NYT: Forget Pancakes. Pay Mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People should not be paid for their lifestyle choices. Parenting is a chosen responsibility not a job.

How is having kids a lifestyle choice? Almost everyone has kids. It’s part of living on planet earth. If we stopped having kids the world would cease to exist. It’s not a lifestyle choice. Select people may be able to opt out but the vast majority of us can’t and wouldn’t want to. Building a family is a natural human desire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM (3 yo and 1 yo). I don't need to be paid. It bothers me that some people look down on me for being a SAHM, but oh well.... Money from the government wouldn't solve that.

I do feel like every woman should have the option have one child and be able to stay home with that child til age 3. It's an essential human joy that should be open to all of us. It breaks my heart that there are women out there who have to return to work and put young children in childcare because they are too poor to stay home. I would be devastated if I had to return to work and leave my babies with someone else, and I don't think any person should have to face that if it's not their own choice. So, in a sense, I guess those people should get "paid" for staying home with children. OR I think 1) housing should be affordable and 2) their partners should be able to make a living wage that supports a family.

But you do need to be paid. You have a job with a $0 salary! Get it now? Your job is considered worthless. It’s so worthless that you don’t get paid to do it. Your husband on the other hand gets paid a lot most likely to do what he does.

+ 1

I think this whole thing totally flew over her head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People should not be paid for their lifestyle choices. Parenting is a chosen responsibility not a job.

How is having kids a lifestyle choice? Almost everyone has kids. It’s part of living on planet earth. If we stopped having kids the world would cease to exist. It’s not a lifestyle choice. Select people may be able to opt out but the vast majority of us can’t and wouldn’t want to. Building a family is a natural human desire.

But is that a responsible approach? Think of all the low income single moms.

And it simply isn’t true that the world would cease to exist if people exercised greater responsibility with birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People should not be paid for their lifestyle choices. Parenting is a chosen responsibility not a job.

How is having kids a lifestyle choice? Almost everyone has kids. It’s part of living on planet earth. If we stopped having kids the world would cease to exist. It’s not a lifestyle choice. Select people may be able to opt out but the vast majority of us can’t and wouldn’t want to. Building a family is a natural human desire.

But is that a responsible approach? Think of all the low income single moms.

And it simply isn’t true that the world would cease to exist if people exercised greater responsibility with birth control.

You’re changing what you originally said. Now you’re saying it’s only a lifestyle choice for low income people.

[Anonymous]

FTR, I asked DH for pancakes this morning (Mother’s Day). And he ran out to get special coffee for me. That’s all I really need (well, that plus handling dinner tonight).

Not sure my voice counts though since I’m a white collar professional who out earns my DH. Having said that, I do believe my two cents counts since I’m raising a handful of kids while juggling a career and we don’t outsource cleaning or lawn service. We were blessed to cobble together child care with two grandmas and college/high school students plus preschool, camps, etc. And DH and I have always staggered our start and end times during the work week to handle getting kids off to school along with sports, etc. each afternoon/evening.

To sum up: pancakes were more than sufficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People should not be paid for their lifestyle choices. Parenting is a chosen responsibility not a job.

How is having kids a lifestyle choice? Almost everyone has kids. It’s part of living on planet earth. If we stopped having kids the world would cease to exist. It’s not a lifestyle choice. Select people may be able to opt out but the vast majority of us can’t and wouldn’t want to. Building a family is a natural human desire.

But is that a responsible approach? Think of all the low income single moms.

And it simply isn’t true that the world would cease to exist if people exercised greater responsibility with birth control.

You’re changing what you originally said. Now you’re saying it’s only a lifestyle choice for low income people.

I didn’t change anything. I’m a different poster, and that was my first comment.

Your premise is basically that everyone is entitled to have kids. I disagree. I think it’s dangerously irresponsible to have a baby you can’t afford. In America, you basically need to be a single high earner or married in order to afford a kid. Data points to the biggest poverty indicator as single parenting (it’s a “no duh” statistic that two parents are better than one even if one stays home to cover child care).

As a household with two professionals, we can afford to raise a handful of kids. Had our salaries been lower, we would have stopped at 2. Had I been single, I would have debated having even 1.

FTR, I’m all for higher tax credits and cash benefits to support raising young kids (0-5). I’m not in favor of paying women to be sahms forever. Once your kid hits kindergarten, they are in school 6 hours a day. I’m also not in favor of giving a handout to affluent women (that’s a waste).

Candidly, I think the real issue is that some women feel undervalued by their husbands and “society.” The former might be legit (depending on your husband). The latter is largely driven by insecurity. As a career professional, I can assure you I couldn’t care less if a woman works or not. That’s her choice. But I do find it irritating to hear people complain about their lot in life. Smarten up, people: don’t have a kid unless you are prepared to dedicate your entire life to being the best parent you can be.

Anyone watch The Last Kingdom? Uhtred’s teen daughter has wisely determined getting married means having babies and being responsible for child rearing and cooking and chores, etc. She realizes it means sacrificing her own needs and life (basically). She’s not wrong. I mean, things are better in 2020 America, but it’s still not all puppy dogs and rainbows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM (3 yo and 1 yo). I don't need to be paid. It bothers me that some people look down on me for being a SAHM, but oh well.... Money from the government wouldn't solve that.

I do feel like every woman should have the option have one child and be able to stay home with that child til age 3. It's an essential human joy that should be open to all of us. It breaks my heart that there are women out there who have to return to work and put young children in childcare because they are too poor to stay home. I would be devastated if I had to return to work and leave my babies with someone else, and I don't think any person should have to face that if it's not their own choice. So, in a sense, I guess those people should get "paid" for staying home with children. OR I think 1) housing should be affordable and 2) their partners should be able to make a living wage that supports a family.

But you do need to be paid. You have a job with a $0 salary! Get it now? Your job is considered worthless. It’s so worthless that you don’t get paid to do it. Your husband on the other hand gets paid a lot most likely to do what he does.

+ 1

I think this whole thing totally flew over her head.

Who cares? The article is dumb. PP’s point that it breaks her heart that some women have to return to work earlier than they want is very valid. Which is why we need extended paid maternity leave like the other developed countries have. I am a WOHM btw.