Feeling lost - mom may be getting kicked out of facility/home

[Anonymous]

My mom just turned 80. Her health is OK but not great, she has had multiple falls in the last year, I don’t anticipate things getting easier for her. She is also a very difficult person who has burned most bridges in her life and is not getting easier with age. She moved herself into a very nice continuum-of-care type facility last year after being on the waitlist for five years. She has two old dogs who are absolutely terrible and completely untrained that they let her bring, but the dogs have been such a problem that it seems she may be about to receive an ultimatum that she either has to move out or get rid of the dogs. Getting rid of the dogs is the obvious answer, but she refuses, they are her most successful relationship right now. I can’t imagine her moving back into a situation where she’s independent she just doesn’t physically seem able to do that and certainly moving her out of her current home would be a nightmare. Neither my sister or I will take her dogs, they are that horrible. I don’t really have a question here just wondering if anybody has dealt with a situation like this and how it played out. My mom and I are not close, but I don’t want her to be homeless either. It feels like such a sad situation and I feel lost on what to do if anything.

[Anonymous]

I know the dogs are old but could a trainer help? Goodluck!

[Anonymous]

Agree with a trainer.

[Anonymous]

OP - I will try that approach, thank you

[Anonymous]

Slip some drugs in the dog food to permanently incapacitate the dogs.

- Evil but practical

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Slip some drugs in the dog food to permanently incapacitate the dogs.

- Evil but practical

OP - oh you can’t imagine how much I’d love to help them shuffle off!

[Anonymous]

Regime the dogs. Maybe the new owners will allow you to take them to visit every once in awhile?

[Anonymous]

We almost adopted a bat shit crazy dog. We did a trial and this dog had major issues that were not disclosed. A vet recommended doggy prozac and before we could even do a trial, it bit our animal loving daughter. (She was the one who chose our disheveled little guy). We ended our trial adoption and the foster took the dog in instead. We never got to see if prozac was the solution, but perhaps that might help your mom's dogs.

I would also see if you can hire a case manager to help negotiate with the facility. Beware though. Some of these places are just schemes to join the age-in-place money train. They contract with places and delude the parent into thinking it's best and YOU end up dealing with all the no-shows, etc as they keep telling you they have to respect your mom's wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regime the dogs. Maybe the new owners will allow you to take them to visit every once in awhile?

I so wish we could. My sister, who is a vet, says absolutely not rehomable. They poop and pee everywhere , bite, bark non-stop, jump on everyone. They would have to be euthanized.

[Anonymous]

Take the dogs, and then euthanize them. Tell her the escaped and bit someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the dogs, and then euthanize them. Tell her the escaped and bit someone.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the dogs, and then euthanize them. Tell her the escaped and bit someone.

I want to add that I am fully a dog lover. Keep them as long as you can - set up a room in your house with a hard floor (or put down a roll of linoleum), two crates and a door. Beds and treats. Do the best you can. Hear me when I tell you that the inconvenience is NOTHING compared to what will happen if you have to start over placing your mom. And then you would still have the dogs to deal with anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I want to add that I am fully a dog lover. Keep them as long as you can - set up a room in your house with a hard floor (or put down a roll of linoleum), two crates and a door. Beds and treats. Do the best you can. Hear me when I tell you that the inconvenience is NOTHING compared to what will happen if you have to start over placing your mom. And then you would still have the dogs to deal with anyway.

This sounds like a workable solution. Or build a kennel for them in your backyard that can be kept clean by hosing down. It's mean to stick them in a kennel but better than the other options. How old are they and how much time do they have left?

[Anonymous]

Take the dogs. Drop them off at a no kill shelter.

[Anonymous]

The dogs are probably miserable and your mom probably treats them miserable and you just don't realize it bc she doesn't when you aren't around.

I love animals but in this situation I agree with others. Ask the doctor about fast acting anti- anxiety meds for a short duration for your mom to reduce her over reaction to the situation.