how to deny maternity leave extension

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She aint never coming back. BTDT.

Finally. This is really the problem. Does she say she's definitelt coming back or is she vague about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing how many heartless people are on this board. For those saying that the employee should have requested the annual leave beforehand, did you ever stop to think that maybe she's struggling with postpartum depression or another post delivery complication. Or like others have suggested, maybe her child care situation fell through at the last minute. She's asking to take vacation time that she accrued, not a handout. For those saying she is making women looking bad for doing so, if it was a man going through a major medical procedure and asking for a little additional leave time I doubt you'd be so judgmental.

+1.

And that's fine. AND just like every other employee who asks for vacation, it has to be approved by the boss. The boss has a responsibility to the organization to make sure there's enough coverage. Just because you ask for vacation time doesn't mean it gets approved. It's summer time, which is when many folks like to use their vacation time. If this employee wants to share that she is struggling with childcare or postpartum depression and that's why she needs to use her vacation, she can certainly do that and her boss can take that into account when making a decision whether to approve or not. But it's not okay for the boss to be expected to make guesses about that. No one here knows why this employee is asking for vacation time.

Because she just had a BABY. She created life. She went through a traumatic experience and has hormones making her attached to the baby. Gosh, I hate men.

WTH are you talking about? I am a woman who gave birth, used my leave and then extended it beyond the 12 weeks for another 2 weeks. I was upfront about it. And if that's what this woman needs, then great. But if she's heading to the Outer Banks because she just got a great deal on a beach house and wants her co-workers to cover for her another two weeks, well...her boss is well within his/her bounds to deny approval. The employee in this thread has not communicated what's going on.

Do you realize how belittling it is for you to assume a woman who gave birth in the last year can't communicate because of hormones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing how many heartless people are on this board. For those saying that the employee should have requested the annual leave beforehand, did you ever stop to think that maybe she's struggling with postpartum depression or another post delivery complication. Or like others have suggested, maybe her child care situation fell through at the last minute. She's asking to take vacation time that she accrued, not a handout. For those saying she is making women looking bad for doing so, if it was a man going through a major medical procedure and asking for a little additional leave time I doubt you'd be so judgmental.

+1.

And that's fine. AND just like every other employee who asks for vacation, it has to be approved by the boss. The boss has a responsibility to the organization to make sure there's enough coverage. Just because you ask for vacation time doesn't mean it gets approved. It's summer time, which is when many folks like to use their vacation time. If this employee wants to share that she is struggling with childcare or postpartum depression and that's why she needs to use her vacation, she can certainly do that and her boss can take that into account when making a decision whether to approve or not. But it's not okay for the boss to be expected to make guesses about that. No one here knows why this employee is asking for vacation time.

Because she just had a BABY. She created life. She went through a traumatic experience and has hormones making her attached to the baby. Gosh, I hate men.

WTH are you talking about? I am a woman who gave birth, used my leave and then extended it beyond the 12 weeks for another 2 weeks. I was upfront about it. And if that's what this woman needs, then great. But if she's heading to the Outer Banks because she just got a great deal on a beach house and wants her co-workers to cover for her another two weeks, well...her boss is well within his/her bounds to deny approval. The employee in this thread has not communicated what's going on.

Do you realize how belittling it is for you to assume a woman who gave birth in the last year can't communicate because of hormones?

It's pathetic you only took 14 weeks off for your baby. This is what's wrong with this county - women keep allowing themselves to be treated like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing how many heartless people are on this board. For those saying that the employee should have requested the annual leave beforehand, did you ever stop to think that maybe she's struggling with postpartum depression or another post delivery complication. Or like others have suggested, maybe her child care situation fell through at the last minute. She's asking to take vacation time that she accrued, not a handout. For those saying she is making women looking bad for doing so, if it was a man going through a major medical procedure and asking for a little additional leave time I doubt you'd be so judgmental.

+1.

And that's fine. AND just like every other employee who asks for vacation, it has to be approved by the boss. The boss has a responsibility to the organization to make sure there's enough coverage. Just because you ask for vacation time doesn't mean it gets approved. It's summer time, which is when many folks like to use their vacation time. If this employee wants to share that she is struggling with childcare or postpartum depression and that's why she needs to use her vacation, she can certainly do that and her boss can take that into account when making a decision whether to approve or not. But it's not okay for the boss to be expected to make guesses about that. No one here knows why this employee is asking for vacation time.

Because she just had a BABY. She created life. She went through a traumatic experience and has hormones making her attached to the baby. Gosh, I hate men.

WTH are you talking about? I am a woman who gave birth, used my leave and then extended it beyond the 12 weeks for another 2 weeks. I was upfront about it. And if that's what this woman needs, then great. But if she's heading to the Outer Banks because she just got a great deal on a beach house and wants her co-workers to cover for her another two weeks, well...her boss is well within his/her bounds to deny approval. The employee in this thread has not communicated what's going on.

Do you realize how belittling it is for you to assume a woman who gave birth in the last year can't communicate because of hormones?

It's pathetic you only took 14 weeks off for your baby. This is what's wrong with this county - women keep allowing themselves to be treated like this.

So what's an employer with only 5 employees supposed to do? Somebody has to cover for her. Must be some balances in the fairnesses in a situation like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing how many heartless people are on this board. For those saying that the employee should have requested the annual leave beforehand, did you ever stop to think that maybe she's struggling with postpartum depression or another post delivery complication. Or like others have suggested, maybe her child care situation fell through at the last minute. She's asking to take vacation time that she accrued, not a handout. For those saying she is making women looking bad for doing so, if it was a man going through a major medical procedure and asking for a little additional leave time I doubt you'd be so judgmental.

+1.

And that's fine. AND just like every other employee who asks for vacation, it has to be approved by the boss. The boss has a responsibility to the organization to make sure there's enough coverage. Just because you ask for vacation time doesn't mean it gets approved. It's summer time, which is when many folks like to use their vacation time. If this employee wants to share that she is struggling with childcare or postpartum depression and that's why she needs to use her vacation, she can certainly do that and her boss can take that into account when making a decision whether to approve or not. But it's not okay for the boss to be expected to make guesses about that. No one here knows why this employee is asking for vacation time.

Because she just had a BABY. She created life. She went through a traumatic experience and has hormones making her attached to the baby. Gosh, I hate men.

Love how think anyone that disagrees with you is a man. Because I am woman, mother and business professional. Millions of babies are spit out every year. It's really not the colossal, dramatic rare event you make it out to be.
With equality come equal responsibility and this women is demanding unequal favoritism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing how many heartless people are on this board. For those saying that the employee should have requested the annual leave beforehand, did you ever stop to think that maybe she's struggling with postpartum depression or another post delivery complication. Or like others have suggested, maybe her child care situation fell through at the last minute. She's asking to take vacation time that she accrued, not a handout. For those saying she is making women looking bad for doing so, if it was a man going through a major medical procedure and asking for a little additional leave time I doubt you'd be so judgmental.

+1.

And that's fine. AND just like every other employee who asks for vacation, it has to be approved by the boss. The boss has a responsibility to the organization to make sure there's enough coverage. Just because you ask for vacation time doesn't mean it gets approved. It's summer time, which is when many folks like to use their vacation time. If this employee wants to share that she is struggling with childcare or postpartum depression and that's why she needs to use her vacation, she can certainly do that and her boss can take that into account when making a decision whether to approve or not. But it's not okay for the boss to be expected to make guesses about that. No one here knows why this employee is asking for vacation time.

Because she just had a BABY. She created life. She went through a traumatic experience and has hormones making her attached to the baby. Gosh, I hate men.

WTH are you talking about? I am a woman who gave birth, used my leave and then extended it beyond the 12 weeks for another 2 weeks. I was upfront about it. And if that's what this woman needs, then great. But if she's heading to the Outer Banks because she just got a great deal on a beach house and wants her co-workers to cover for her another two weeks, well...her boss is well within his/her bounds to deny approval. The employee in this thread has not communicated what's going on.

Do you realize how belittling it is for you to assume a woman who gave birth in the last year can't communicate because of hormones?

It's pathetic you only took 14 weeks off for your baby. This is what's wrong with this county - women keep allowing themselves to be treated like this.

So what's an employer with only 5 employees supposed to do? Somebody has to cover for her. Must be some balances in the fairnesses in a situation like this.

Maternity leave should be long enough to begin with. If this woman received six months or more she most likely wouldn't need to extend her leave. She's having to extend her leave now because it wasn't long enough to begin with! I don't think the employer should have to entirely bear the burden of longer leave. It should be paid for via a payroll tax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing how many heartless people are on this board. For those saying that the employee should have requested the annual leave beforehand, did you ever stop to think that maybe she's struggling with postpartum depression or another post delivery complication. Or like others have suggested, maybe her child care situation fell through at the last minute. She's asking to take vacation time that she accrued, not a handout. For those saying she is making women looking bad for doing so, if it was a man going through a major medical procedure and asking for a little additional leave time I doubt you'd be so judgmental.

+1.

And that's fine. AND just like every other employee who asks for vacation, it has to be approved by the boss. The boss has a responsibility to the organization to make sure there's enough coverage. Just because you ask for vacation time doesn't mean it gets approved. It's summer time, which is when many folks like to use their vacation time. If this employee wants to share that she is struggling with childcare or postpartum depression and that's why she needs to use her vacation, she can certainly do that and her boss can take that into account when making a decision whether to approve or not. But it's not okay for the boss to be expected to make guesses about that. No one here knows why this employee is asking for vacation time.

Because she just had a BABY. She created life. She went through a traumatic experience and has hormones making her attached to the baby. Gosh, I hate men.

WTH are you talking about? I am a woman who gave birth, used my leave and then extended it beyond the 12 weeks for another 2 weeks. I was upfront about it. And if that's what this woman needs, then great. But if she's heading to the Outer Banks because she just got a great deal on a beach house and wants her co-workers to cover for her another two weeks, well...her boss is well within his/her bounds to deny approval. The employee in this thread has not communicated what's going on.

Do you realize how belittling it is for you to assume a woman who gave birth in the last year can't communicate because of hormones?

It's pathetic you only took 14 weeks off for your baby. This is what's wrong with this county - women keep allowing themselves to be treated like this.

What's pathetic is that you don't know what you're talking about. I went back to working outside the home while my partner then stayed home full-time with our baby until she was 3. Then she started full-time free PreK3 here in the District. She's a lovely, bright, well-adjusted kid. And damn, I'm so happy we live here and had that opportunity for free PreK3 with amazing teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amazing how many heartless people are on this board. For those saying that the employee should have requested the annual leave beforehand, did you ever stop to think that maybe she's struggling with postpartum depression or another post delivery complication. Or like others have suggested, maybe her child care situation fell through at the last minute. She's asking to take vacation time that she accrued, not a handout. For those saying she is making women looking bad for doing so, if it was a man going through a major medical procedure and asking for a little additional leave time I doubt you'd be so judgmental.

+1.

And that's fine. AND just like every other employee who asks for vacation, it has to be approved by the boss. The boss has a responsibility to the organization to make sure there's enough coverage. Just because you ask for vacation time doesn't mean it gets approved. It's summer time, which is when many folks like to use their vacation time. If this employee wants to share that she is struggling with childcare or postpartum depression and that's why she needs to use her vacation, she can certainly do that and her boss can take that into account when making a decision whether to approve or not. But it's not okay for the boss to be expected to make guesses about that. No one here knows why this employee is asking for vacation time.

Because she just had a BABY. She created life. She went through a traumatic experience and has hormones making her attached to the baby. Gosh, I hate men.

WTH are you talking about? I am a woman who gave birth, used my leave and then extended it beyond the 12 weeks for another 2 weeks. I was upfront about it. And if that's what this woman needs, then great. But if she's heading to the Outer Banks because she just got a great deal on a beach house and wants her co-workers to cover for her another two weeks, well...her boss is well within his/her bounds to deny approval. The employee in this thread has not communicated what's going on.

Do you realize how belittling it is for you to assume a woman who gave birth in the last year can't communicate because of hormones?

It's pathetic you only took 14 weeks off for your baby. This is what's wrong with this county - women keep allowing themselves to be treated like this.

So what's an employer with only 5 employees supposed to do? Somebody has to cover for her. Must be some balances in the fairnesses in a situation like this.

Maternity leave should be long enough to begin with. If this woman received six months or more she most likely wouldn't need to extend her leave. She's having to extend her leave now because it wasn't long enough to begin with! I don't think the employer should have to entirely bear the burden of longer leave. It should be paid for via a payroll tax.

Then advocate for the payroll tax, don't attack the small employer who has already given far more than the law requires or than most American employers do, and more than she might get in many countries that do fund maternity leave.

[Anonymous]

I see no reason why I should have to pay for your choice to have children. Plan better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see no reason why I should have to pay for your choice to have children. Plan better.

Why should others have to pay for your retirement and your healthcare during retirement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is what could be going on, based on what I experienced myself and knowing other new mothers on maternity leaves. Even when you know you have to go back to work, because your family will not be able to pay the bills if you do not, and child care is all lined up, there is a primal and desperate terror at the thought of leaving your infant child for so many hours each day.

This employee may understand on a rational level that such a last minute request to use vacation time is unprofessional and inconsiderate.

However, emotionally, she may be searching for any way out of having to part from her baby. Please keep this in mind when denying the extension, and do it both kindly and firmly. Maybe offer half days the first week back, or mention that there is a pumping area reserved for her to use.

Be as supportive as you can for what is an exhausting and time and difficult transition for many mothers. There is just something gut wrenching about the anxiety of managing the transition back to work, for many new moms.

I don't think this is true of all mothers. Some feel like the walls are closing in onvthem, and they can't wait to hand their baby over to another caregiver to go back to work. Same with mums when their kids go back to school at the end of summer and teachers are responsible for the little darlings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see no reason why I should have to pay for your choice to have children. Plan better.

Why should others have to pay for your retirement and your healthcare during retirement?

I have been working since I was 16 yrs old and have paid for my social security plus retirement. I have earned my retirement and Medicare. You have not earned paid maternity leave!

[Anonymous]

OP, tell her "no.". Other employees have been filling in for her and they planned their vacation around her original date of return . Her choice, come back or terminate employment. She is going to give you notice after you give her the extra two weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, tell her "no.". Other employees have been filling in for her and they planned their vacation around her original date of return . Her choice, come back or terminate employment. She is going to give you notice after you give her the extra two weeks.

+1,000


Seriously 3 months off is a bitch-and-a-half for all the co-workers covering for her. I don't understand why a personal choice to have a child should continuously negatively affect the business environment. That's on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't presume it's becauss she's a cliched weeping mess that doesn't want to leave her baby. I couldn't wait to get back to work but I didn't have any child care that would take the baby until three weeks before I had to go back. I was on every waiting list and had been from the second I found out I was pregnant, called the local providers all the time - nothing. I got lucky because someone knew of someone just opening a home daycare (great - untried and untested, just what you want!). I had a proper center lined up for the fall, but I had to go back in June so I was scrambling and took a terrible option so I could pay the bills. I was a fed so I didn't have any paid maternity leave in the first place - I had been hoarding leave since my 20s so that I could have a kid at 40 and get some time off without losing a paycheck.

People can be great planners and still find themselves in a bind. Maybe your employee isn't so lucky as I got.

Sorry for this pp. Our country is so pathetic and backward. And yes, I know I could try to leave it.