sex and college

[Anonymous]

If your DC hasn't been sexually active yet and are going off to college in fall, what advice are you planning to give to them (gender agnostic or gender specific ok too)

Is there a lot of pressure to have sex soon in college?

[Anonymous]

use condoms and go on the pill - both if you are a woman.

For men, get consent, and use the consent app if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:use condoms and go on the pill - both if you are a woman.

For men, get consent, and use the consent app if necessary.

We told my oldest son to use a condom every time and to make sure that he had enthusiastic consent. It's not enough that their partner doesn't say "no." They should make sure their partner is saying "yes." If someone is passed out, then don' have sex with them If someone is stumbling drunk, don't have sex with them.

Then we found out that he 1) bi and 2) using Grindr and had to have a whole other conversation about being safe.

[Anonymous]

Watch Animal House and Porkys. It’s just like that. Every day.

[Anonymous]

It's scary as a parent (we have a DS and a DD). Talk to your kids about how they need to watch themselves during parties. We've heard several stories from their friends about being taken advantage of when intoxicated (seems pretty common).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:use condoms and go on the pill - both if you are a woman.

For men, get consent, and use the consent app if necessary.

We told my oldest son to use a condom every time and to make sure that he had enthusiastic consent. It's not enough that their partner doesn't say "no." They should make sure their partner is saying "yes." If someone is passed out, then don' have sex with them If someone is stumbling drunk, don't have sex with them.

Then we found out that he 1) bi and 2) using Grindr and had to have a whole other conversation about being safe.

What did that conversation entail?

[Anonymous]

I made sure my daughter (who has ever had a date or kiss) could talk thru the process for lining up birth control (from school, and from home). I made sure she understood there is a lead time required. That alcohol clouds judgement. That young men can misinterpret a young woman’s actions/dress. (The latter has been demonstrated in some disturbing studies.)

I also got her a few books that cover situations that could come up in college (The Her Campus Guide to College Life and The Naked Roommate). Figuring she could find answers there to things that she did not want to ask me.

[Anonymous]

If they're smart enough and old enough to get into college they don't need any sex talk from their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they're smart enough and old enough to get into college they don't need any sex talk from their parents.

LOL, you just amped things up...you must be new here, if not you knew exactly what you were doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they're smart enough and old enough to get into college they don't need any sex talk from their parents.

LOL, you just amped things up...you must be new here, if not you knew exactly what you were doing.

The latter, I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

I'll tell them if they are ever sexually assaulted, skip the campus police and go to the real police. They have less incentive to sweep it under the rug.

Then if they are ever accused, ask for a lawyer and keep their mouth shut until then.

[Anonymous]

We had Dr. Ruth. She really went there on physical aspects of sex. Is there anyone like that now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your DC hasn't been sexually active yet and are going off to college in fall, what advice are you planning to give to them (gender agnostic or gender specific ok too)

Is there a lot of pressure to have sex soon in college?

Gender neutral advise is to advise them to use their best judgment and not get pressured into doing anything they don’t want to do not pressure anyone else into anything. Consent matters and can be retracted anytime. Gender specific advice is for a girl to go on birth control and for a boy to use condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they're smart enough and old enough to get into college they don't need any sex talk from their parents.

True and they are 18 so HIPPA privacy.

[Anonymous]

Make sure they have a high bar for consent, a clear understanding of contraception and STDs, and counter any weird notions they have about “virginity.”