Teacher issues: sarcasm etc

[Anonymous]

Ah ok. I thought that was someone else responding with a hypothetical situation! Lol.

I agree none of the teacher's behavior sounds great then. Do you know anything about the teacher of the class if she were to be transferred? The part about the sight words seemed really inappropriate. Everytime I read these threads it makes me grateful for my kids teachers. Sorry you are dealing with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chiming in to say we don't know the specific reason teacher said "I feel sad." I doubt it was from miscoloring a donkey. When my DS's (5) very effective speech therapist says "look at my face. How do you think I am feeling right now. Why?" it is because DS is at his worst behavior, not because he made a mistake in his work.

It is a technique she has used over a few years and seeing it in Zoom never makes me question it or feel uncomfortable FWIW.
-NP

OP here. It actually was about coloring a donkey grey. Some children colored the donkey brown or another color. Teacher did not like that.

OP again. I wish I could attach a picture. My daughter colored hers brown with red ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah ok. I thought that was someone else responding with a hypothetical situation! Lol.

I agree none of the teacher's behavior sounds great then. Do you know anything about the teacher of the class if she were to be transferred? The part about the sight words seemed really inappropriate. Everytime I read these threads it makes me grateful for my kids teachers. Sorry you are dealing with this.

I should have written OP again but I felt a little steamed. My mistake. It was definitely donkey related lol

[Anonymous]

That distinction especially seems like something a control freak would do. I think a 5yo could easily pick up a brown crayon instead of gray. Was she individually redirecting her to the brown crayon and she was willfully not listening? Even if that were the case it seems off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The comment that the teacher is "sad" about kids not listening is fine.

Your comment, parent, that children shouldn't be "responsible" for adults' emotions is wrong. Children should absolutely be made aware when their behavior has an impact on adults' emotions, whether that impact is positive or negative.
-- From the time my children were infants, I told them when their smiles, hugs, kind words, etc., made me happy, brightened my day, etc.
-- From the time my children were infants, I told them when their hits, bites, screams, etc. made me feel sad.
-- From the time my children were toddlers, I told them when their help cleaning up toys, their gentle touches with animals, etc. made me feel proud.
-- From the time my children were toddlers, I told them when their illnesses, injuries, lying, etc. made me feel worried.

I agree with you that controlling bathroom breaks is ridiculous.

You're entitled to parent as you like. I tell my children to clean up their toys because we need to live in an orderly house and toys need to be in their places. I tell them to be gentle to animals because only assholes hurt animals. I tell them not to bite because biting is painful. I don't want my children to calibrate their world based on what makes people happy. That's a slippery road to nowhere. There are rules and there are natural consequences to not following them, and they have nothing to do with making me sad. My sadness or happiness doesn't rule the world. The consequence of not following directions in class is not learning something and getting a bad grade. The teacher's sadness? Nah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chiming in to say we don't know the specific reason teacher said "I feel sad." I doubt it was from miscoloring a donkey. When my DS's (5) very effective speech therapist says "look at my face. How do you think I am feeling right now. Why?" it is because DS is at his worst behavior, not because he made a mistake in his work.

It is a technique she has used over a few years and seeing it in Zoom never makes me question it or feel uncomfortable FWIW.
-NP

Very effective and appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chiming in to say we don't know the specific reason teacher said "I feel sad." I doubt it was from miscoloring a donkey. When my DS's (5) very effective speech therapist says "look at my face. How do you think I am feeling right now. Why?" it is because DS is at his worst behavior, not because he made a mistake in his work.

It is a technique she has used over a few years and seeing it in Zoom never makes me question it or feel uncomfortable FWIW.
-NP

OP here. It actually was about coloring a donkey grey. Some children colored the donkey brown or another color. Teacher did not like that.

Sounds like the teacher failed child development. Using sarcasm and emotions as disciplinary tools is not appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah ok. I thought that was someone else responding with a hypothetical situation! Lol.

I agree none of the teacher's behavior sounds great then. Do you know anything about the teacher of the class if she were to be transferred? The part about the sight words seemed really inappropriate. Everytime I read these threads it makes me grateful for my kids teachers. Sorry you are dealing with this.

OP again. We did decide to move her because I feel like all the little pebbles of negativity in this classroom added up to a mountain. She has always felt "off". If anything, I wish I did it sooner. We emailed yesterday to say we decided we wanted to switch & we already got a welcome email from the new teacher. That's already an amazing improvement because her current teacher never emails. I feel guilty not jumping on this sooner but I didn't want to complain without enough evidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah ok. I thought that was someone else responding with a hypothetical situation! Lol.

I agree none of the teacher's behavior sounds great then. Do you know anything about the teacher of the class if she were to be transferred? The part about the sight words seemed really inappropriate. Everytime I read these threads it makes me grateful for my kids teachers. Sorry you are dealing with this.

OP again. We did decide to move her because I feel like all the little pebbles of negativity in this classroom added up to a mountain. She has always felt "off". If anything, I wish I did it sooner. We emailed yesterday to say we decided we wanted to switch & we already got a welcome email from the new teacher. That's already an amazing improvement because her current teacher never emails. I feel guilty not jumping on this sooner but I didn't want to complain without enough evidence.

I will say that the move does have one bad thing: we have to switch math teachers too and my daughter has been doing awesome in her class. I still feel like this was the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think children should be responsible for the emotions for adults” Really? The teacher is communicating to her students in words that children understand. Children need to understand that their actions have consequences. Newsflash, OP, people’s actions do have consequences and do affect how how others feel. You are a piece of work. Please, please, please bring this example to your Principal and ask for a new teacher....

The feeling of another adult is not a consequence that should be meaningful to the child. I've taught my children early on to respond to things like that with "I'm not responsible for what you feel." And they aren't.

This is an appalling attitude both to have and to pass onto your children. It is this kind of attitude that leads to individuals being self-absorbed, unempathetic, close-minded, antisocial people who care nothing about their families, neighbors, community, or humankind as a whole.

If your kid says to an adult, "You are fat and ugly," and the adult responds, "Those words hurt my feelings," you actually taught your children to say, "I'm not responsible for what you feel"?

If your kid makes a racist or discriminatory comment, and the adult tells your kid that the comment is not appropriate and is hurtful, you'd encourage your child to reapond, "I'm not responsible for what you feel"?

If your kid is kind towards another person and that person says, "Thank you! That made me feel happy that you showed kindness, " you taught your kid to answer, "I'm not responsible for what you feel"?

If your kid does a good job on something and his or her teacher/coach/religious leader says, "I am so proud of you," you encourage your child to respond,
"I'm not responsible for what you feel"?

OP is making an error in parenting that will impact the kind of person her child becomes. And she is more concerned about a mediocre teacher.

This is a lot of projecting! Wowzers. A child should never have to think about her teacher's sadness because she didn't follow instructions on how to color a donkey. The teacher could say "Please follow the directions." Not you made me sad. It's over the top and ridiculous. Children are not responsible for the happiness of adults. You find that in yourself. That's parenting 101.

I vehemently disagree. I think it is Parenting 101 to explain to children how their actions impact others, both positively and negatively.

I agree that it is a little ridiculous to tell a child that not coloring a donkey correctly makes the teacher sad, but teaching your child to say, "I'm not responsible for what you feel" in other situations is extremely poor parenting.

I agree. No one thinks this is a stellar teacher, and everyone seems to agree she is somewhere between mediocre and inappropriate. But OP is literally teaching her child an icky, narcissistic reply to people who share their feelings..

There is no way this will end well for OP’s kid. Frankly I feel sorry for the kid, and not because they have a lousy teacher. Newsflash, there will be more.

Did you major in straw man tactics in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chiming in to say we don't know the specific reason teacher said "I feel sad." I doubt it was from miscoloring a donkey. When my DS's (5) very effective speech therapist says "look at my face. How do you think I am feeling right now. Why?" it is because DS is at his worst behavior, not because he made a mistake in his work.

It is a technique she has used over a few years and seeing it in Zoom never makes me question it or feel uncomfortable FWIW.
-NP

OP here. It actually was about coloring a donkey grey. Some children colored the donkey brown or another color. Teacher did not like that.

My donkey is brown on top and white below, with one brown anklet, and that is how a donkey would be colored by my child. I'm glad you found a new teacher, and I'm generally a big fan of teachers.

[Anonymous]

Has the teacher never seen a donkey i. REal life? They can be a variety of colors just like horses.

I'm glad you transferred your lid. I'll bet money you aren't the only parent that noticed and transferred

Kids should be taught empathy. They should lean not to hurt the feelings of their peers. An adult is not their peer. The teacher seems to be immature ans have some emotional issues of her own. She is human.

[Anonymous]

She just sounds like a b*tch.

[Anonymous]

It's inappropriate.

This is what my mother is like. To me, then my kids and we limited contact for a long time.

It's probably just how she was raised, not intentionally cruel or anything. Keep in mind she is not your child's primary care giver, and your child does not *need* gaps filled by this teachers approval or care.

Would it bother me? Sure. But in my experience it was better to save switches for when it really mattered. And sometimes this stuff is a good way to introduce healthy emotional intelligence to your child.

[Anonymous]

OP HERE> with an update. My daughter is with her teacher today and it is going SO much better. I hope it continues! She teaches and talks to the kids a lot more, less computer work, respectful to all the children in her class, and makes some things a choice vs mandatory. I am so glad we switched!