Chasing childhood

[Anonymous]

Anyone watch this film?
https://watch.showandtell.film/watch/bunker-hill-042422?fbclid=IwAR2bckSE7bPDNEEzp-txfeGiGn5p3PmTiTFUjBp9Q4MCeZ5UAhX8PO9tdWM
Thoughts?

I want my kid to have free play but film made it seem so hard nowadays. My child is just a baby right now but wondering if this is what we have to look forward to or if it’s possible to find communities where things are different.

[Anonymous]

I agree with your sentiment. You have to instill these values in your child. In other areas of the US, there are different but equally stressful pressures.

[Anonymous]

We are in a community (centered around a church) in the DC area that is different.

[Anonymous]

^ the above post to say, it is possible to find communities that intentionally raise their children differently. And there's always self-doubt when you act differently than the culture at large.

[Anonymous]

I don't click on random links....can you give a synopsis Op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't click on random links....can you give a synopsis Op?

Here is the official synopsis:

Chasing Childhood is a feature length documentary that explores a phenomenon affecting kids from a broad range of socioeconomic backgrounds. Free play and independence have all but disappeared, supplanted by relentless perfectionism and record high anxiety and depression. What’s lost goes well beyond our idyllic conceptions of childhood past. When kids don’t play unsupervised by adults, they don’t gain critical life skills: grit, independence, and resourcefulness. Though they may appear more accomplished on paper, by the time they get to college they are often falling apart, lacking the emotional tools to navigate young adulthood. The film explores how we got here and how we might empower our kids. Potential solutions are offered by the leaders of this movement, including former Stanford Dean and author of How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims, biological psychologist Peter Gray and others.

Basically it talked about how structured kids time is with no time for free play and tremendous pressures to be successful for college. Also about how laws may restrict freedom parents can give their kids even when parents judge kid capable of being more independent like taking the subway, etc. the challenges of if you want your kid to have free play but everyone else has their kids in structured activities there are literally no kids available to play with. Along with discussing why play is important for kids.

[Anonymous]

This feels so dated to me. Free play and independence are definitely stressed in the pre elementary school level and most parents are aware with older kids.

However “free play” isn’t playing video games! And sports will always be organized and valuable.

[Anonymous]

There will always be extremes in parenting styles - free ranging kids verse highly structured/regimented.

I don't there's a 1-size fits all nor a magical X number of hours of free play given kids' different temperaments, SN issues, parent work schedules (or lack thereof), (dys-)functional family life, and Culture (especially in thos country where there are a lot of cultures).
And for many, parents tend to raise their kids the way they were raised.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'm concerned about this as well. This site has a lot of good info - https://www.freerangekids.com.

[Anonymous]

We live in a DC area neighborhood where there are plenty of kids running around doing “free play.” Right now I do go out with my daughter because she’s only 5, but I see plenty of older kids out unsupervised.

[Anonymous]

All the elementary school aged kids we know who don’t do organized sports stat home and play video games. That is NOT “free play”.

I also find this subject tiresome. We don’t live in the same world we did when my mother was a kid and summers and after-school involved going outside and playing in the creek, sledding, building tree forts, etc. Most of us live in over-developed suburbs or cities where free range is simply dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I’m tired of this, too. My kids “free play” plenty in the neighborhood but also play sports and take piano lessons. So do the vast majority of kids we know.

That said, we live in a small, safe, and affluent town with lots of retired and SAHPs. Not everyone has this privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the elementary school aged kids we know who don’t do organized sports stat home and play video games. That is NOT “free play”.

I also find this subject tiresome. We don’t live in the same world we did when my mother was a kid and summers and after-school involved going outside and playing in the creek, sledding, building tree forts, etc. Most of us live in over-developed suburbs or cities where free range is simply dangerous.

This. My parents talk about their childhoods and those days are simply gone. We go to a gorgeous park near our home in the city where homeless, mentally I’ll people camp. Damn straight I’m not letting my 8 year old “range free”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the elementary school aged kids we know who don’t do organized sports stat home and play video games. That is NOT “free play”.

I also find this subject tiresome. We don’t live in the same world we did when my mother was a kid and summers and after-school involved going outside and playing in the creek, sledding, building tree forts, etc. Most of us live in over-developed suburbs or cities where free range is simply dangerous.

Why is it unsafe? I'm totally with you that some things have shifted and that's ok. But I've also read that people's perception of "safety" now is often not linked to reality very well and in fact things have gotten much much safer since our parent's time, but perception of safety has shifted for a lot of reasons I'm sure but partly because we have access to SO much media. I guess I'm just surprised you say the suburbs where most live are simply dangerous. We live in Arlington and kids definitely have a lot of free range to go around our neighborhoods (maybe not as early as they used to before, but starting in maybe 3rd grade) and it seems perfectly safe in the large scheme of things. My in-laws live in Burke and the kids DEFINITELY roam free around the neighborhood. All seems safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the elementary school aged kids we know who don’t do organized sports stat home and play video games. That is NOT “free play”.

I also find this subject tiresome. We don’t live in the same world we did when my mother was a kid and summers and after-school involved going outside and playing in the creek, sledding, building tree forts, etc. Most of us live in over-developed suburbs or cities where free range is simply dangerous.

Why is it unsafe? I'm totally with you that some things have shifted and that's ok. But I've also read that people's perception of "safety" now is often not linked to reality very well and in fact things have gotten much much safer since our parent's time, but perception of safety has shifted for a lot of reasons I'm sure but partly because we have access to SO much media. I guess I'm just surprised you say the suburbs where most live are simply dangerous. We live in Arlington and kids definitely have a lot of free range to go around our neighborhoods (maybe not as early as they used to before, but starting in maybe 3rd grade) and it seems perfectly safe in the large scheme of things. My in-laws live in Burke and the kids DEFINITELY roam free around the neighborhood. All seems safe.

Note this is obviously a privilege, just addressing that you say the suburbs most live in are unsafe and I'm not sure I understand that