Gay Teachers – thinking about quitting?

[Anonymous]

I'm a gay middle school drama teacher (cliche I know) and the thing that is pushing me out of the field isn't the pandemic or the kids' post-quarantine behavioral problems/mental health crisis, but the idea that I might get accused of "grooming" a student.

The attacks on teachers across the board are so demoralizing but the worsening levels of overt homophobia and transphobia on the right are just so terrifying and exhausting. I love my students. I love teaching. I really don't know if I can stick it out if this is the new normal.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry 😢 you feel this way, as 🎭 Drama is a space that many times embraces kids that are outliers, regardless of sexual identity ; Id hate to see your school lose that outlet. I hope that you find tools, resources, and routines that allow a buffer zone / protection from accusations, as m straight teachers are also prone to false accusations.

A Few ideas:

- Require all communications occur through school approved apps (no texting to personal numbers or g-chatting)

- Share the workload/ Recruit another teacher to always be present for rehearsals.

- Have rehearsals in open spaces

- Choose plays that do not require 1 on 1 coaching.

[Anonymous]

Are you a teacher in the DMV or somewhere else?
Sorry to hear about this. The internet will make you crazy and fearing the worst. The reality is that 99% of people are decent, whether they are liberal or conservative, and aren’t looking to make trouble, especially if you are a good old fashioned gay drama teacher and not some weirdo out there actually pushing some fringe ideologies.

[Anonymous]

My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

[Anonymous]

do your job and you have nothing to worry about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do your job and you have nothing to worry about

this is like telling a black person not to speed or commit crime and they won’t have any issues. It’s not that simple. OP if you like your job keep doing what you’re doing. Just don’t ever put yourself in any situation that could be misconstrued by someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:do your job and you have nothing to worry about

this is like telling a black person not to speed or commit crime and they won’t have any issues. It’s not that simple. OP if you like your job keep doing what you’re doing. Just don’t ever put yourself in any situation that could be misconstrued by someone else.

So you basically said the same thing as the poster you criticized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hear you. My 16 yo son is gay and talks about becoming a teacher. I don’t want to discourage him—not just because I want him to do what he loves but also because the world needs good teachers, and I think he’d be amazing. But it really worries me.

I wish you the best, no matter what you decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Are you kidding? Teachers reference their spouses ALL THE TIME. It’s totally normal, as it should be. THey are humans.

[Anonymous]

I run a youth org and am gay. A number of staff are LGBTQ. We are located in a diverse small city in the northeast and honestly, I do not worry about being targeted for being gay. I think there has been a significant change in how we interact with youth over the past 10 years. Stuff that we considered normal a decade ago: a student and staff working in our office after hours, giving a young person a ride home, giving a student a gift card as a graduation gift. Now we have a handbook and all of those things are explicitly forbidden. I think maintaining really clear boundaries is important to keep youth safe (even if you would never approach a student sexually, having bad boundaries can normalize that behavior in ways that make young people vulnerable) and to maintain our professional reputations.

Does your school have written policies about how adults can and can't interact with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Are you kidding? Teachers reference their spouses ALL THE TIME. It’s totally normal, as it should be. THey are humans.

Why would a teacher need to reference their spouse ALL THE TIME?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Are you kidding? Teachers reference their spouses ALL THE TIME. It’s totally normal, as it should be. THey are humans.

I can’t think of a single time any of my teachers or professors mentioned a spouse. My husband recalls this was very rare in his case. In any event, mentioning a spouse is fine. Still, teachers should keep their personal lives personal. That will limit any risk. Any male teacher needs to be especially careful. My husband taught for years and worked never to be alone with a student. He also had no cause to mention his personal life. If you truly want suggestions, these will help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Are you kidding? Teachers reference their spouses ALL THE TIME. It’s totally normal, as it should be. THey are humans.

Teacher here-never do I remember mentioning my spouse and any did so “all the time” as you state, that’s odd. Get real.