DH picked the name for DD1, vetoing all my ideas for DC2

[Anonymous]

I was very firmly in the "we have to meet the baby camp" for our 1st child. Went into the delivery room with a list of about 8 names and decided on the name that was DH's 2nd favorite. I vetoed the first because it was Charlotte during the Charlotte heyday. Throughout the pregnancy he used the eventual name we settled on as a "placeholder" whenever he referred to the baby.

Many years later we are pregnant with #2 and cannot come to any consensus on names. I truly believe that since he chose the 1st name for #1 and I chose the middle name, it should be swapped this time. He also likes to recycle names of people in our orbit, so not necessarily paying homage to anyone but child would have the same name as his cousin's kids or his childhood neighbor which I find strange...

How do we find common ground? The pregnancy hormones are eating at me and I'm really struggling with this because I have a few names that I feel very strongly about and am not willing to give up on just yet.

[Anonymous]

DEvelop a list of 8 names. You get to pick one from it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the choice should be yours this time with the exception of strongly vetoed names.

I gave into DH with our second and am still really sorry I did. Her name is pretty enough but I just don’t love it. We’ve been using a great unrelated nickname that I hope sticks forever.

[Anonymous]

There is absolutely nothing strange about your child having the same name as the child of a cousin or childhood friend. First names are “common names” for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was very firmly in the "we have to meet the baby camp" for our 1st child. Went into the delivery room with a list of about 8 names and decided on the name that was DH's 2nd favorite. I vetoed the first because it was Charlotte during the Charlotte heyday. Throughout the pregnancy he used the eventual name we settled on as a "placeholder" whenever he referred to the baby.

Many years later we are pregnant with #2 and cannot come to any consensus on names. I truly believe that since he chose the 1st name for #1 and I chose the middle name, it should be swapped this time. He also likes to recycle names of people in our orbit, so not necessarily paying homage to anyone but child would have the same name as his cousin's kids or his childhood neighbor which I find strange...

How do we find common ground? The pregnancy hormones are eating at me and I'm really struggling with this because I have a few names that I feel very strongly about and am not willing to give up on just yet.

I'm confused by the bolded. Did DH actually get to make the decision on the name? Or did the one you decided on, or jointly decided on, happen to be his second favorite?

[Anonymous]

Mom fills out and signs the birth certificate. Just sayin’.

[Anonymous]

I picked all of our kids' names. Since I didn't get to help pick the surname, I don't see why DH should get to help pick the first name. That said, I didn't and wouldn't pick something he hated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was very firmly in the "we have to meet the baby camp" for our 1st child. Went into the delivery room with a list of about 8 names and decided on the name that was DH's 2nd favorite. I vetoed the first because it was Charlotte during the Charlotte heyday. Throughout the pregnancy he used the eventual name we settled on as a "placeholder" whenever he referred to the baby.

Many years later we are pregnant with #2 and cannot come to any consensus on names. I truly believe that since he chose the 1st name for #1 and I chose the middle name, it should be swapped this time. He also likes to recycle names of people in our orbit, so not necessarily paying homage to anyone but child would have the same name as his cousin's kids or his childhood neighbor which I find strange...

How do we find common ground? The pregnancy hormones are eating at me and I'm really struggling with this because I have a few names that I feel very strongly about and am not willing to give up on just yet.

I'm confused by the bolded. Did DH actually get to make the decision on the name? Or did the one you decided on, or jointly decided on, happen to be his second favorite?

This confused me too. If he had gotten to pick the name for the first baby, wouldn’t he choose his favorite off the list? Not his second favorite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was very firmly in the "we have to meet the baby camp" for our 1st child. Went into the delivery room with a list of about 8 names and decided on the name that was DH's 2nd favorite. I vetoed the first because it was Charlotte during the Charlotte heyday. Throughout the pregnancy he used the eventual name we settled on as a "placeholder" whenever he referred to the baby.

Many years later we are pregnant with #2 and cannot come to any consensus on names. I truly believe that since he chose the 1st name for #1 and I chose the middle name, it should be swapped this time. He also likes to recycle names of people in our orbit, so not necessarily paying homage to anyone but child would have the same name as his cousin's kids or his childhood neighbor which I find strange...

How do we find common ground? The pregnancy hormones are eating at me and I'm really struggling with this because I have a few names that I feel very strongly about and am not willing to give up on just yet.

I'm confused by the bolded. Did DH actually get to make the decision on the name? Or did the one you decided on, or jointly decided on, happen to be his second favorite?

Yeah, I am confused here. If you vetoed his first choice of a list of 8 you both found acceptable, this doesn't seem like it is as simple as "he picked," it's a compromise. Unless the entire list of 8 was names only he wanted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was very firmly in the "we have to meet the baby camp" for our 1st child. Went into the delivery room with a list of about 8 names and decided on the name that was DH's 2nd favorite. I vetoed the first because it was Charlotte during the Charlotte heyday. Throughout the pregnancy he used the eventual name we settled on as a "placeholder" whenever he referred to the baby.

Many years later we are pregnant with #2 and cannot come to any consensus on names. I truly believe that since he chose the 1st name for #1 and I chose the middle name, it should be swapped this time. He also likes to recycle names of people in our orbit, so not necessarily paying homage to anyone but child would have the same name as his cousin's kids or his childhood neighbor which I find strange...

How do we find common ground? The pregnancy hormones are eating at me and I'm really struggling with this because I have a few names that I feel very strongly about and am not willing to give up on just yet.

I'm confused by the bolded. Did DH actually get to make the decision on the name? Or did the one you decided on, or jointly decided on, happen to be his second favorite?

His (first) favorite was Charlotte. She vetoed it, and they settled on his "second" favorite.


This confused me too. If he had gotten to pick the name for the first baby, wouldn’t he choose his favorite off the list? Not his second favorite?

[Anonymous]

Just develop a list of 8 names. Tell him he can only veto ONE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I picked all of our kids' names. Since I didn't get to help pick the surname, I don't see why DH should get to help pick the first name. That said, I didn't and wouldn't pick something he hated.

You sound awful.

[Anonymous]

My advice is no matter how you and DH pick a name, pick one well before you are in the hospital delivering. You're going to be exhausted and hormonal and might not make a good decision then and you'll both feel stressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice is no matter how you and DH pick a name, pick one well before you are in the hospital delivering. You're going to be exhausted and hormonal and might not make a good decision then and you'll both feel stressed.

That sounds like a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I picked all of our kids' names. Since I didn't get to help pick the surname, I don't see why DH should get to help pick the first name. That said, I didn't and wouldn't pick something he hated.

Of course you helped pick it. You could have given them your maiden name, which you didn't have to change but chose to. These are your choices.