What was it like to have a 3rd later in life?

[Anonymous]

Two kids 9 and 6. The baby fever has been strong lately, but starting over also feels exhausting, but I know how quickly those toddler years fly. Is this a terrible idea? I know no one is going to say that regret it, but was it harder than you imagined?

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

All my friends who have done this swear they don't regret it but they still seem to complain a lot about not being able to do X, y and Z because of the youngest. Or they do family activities with the older kids and leave the younger one home with a sitter because it is really hard to find something everyone can do.

I have 2 kids and while we considered a third, I have never once regretted not having a third. Every time a friend had a third that was 5+ yr younger than their youngest I was more happy than ever that we didn't have another kid.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It’s harder because I dont have as much energy. But it works. I have more money now for help.

[Anonymous]

I loved our gap. My older 2 are 2 years apart. It was such a blur. I always felt I was trying to just survive.

I am fully able to enjoy my youngest. I got to hang out with her when the older kids were in elementary. I cherish these years.

We are also much higher income and I don’t work anymore.

[Anonymous]

Im the youngest of three. My sisters were six and eight when I was born. I did not like that dyanmic.

I'd stop while you are ahead. Maybe you will get grandkids one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im the youngest of three. My sisters were six and eight when I was born. I did not like that dyanmic.

I'd stop while you are ahead. Maybe you will get grandkids one day.

By your own logic, you wouldn't exist right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im the youngest of three. My sisters were six and eight when I was born. I did not like that dyanmic.

I'd stop while you are ahead. Maybe you will get grandkids one day.

By your own logic, you wouldn't exist right now.

NP here. LOL. I will just say that it's clear among my two siblings and myself that the youngest by a six year age gap has turned out to be by far the most charming, successful, well-liked etc etc. My parents were pretty happy they opted for a third!

[Anonymous]

If you really want a 3rd, then I would go for it. Really think things through. I think most of us get baby fever as our kids get older and we realize we have limited time left fertility wise. Not sure most of us truly want another child, or it’s more the sadness of closing a chapter in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

33

[Anonymous]

There is rarely NOT a different dynamic between the siblings when there is this big of an age gap. The parent might not care, but it definitely is a breeding ground for resentment. Youngest child almost always gets more of everything than the older two got. Attention, opportunities, quality of life.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

33

Later in life is a bit dramatic here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is rarely NOT a different dynamic between the siblings when there is this big of an age gap. The parent might not care, but it definitely is a breeding ground for resentment. Youngest child almost always gets more of everything than the older two got. Attention, opportunities, quality of life.....

I agree with this, especially since being around a sweet elementary schoolers who still worships you is just more enjoyable than being around two emotionally taxing and unpleasant teenagers. If you’re going to have a third, please continue to focus on being the best parent you can be to your older kids. I think having an elementary schooler and a teenager is a juggling act and they’re only three years apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is rarely NOT a different dynamic between the siblings when there is this big of an age gap. The parent might not care, but it definitely is a breeding ground for resentment. Youngest child almost always gets more of everything than the older two got. Attention, opportunities, quality of life.....

I agree with this, especially since being around a sweet elementary schoolers who still worships you is just more enjoyable than being around two emotionally taxing and unpleasant teenagers. If you’re going to have a third, please continue to focus on being the best parent you can be to your older kids. I think having an elementary schooler and a teenager is a juggling act and they’re only three years apart.

I have an unpleasant teen, and elementary tween and a 5yo. Yes, the youngest definitely gets the most attention but the older kids like to have their space. They seem more interested in their friends than us. We also focus on their sports and hobbies WAY more than the young one. 5yo has been dragged to sports practices and games her entire life. The older ones aren’t exactly neglected. Dh and I often tag team so one parent takes the little one and the other parent takes the older 2.

We divided and conquered when we only had 2 as well. One parent would stay home with baby or napping toddler while older kid went out with the other parent. It really isn’t all that different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

33

Later in life is a bit dramatic here.

+1. Lol

I am 38. And my two are the same age as OP's. I am going forward with it, advanced maternal age and all.