Nanny jealousy

[Anonymous]

One of my best mom-friends from my kid’s preschool has the best nanny. I see the nanny at pick up with the one-year-old and she is engaged and so loving. Their preschooler runs to the nanny and has so much to say to her. According to my mom friend, this nanny has never once been late and never called in sick (but did take off a planned day after her second vaccine). This nanny has been with them since the preschooler was a month old and clearly loves the kids.

Why can’t I find someone like her?! We are a nice, normal family (two kids) who pays well. We’ve been through three nannies in 3.5 years - one quit, one was let go after two miserable weeks, and the one we have now is mediocre at best and doesn’t seem to enjoy being with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Pay above market and offer generous benefits and you'll find someone good who wants to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pay above market and offer generous benefits and you'll find someone good who wants to stay.

We do. OP here and $28 an hour plus healthcare stipend ($300 a month) and all holidays off plus two weeks vacation and five days PTO. My preschooler is in school five hours a day and I do drop off so she just has the little one for 5.5 hours a day. I think that’s good, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay above market and offer generous benefits and you'll find someone good who wants to stay.

We do. OP here and $28 an hour plus healthcare stipend ($300 a month) and all holidays off plus two weeks vacation and five days PTO. My preschooler is in school five hours a day and I do drop off so she just has the little one for 5.5 hours a day. I think that’s good, right?

DP. That is good, in my opinion.

Where are you finding Nannies? We interviewed 5 or 6 before finding ours. And we love her and she loves our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay above market and offer generous benefits and you'll find someone good who wants to stay.

We do. OP here and $28 an hour plus healthcare stipend ($300 a month) and all holidays off plus two weeks vacation and five days PTO. My preschooler is in school five hours a day and I do drop off so she just has the little one for 5.5 hours a day. I think that’s good, right?

DP. That is good, in my opinion.

Where are you finding Nannies? We interviewed 5 or 6 before finding ours. And we love her and she loves our kids.

A good agency in our area and care.com with careful screening (I think).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay above market and offer generous benefits and you'll find someone good who wants to stay.

We do. OP here and $28 an hour plus healthcare stipend ($300 a month) and all holidays off plus two weeks vacation and five days PTO. My preschooler is in school five hours a day and I do drop off so she just has the little one for 5.5 hours a day. I think that’s good, right?

DP. That is good, in my opinion.

Where are you finding Nannies? We interviewed 5 or 6 before finding ours. And we love her and she loves our kids.

A good agency in our area and care.com with careful screening (I think).

Ask your friend where she got hers and if she has tips.

[Anonymous]

In all honesty, OP, sometimes it’s just luck.

We found our first nanny on care.com and she was an older woman (54 at the time) and a college graduate. She engaged my son and taught him so much. And they were always bonded. After he started preschool, she left our employ but never left my son. To this day, (he’s nine now) she still sees him once a week (refusing payment) and they FaceTime a couple nights every week. When I got pregnant with my second, nanny was a year into another position with a child she loved too and not available. So we used the same process with more money and got a nice but mediocre nanny for my second child. She was fine but never engaged her or found places to take her. She took care of my child but that was it. We ended up sending our second to daycare at 18 months because she was so behind where our son was at that age with the great nanny.

Luck of the draw, I suppose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay above market and offer generous benefits and you'll find someone good who wants to stay.

We do. OP here and $28 an hour plus healthcare stipend ($300 a month) and all holidays off plus two weeks vacation and five days PTO. My preschooler is in school five hours a day and I do drop off so she just has the little one for 5.5 hours a day. I think that’s good, right?

DP. That is good, in my opinion.

Where are you finding Nannies? We interviewed 5 or 6 before finding ours. And we love her and she loves our kids.

A good agency in our area and care.com with careful screening (I think).

Ask your friend where she got hers and if she has tips.

OP here. My friend posted an ad on care.com!! Her nanny also lives less than a mile away. She interviewed only two nannies.

[Anonymous]

A lot of it is luck.

But our nanny is also awesome, and we got her by responding to a post on the neighborhood parent list serve from a Mom who had a wonderful nanny they no longer needed. Can you try that approach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In all honesty, OP, sometimes it’s just luck.

We found our first nanny on care.com and she was an older woman (54 at the time) and a college graduate. She engaged my son and taught him so much. And they were always bonded. After he started preschool, she left our employ but never left my son. To this day, (he’s nine now) she still sees him once a week (refusing payment) and they FaceTime a couple nights every week. When I got pregnant with my second, nanny was a year into another position with a child she loved too and not available. So we used the same process with more money and got a nice but mediocre nanny for my second child. She was fine but never engaged her or found places to take her. She took care of my child but that was it. We ended up sending our second to daycare at 18 months because she was so behind where our son was at that age with the great nanny.

Luck of the draw, I suppose.

I love “she left our employ but never left my son”. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

[Anonymous]

Ask the nanny if she knows anyone with her work ethic looking for a job.

[Anonymous]

DH’s aunt was a nanny and told us to ask the nanny-candidates about their former charges. If their eyes light up and they can’t wait to tell you about them, you’ve found a good nanny.

We also have the best and most coveted nanny in our circle. She’s loving, calm, engaged, and reliable. When we asked her in the interview about her former charges she gushed! You could see how much she loved them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH’s aunt was a nanny and told us to ask the nanny-candidates about their former charges. If their eyes light up and they can’t wait to tell you about them, you’ve found a good nanny.

We also have the best and most coveted nanny in our circle. She’s loving, calm, engaged, and reliable. When we asked her in the interview about her former charges she gushed! You could see how much she loved them.

This is a really good suggestion!

[Anonymous]

It’s just luck. I’ve been very unlucky with nannies. My friend has had hers for 5 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of it is luck.

But our nanny is also awesome, and we got her by responding to a post on the neighborhood parent list serve from a Mom who had a wonderful nanny they no longer needed. Can you try that approach?

Word of mouth is the best way to find a great nanny. Ask your friend's nanny to spread the word among nannies she knows and you let mom friends know you're looking.