First time PK3 parent

[Anonymous]

Hi there- long time reader first time poster.

Our son is heading to PK3 in the fall. We are so excited but also nervous about so many things. This post is meant to vent/ask for any insight. Please curb any judgment, or try your best at least.

How did you feel about PK3? My anxiety is about more kids, not knowing how my son will act (will he be a bully? be picked on?), will he miss is daycare friends or make new ones so quickly?

I guess we are looking for any first time PK3 experiences. I know each kid is different. This is a new experience for him and us..

Would love to hear any first time PK3 parents and how things went.

[Anonymous]

It's an adjustment, sometimes they cry, sometimes they miss their old friends, yes. But they usually get over it, mostly, in a month or so. What they get in PK3 is usually pretty good compared to daycare.

The best thing you can do for your child is to manage your own anxiety. Show your child that you have confidence in their ability to be brave and overcome life's challenges. Don't put your anxiety into their head, there's really no need to bring it up with your child until later in the summer. Highlight the positive things about school and bring them to any open house or class playdate type event so that they can get used to it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you asked for no judgment but you seem pretty anxious yourself. Your son will likely be just fine. Most of the preschool in this city is perfectly fine. Could there be behaviors in his class or could he behave badly himself, sure. These things happen and you need to learn to take them in stride, not worry about them 6 months in advance. They can be addressed when they occur.

Six months from now your son will seem much older and more capable than he is now.

[Anonymous]

All I would say is that if your daycare currently offers you a daily sheet on activities in which your child engaged, be prepared to have much less info from PK3. That's the nature of the beast. It was jarring to me at first.

[Anonymous]

Most kids adjust quite quickly but the teachers have seen all types so just let them do their thing. They will make friends quickly and probably forget their daycare friends. That's normal. One piece of advice is to know that you are sending your kid to school - they are no longer in daycare. This is the next step in their independence. I used to get a sheet from my daycare detailing how many times my 3 year old went to the bathroom. You will not have this amount of visibility into their day anymore and that is a good thing. I've seen some parents have a harder time with the transition than their kids. Deep breaths - it will be fine.

[Anonymous]

When does/did your child turn 3. It felt like a big adjustment for my 3 year old who turned 3 in august and he started crying every day at drop off in Dec/Jan. Basically he was ok though and learned a lot and adjusted. I think my dd that has already turned 3 in March will be so much more ready.

[Anonymous]

My kids were/are in full time daycare, so even though they didn’t have to get used to being away from home/parents/nanny, it was still a change. My older kid has always struggled with transitions, so I went all out on prep.

We got a couple of books on preschool starting late spring/early summer, and we talked about how she’d be going to preschool instead of daycare in a few months. Not everyday, but once we introduced the idea it came up every so often. The books were really more for kids who haven’t been in a childcare setting before, but they were still helpful because we were able to talk about things that were the same as what she was used to in daycare. “Look, in this preschool they have a hook and a cubby for their things. You have that at daycare. I wonder if your new preschool will have a hook or a cubby or both? Or something else? But they will definitely have a place to keep your things.” We had a lot of conversations about what will be similar and what will be different.

We walked by the school a lot so she got used to seeing the building and knew where she would go.

The week before there was an open house and she got to meet her teacher. I asked her before if she had any questions and we asked the teacher together.

At the open house I took pictures of the classroom, and also random stuff like the bathroom and the stack of cots for nap time, also the playground and the entrance door, and had those printed out and in a little cheap album for her to flip through. She loved it and looked at it a lot before school started.

It was fine. The first month or 2 was still hard at home but she loved school and was never upset at drop off or anything. Some kids were. It’s fine. Even the kids who cried every morning didn’t cry every morning all year.

My kid is very social and makes friends easily. That’s how she was in daycare and at the playground, so that’s how she was in preschool (and stil is). Your concerns about how your kid will be around other kids makes me think your kid doesn’t have much time with other kids or you don’t see your kid around other kids very much. I think that’s a good thing to try to do in the coming months - how your kid is with others generally will likely carry into preK.

My kid is 6 now and still talks about her best friend from daycare who she misses. We haven’t seen that girl in 3 years (play dates fell through and we stopped trying). But she has made new friends easily.

My younger kid starts preK this fall and we’ve been prepping for a while because he started asking months ago when he’ll go to school with his sister instead of daycare. But we’ll probably take a softer version of the same approach to preparing him. He has an easier time with transition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I would say is that if your daycare currently offers you a daily sheet on activities in which your child engaged, be prepared to have much less info from PK3. That's the nature of the beast. It was jarring to me at first.

This is so true! Much less information/communication. And also, no one wipes their bottom for them! Daily baths were critical until Dd learned to wipe herself well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I would say is that if your daycare currently offers you a daily sheet on activities in which your child engaged, be prepared to have much less info from PK3. That's the nature of the beast. It was jarring to me at first.

This. You have way less info, way less control, way less customization. You aren't a paying client of a service the way you are at a daycare. Unless there's a serious problem and you specifically ask them, nobody's going to write down how much he ate, how long he napped, and if he pooped. It seems like you need to mentally prepare yourself for that. It's a big adjustment for some parents.

PK3 is when kids grow up a little bit and start learning to cope with the ups and downs of life. Yes, he may have a squabble with a classmate. Yes it's possible he could spill his milk and cry. It's fine for those things to happen and for him to learn from them.

I was a little nervous about my PK3 being in a multi-age before-care, but there were only about 10 kids there total and the older kids were so sweet to her. And she really, really thrived on the challenges and enrichment that preschool presents. Even a rather sketchy DCPS was way better than our typical YMCA office daycare-- really qualified teachers, specials, visiting performers, the whole deal. Occasions when she got to visit the Kindergarten classes for whatever special thing (for example to see the pet caterpillars becoming butterflies) was a huge huge deal to her. So yes it is an adjustment and can be difficult, but it's so worth it. We all have to grow up eventually!

[Anonymous]

If your child is one that has a hard time at drop off, talk to the teacher(s) before getting too worried. My kid always cried when I left, but my route out of the school went right by the classroom window as I left. It was clear that in the 2 minutes it took me to walk around the corner, my kid had already settled completely and was happily playing.

If you can, print off a picture of you and your child for them to bring to school to them. My older child's teacher asked each kid to bring in a picture of their special grownups and then laminated the pictures so the kids could hold them whenever they wanted. It was really helpful for my kid.

[Anonymous]

OP here: he is currently the oldest in his daycare (started at 6 months old. now he is the oldest).

Turns 3 in May.

All these replies have been exactly what I was looking for. YES I am anxious, too!

I did not even think about the communication aspect. He is at an at home daycare now which is phenomenal. I have to imagine that is where most of the shock will come from.

[Anonymous]

As someone mentioned above, my shock was at how much BETTER the DCPS was then the daycare. We actually got more communication from DCPS than from daycare, but our daycare was an outlier in that regard. The activities, thoughtful centers, it was all great. There's a Llama, llama misses mama book that we read a lot to prep.

[Anonymous]

What’s the playground situation at the new school? Now that it’s staying lighter out later and the weather is nicer, I would start dropping by on Fridays pre-dinner so that both of you can get acquainted with other families. Some may have younger siblings starting pre-k 3 in the fall too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the playground situation at the new school? Now that it’s staying lighter out later and the weather is nicer, I would start dropping by on Fridays pre-dinner so that both of you can get acquainted with other families. Some may have younger siblings starting pre-k 3 in the fall too.

Great advice. I know it's a little hard to wrap your head around the idea of your little tot going to an elementary school with big tall 5th graders, but I promise once you get used to it, it's totally fine.

[Anonymous]

It is likely to be at times a rough transition, but that is 100 percent normal and also 100 percent ok. The intense PreK experience DC kids get from going to public or charter PreK3 really gives them a strong preparation for Kindergarten and grade school, both academically and socio-emotionally. Remember all the things you worried about when they were babies? You probably barely think about them now. Remember that for what’s ahead.