assume that people put their phone's on silent at night, so I try to avoid sending texts after 9pm or before 8am unless it's a close friend where I know I won't be bothering them. Additionally, I sometimes go to bed incredibly early and might not see a text at 8:15pm, and then in the morning I might see it at 5am but don't like sending texts that early so I'll wait, and I might not remember to get back to them until 10am depending on my morning.

Also anyone with small kids I am never phased when it takes them a while to reply because we've all had this days/nights where you are dealing with a sick kid, or trying to juggle both kids while your spouse is traveling for work, or volunteered to help at the school that day, and you barely have time to think much less check or messages and process a suggested meet up for a playdate.

The only texts I reply to in close to real time are the ones in the WhatsApp group with my husband and our four closest friends. And even that I might go radio silent in if I'm just really slammed at work or worn out from parenting stuff. I put my own well being first, so there are lots of times where I just plug my phone into the charger and walk away for anywhere from an hour to four hours to overnight, just to give myself a break. Zero guilt. It's good for me.

[Anonymous]

The next day isn't forever. You're dramatic. Stay-at-home mom doesn't mean she needs to reply asap. Maybe she doesn't want to get together with you, but then she feels bad because her kid likes your kid, so she's like, wtf? I guess I'll text Lars back.

[Anonymous]

What? Next day is totally fine. I found it much harder to respond to emails and texts as a SAHM. Always interrupted and more frazzled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? Next day is totally fine. I found it much harder to respond to emails and texts as a SAHM. Always interrupted and more frazzled.

Same. It’s way easier now when I’m on my computer or phone all day anyway, so replying to a personal message takes no effort. When I was a SAHM I could go hours with even glancing at my phone because I was pushing a stroller, playing with my kids, setting up a tent in the backyard, making dinner, giving a bath, rocking a baby to sleep, etc. Being a SAHM is much more active than most jobs.

[Anonymous]

Wow, you are demanding. Within 24 hours is fine. Not everyone lives on their phone.

[Anonymous]

She is a SAHM.

The nerves of her not to be at your beck & call!

Dang! We have this crazy need for everything to be done immediately😡

She responded within 24 hours; when it was convenient for her, not you🤪

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually put my phone down and walk away from it for chunks of time.

I even leave it in rooms I’m not in. So weird, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually put my phone down and walk away from it for chunks of time.

I even leave it in rooms I’m not in. So weird, right?

Agreed. I leave my phone in my purse when I am at home, so I frequently go 4-8 hours without even looking at my phone.