husband divorce threats have stopped, whether to figure out "why" when things good now??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Book ordered! Thank you - OP

You're welcome. And if you want to come over to chumplady.com for support, we'd be glad to have you join us. I'm known as "Dixie" on that forum.

[Anonymous]

Op, i have watched this thread, and whike at first i was suprisdd about your level of denial, now i actually understand it completely. I think on some level you knew that he was this kind of guy and also knew how much you wanted the marriage to work. Keep telling people who support you andnyour marriage. They may be your best leverage. If he bails on you, there is nothing you can do. You did your best. And at least everyone will know his character and support you in next steps, if they come,

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP - appreciate that. It's like I married a player/ hot bachelor and now am getting my emotional arse kicked and self esteem squeezed out drop by drop. I admit I am naive, give people the benefit of the doubt, am naturally optimistic and a "make lemons into lemonade" type and I think in part I was attracted to "reforming" a confirmed bachelor. I guess a confirm dbachelor, even married, stays a bachelor.

[Anonymous]

Also get over to www.survivinginfidelity.com

Their take no prisoners advice can be shocking, but they give great support and help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here again - so it turned out the affair was the month before we got engaged (the sexual hookup) and the remainder of two years since have been regular phone calls/ texts (the "emotional" affair). DH denies that anything physical has happened since we got married, and that he was not having an affair in the period six months ago when he was asking for the divorce. My gut tells me I still don't know the full story.

Would I be reasonable to request phone record access to do a post mortem of that time period to see if he was regularly texting/calling any other Women? I am trying to move on and make things work and want the full disclosure/information in order to move on.

He's lying. "It was before we were engaged" is to admit to the minimum. That you weren't really committed at that point so it's ok. He's definitely lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again: I got a message from the husband of a woman telling me my DH was having an affair and that my DH is a liar and a cheat.....but my DH told me the man was just psycho/making it up and that he hadn't had contact with the man's wife.........

Are you kidding me? Dump him