I’ve already donated most of my kids (early) Christmas presents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here back again.

I completely acknowledge that my post is from a place of privilege. I know how lucky we are to have family and gifts.

THAT ASIDE...because this post was meant to be a discussion.

The gifts were not from the amazon list. They were random gifts. And they were much more expensive than experiences.

When the boys opened them, I encouraged them to say thank you and be excited. We played with the toys and were very grateful. We’ll send thank you cards.

At home, I put the toys in the corner with the other toys. My boys never touched them. So, I’ve donated them.

I don’t get how that makes me terrible. I’m just trying to talk to other parents about gifts.

I would have waited more than a few days. Sometimes kids find something in their basket months later and it is a best toy for them at that time and becomes a favorite.

+1 Just because the kids didn't play with it within the first couple days, doesn't mean they won't enjoy it a bit later. Sounds like a lot of parents putting their own needs/wants/interests above those of their children. That's fine but just admit it. Don't act like your kids don't like toys.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow these responses strike me as nuts. Yes, op, I've absolutely donated gifts basically upon opening. My kids never noticed. Sometimes when they were little I opened them before they did (if they were mailed to us) and donated before kids even saw them. We have a small apartment and kids have tons of toys here and at school. They're totally happy kids and hopefully the recipients of the donated toys were happy, too. Or maybe they regifted, also. Whatever!

You intercepted your kids gifts, opened them, and donated them before they even saw them?!?

Omg you win shitty parent of the year. And that’s saying a lot on DCUM.

If editing the barrage of crappy and age inappropriate toys that enter my apartment of a regular basis from well meaning but totally clueless extended family members makes me the shittiest parent of the year then you are totally out of touch with what true family dysfunction looks like.

It’s not the editing. It’s the taking of the gift before it even gets to the intended recipient. I’m sure you’d love it if your husband started intercepting your gifts and editing them as he sees fit.

If my husband and I parented each other the way we parent our children we would be talking about a host of other issues.

Though, frankly, if someone gave my husband some dumb gift to pass on to me that he knew I'd toss immediately, I really wouldn't care if he dumped it before bringing it home. There is So. Much. Crap. handed out these days. I feel like I donate or throw out so many things that I wish weren't gifted in the first place. Know your recipients, people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Can you buy experiences on Amazon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow these responses strike me as nuts. Yes, op, I've absolutely donated gifts basically upon opening. My kids never noticed. Sometimes when they were little I opened them before they did (if they were mailed to us) and donated before kids even saw them. We have a small apartment and kids have tons of toys here and at school. They're totally happy kids and hopefully the recipients of the donated toys were happy, too. Or maybe they regifted, also. Whatever!

You intercepted your kids gifts, opened them, and donated them before they even saw them?!?

Omg you win shitty parent of the year. And that’s saying a lot on DCUM.

If editing the barrage of crappy and age inappropriate toys that enter my apartment of a regular basis from well meaning but totally clueless extended family members makes me the shittiest parent of the year then you are totally out of touch with what true family dysfunction looks like.

It’s not the editing. It’s the taking of the gift before it even gets to the intended recipient. I’m sure you’d love it if your husband started intercepting your gifts and editing them as he sees fit.

If my husband and I parented each other the way we parent our children we would be talking about a host of other issues.

Though, frankly, if someone gave my husband some dumb gift to pass on to me that he knew I'd toss immediately, I really wouldn't care if he dumped it before bringing it home. There is So. Much. Crap. handed out these days. I feel like I donate or throw out so many things that I wish weren't gifted in the first place. Know your recipients, people!

There's certainly a time for purging toys. I'd say before Christmas is a good time to purge old toys to make room for new ones. Not giving kids toys from their grandparents is a whole other thing. OP should teach her kids to say thank you, to overlook how it isn't exactly the right thing -- you know, "It's the thought that counts."

It's Christmas, people. This is not spring cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you actually be honest with the grandparents and tell them that you don’t want gifts? Let them know that any gift they give to their grandchildren will be given away. You really owe them that. Are the gifts coming from your in-laws by any chance? Just a wild guess here.

[Anonymous]

I’m just imagining Mary after the three wise men left. “Joseph, can you believe the nerve of those guys? We already have SO MUCH frankincense! Couldn’t they have bought Jesus tickets to a chariot race?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just imagining Mary after the three wise men left. “Joseph, can you believe the nerve of those guys? We already have SO MUCH frankincense! Couldn’t they have bought Jesus tickets to a chariot race?”

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I mentioned “experiences” because I thought other people would: “why didn’t you ask for experiences?” They want to gift toys, and ask for a list. So I provide one.

My boys don’t have interest in the gifts because they were items from a show they don’t know or watch (no, we aren’t “screen free”) and the other toy was several years younger than their level.

We opened them because we were visiting family in another state for Christmas.

I was asking...has anyone else opened and donated gifts, and it’s not even Christmas?!

OP, I did this last week! I unwrapped all the gifts from my parents and in-laws and got rid of about half. (I rewrapped the ones we are keeping.). My kids are 1 and 3. They don’t need 10 presents from one set of grandparents, and our house is too small for this crap. Plus I was able to donate the extra things to a toy drive since they were still in their original packaging. And now I don’t need to have a fight every day with my three year old about wearing a too big frozen costume to daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow these responses strike me as nuts. Yes, op, I've absolutely donated gifts basically upon opening. My kids never noticed. Sometimes when they were little I opened them before they did (if they were mailed to us) and donated before kids even saw them. We have a small apartment and kids have tons of toys here and at school. They're totally happy kids and hopefully the recipients of the donated toys were happy, too. Or maybe they regifted, also. Whatever!

You intercepted your kids gifts, opened them, and donated them before they even saw them?!?

Omg you win shitty parent of the year. And that’s saying a lot on DCUM.

If editing the barrage of crappy and age inappropriate toys that enter my apartment of a regular basis from well meaning but totally clueless extended family members makes me the shittiest parent of the year then you are totally out of touch with what true family dysfunction looks like.

It’s not the editing. It’s the taking of the gift before it even gets to the intended recipient. I’m sure you’d love it if your husband started intercepting your gifts and editing them as he sees fit.

If my husband and I parented each other the way we parent our children we would be talking about a host of other issues.

Though, frankly, if someone gave my husband some dumb gift to pass on to me that he knew I'd toss immediately, I really wouldn't care if he dumped it before bringing it home. There is So. Much. Crap. handed out these days. I feel like I donate or throw out so many things that I wish weren't gifted in the first place. Know your recipients, people!

There's certainly a time for purging toys. I'd say before Christmas is a good time to purge old toys to make room for new ones. Not giving kids toys from their grandparents is a whole other thing. OP should teach her kids to say thank you, to overlook how it isn't exactly the right thing -- you know, "It's the thought that counts."

It's Christmas, people. This is not spring cleaning.

DP, but part of the problem is grandparents who buy more than one present per child. If they could be reasonable, I wouldn’t be forced to screen incoming presents more thoroughly than TSA

[Anonymous]

I can't get over the "experience gift" nonsense. Did this start with the escape room crap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m just imagining Mary after the three wise men left. “Joseph, can you believe the nerve of those guys? We already have SO MUCH frankincense! Couldn’t they have bought Jesus tickets to a chariot race?”

LOL

+1. Love this post.

[Anonymous]

Skipped several pages, but I can relate to the OP in that our ILs spend lots of money on “stocking” gifts for each of our 4 kids, DH and me. Absolutely the most useless stuff on the planet and 99% of it gets donated.

MIL used to ask for a list. I put down a wide variety of items we could use that could be purchased at Walmart (where ILs shop). I always included items at low price points, including Cetaphil soap, Carmex lip balm etc. DH (THEIR SON!) and two of our kids have severe skin allergies, and always have. MIL knows this, yet she would buy crazy products like Axe body spray and scented soaps. After a while, I gave up. We just dump everything into a bag on Christmas night and donate it. At least someone somewhere will get good use out of it.

The $30 they spend on each of our stockings could buy a nice dinner out for our family during Christmas (where we live). We don’t get nice dinners out very often. All of us would love a gift card for something like that, but it will never happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I mentioned “experiences” because I thought other people would: “why didn’t you ask for experiences?” They want to gift toys, and ask for a list. So I provide one.

My boys don’t have interest in the gifts because they were items from a show they don’t know or watch (no, we aren’t “screen free”) and the other toy was several years younger than their level.

We opened them because we were visiting family in another state for Christmas.

I was asking...has anyone else opened and donated gifts, and it’s not even Christmas?!

Never, we keep them till they are outgrown. Opening a gift and playing with it, is an experience. Your 3-4 year old will not remember the trip to the zoo in a few years.

We don’t all live in McMansions with entire rooms devoted to toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Skipped several pages, but I can relate to the OP in that our ILs spend lots of money on “stocking” gifts for each of our 4 kids, DH and me. Absolutely the most useless stuff on the planet and 99% of it gets donated.

MIL used to ask for a list. I put down a wide variety of items we could use that could be purchased at Walmart (where ILs shop). I always included items at low price points, including Cetaphil soap, Carmex lip balm etc. DH (THEIR SON!) and two of our kids have severe skin allergies, and always have. MIL knows this, yet she would buy crazy products like Axe body spray and scented soaps. After a while, I gave up. We just dump everything into a bag on Christmas night and donate it. At least someone somewhere will get good use out of it.

The $30 they spend on each of our stockings could buy a nice dinner out for our family during Christmas (where we live). We don’t get nice dinners out very often. All of us would love a gift card for something like that, but it will never happen.

OP here and man, YES. My in laws and mother spend a LOT of money on gifts that ultimately get donated.

[Anonymous]

My MIL used to do the same. Every year a raggedy Annie and some junk from Lillian Vernon or whatever catalog landed in her mailbox. We had just bought a house in a better school district and I would think “how about something useful?” While recycling.