Husband as default parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I actually fond that doing pick up and drop off WAS the biggest impediment to my career. Never being able to make a morning meeting and always having to be able to go by 5:30 made it impossible for me to pick up certain things that interested me at work, and frankly it made it so that I just wasn’t as dedicated as some other people, even if I wished to be.
If your husband is getting baby packed and doing drop off every morning AND taking on every sick day and phone call from daycare during the workday AND your office has a culture that a lot of people leave by 4:30 for daycare pickup, then I think you are golden.

Really, in terms of work performance, it doesn’t matter who plans the birthday parties or puts on lotion at night.

I am a single dad, had/have a good job but b/c of my child obligations (50-50 joint custody), I am a 9 to 5er (at most). Several years ago I knew that climbing the corporate ladder was not in my cards b/c of my priorities with kids and I was ok with it. It meant not being on the fast track to high level positions (which I was on), but rather, stay at the same level indefinitely. I accepted that. If you fight that and resent your spouse for it, you'll never be happy.

OP here - I have no desire to have a high level position. I am just playing catch up from my time as a trailing spouse. I want to get to mid-manager level (director) and call it a day. From what I see in my organization, directors are paid well and aren't killing themselves work-wise, so this is my goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I actually fond that doing pick up and drop off WAS the biggest impediment to my career. Never being able to make a morning meeting and always having to be able to go by 5:30 made it impossible for me to pick up certain things that interested me at work, and frankly it made it so that I just wasn’t as dedicated as some other people, even if I wished to be.
If your husband is getting baby packed and doing drop off every morning AND taking on every sick day and phone call from daycare during the workday AND your office has a culture that a lot of people leave by 4:30 for daycare pickup, then I think you are golden.

Really, in terms of work performance, it doesn’t matter who plans the birthday parties or puts on lotion at night.

I am a single dad, had/have a good job but b/c of my child obligations (50-50 joint custody), I am a 9 to 5er (at most). Several years ago I knew that climbing the corporate ladder was not in my cards b/c of my priorities with kids and I was ok with it. It meant not being on the fast track to high level positions (which I was on), but rather, stay at the same level indefinitely. I accepted that. If you fight that and resent your spouse for it, you'll never be happy.

OP here - I have no desire to have a high level position. I am just playing catch up from my time as a trailing spouse. I want to get to mid-manager level (director) and call it a day. From what I see in my organization, directors are paid well and aren't killing themselves work-wise, so this is my goal.

PP here. Best of luck to you! I'm a Director (and have been for many years) and you're right.