Frustrated

[Anonymous]

We live in an NYC apartment. Our cleaner comes every Thursday morning at the exact same time for 7 years. She likes to start with our bedroom, then move around to the apartment, cleaning the kitchen last. In the past 18 months, DH is usually not ready to exit the bedroom until 9:30 or 10 (he has adjusted his schedule in COVID and takes no meetings before 10 AM). The cleaner does adjust without a bat of the eye, though my guess is that she would rather follow her preferred routine.

Today we had painters coming @ 9 AM for our BR. Knowing how DH is with the cleaner, I reminded DH that they were coming @ 8:30 and he said he knew. The super and painter knocked at 8:55 and, of course, DH was still in the shower. They said they couldn't wait and were off to another apartment. Of course they didn't come back in 90 minutes as they indicated. I couldn't leave to go food shopping and finish getting items for DH's BD tomorrow. It's now after 3 PM and they clearly have a few more hours of work.

DH said he doesn't understand why they didn't wait as he was done by 9:15 AM. He has a whole team of people working for him who have to wait around for him. A NYC super isn't the same! I am so pissed.

[Anonymous]

Divorce him.

And have an affair with the building super - he could be your soul mate.

[Anonymous]

That's some real first world problems right there. Meanwhile, in another world, people have been trapped in underground tunnels, starving, sick, injured, terrified and haven't seen the sun in two months while their shelter is being bombed from above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him.

And have an affair with the building super - he could be your soul mate.

LOL, not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's some real first world problems right there. Meanwhile, in another world, people have been trapped in underground tunnels, starving, sick, injured, terrified and haven't seen the sun in two months while their shelter is being bombed from above.

Oh you're obnoxious!

Just because someone somewhere in the world has it worse doesn't mean that OP can't be irritated. No one said it's a matter of life and death, but I'd be pissed if my husband did this too.

Signed,

A war survivor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in an NYC apartment. Our cleaner comes every Thursday morning at the exact same time for 7 years. She likes to start with our bedroom, then move around to the apartment, cleaning the kitchen last. In the past 18 months, DH is usually not ready to exit the bedroom until 9:30 or 10 (he has adjusted his schedule in COVID and takes no meetings before 10 AM). The cleaner does adjust without a bat of the eye, though my guess is that she would rather follow her preferred routine.

Today we had painters coming @ 9 AM for our BR. Knowing how DH is with the cleaner, I reminded DH that they were coming @ 8:30 and he said he knew. The super and painter knocked at 8:55 and, of course, DH was still in the shower. They said they couldn't wait and were off to another apartment. Of course they didn't come back in 90 minutes as they indicated. I couldn't leave to go food shopping and finish getting items for DH's BD tomorrow. It's now after 3 PM and they clearly have a few more hours of work.

DH said he doesn't understand why they didn't wait as he was done by 9:15 AM. He has a whole team of people working for him who have to wait around for him. A NYC super isn't the same! I am so pissed.

"Because you made the painter's late, I wasn't able to go get what I wanted for your birthday, or to go food shopping. Here's the list of things you need to pick up at the store this evening."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's some real first world problems right there. Meanwhile, in another world, people have been trapped in underground tunnels, starving, sick, injured, terrified and haven't seen the sun in two months while their shelter is being bombed from above.

So...I go to the politics forum when I want to read about and share views on this stuff as well as continue to contribute and support a friend with family there. When it comes to relationships, I read this forum and occasionally post. Nowhere did it say all posts must be in the context of crisis. Having grown up working class, I am intimately familiar with first world problems. That doesn't change that my DH has started to confuse workplace conduct with home conduct. So I came here to vent as well as to see if others have had similar challenges with spouses and partners.

I can make calls for Roe and post here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in an NYC apartment. Our cleaner comes every Thursday morning at the exact same time for 7 years. She likes to start with our bedroom, then move around to the apartment, cleaning the kitchen last. In the past 18 months, DH is usually not ready to exit the bedroom until 9:30 or 10 (he has adjusted his schedule in COVID and takes no meetings before 10 AM). The cleaner does adjust without a bat of the eye, though my guess is that she would rather follow her preferred routine.

Today we had painters coming @ 9 AM for our BR. Knowing how DH is with the cleaner, I reminded DH that they were coming @ 8:30 and he said he knew. The super and painter knocked at 8:55 and, of course, DH was still in the shower. They said they couldn't wait and were off to another apartment. Of course they didn't come back in 90 minutes as they indicated. I couldn't leave to go food shopping and finish getting items for DH's BD tomorrow. It's now after 3 PM and they clearly have a few more hours of work.

DH said he doesn't understand why they didn't wait as he was done by 9:15 AM. He has a whole team of people working for him who have to wait around for him. A NYC super isn't the same! I am so pissed.

"Because you made the painter's late, I wasn't able to go get what I wanted for your birthday, or to go food shopping. Here's the list of things you need to pick up at the store this evening."

I did tell DH that we will have to do take out. I think the painters may be done in the next hour so I can run out and get some items for the BD, but cannot cook for tonight as we had discussed.

I generally have no problem being that direct, but given that he had arranged a nice mother's day and tomorrow is his BD, I am not so inclined to do so.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you leave while the painters are there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's some real first world problems right there. Meanwhile, in another world, people have been trapped in underground tunnels, starving, sick, injured, terrified and haven't seen the sun in two months while their shelter is being bombed from above.

Oh you're obnoxious!

Just because someone somewhere in the world has it worse doesn't mean that OP can't be irritated. No one said it's a matter of life and death, but I'd be pissed if my husband did this too.

Signed,

A war survivor

Still don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you leave while the painters are there?

The super has never used them before and he strongly suggested I stay in the apartment. If it were building staff, I wouldn't hesitate to leave, but I just hear about too many situations to do so in good conscience.

[Anonymous]

I agree w/you OP..
I would be so frustrated.

At your husband.

[Anonymous]

For him to be surprised that the painters + the super did not sit around and wait for him to finish his shower is pure entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Team OP. That would piss me off too. Your husband is being passive aggressive. Not an attractive trait.

[Anonymous]

If he’s going to be an a**hole about this, why are you worried about his bday gift? Choices have consequences and he made his choice.