Why is redshirting so common around here?

[Anonymous]

Nephew was redshirted with an August birthday and ended up being a late bloomer. He ended up with a baseball scholarship to a great college due, in part, to his being held back for a year and getting in four years of varsity baseball in high school.

Everyone needs to make their own decisions about their own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

hahaha!

OP, what school/town? I have this concern with my mid-August child. I would like to start her on time but don't want her to be the youngest by months if not a year. So annoying I even have to think about this.

Just curious why this is so concerning (absent something specific related to your DD)? I have a late December birthday, and I was one of the youngest, maybe the youngest, in my class. I was more than a year younger than some of my classmates. I'm also really petite, so I was probably noticeably smaller than other kids when I was in elementary school.

And it just didn't matter. I did well in school, had lots of friends (my BFF had a December birthday and was a year older, actually), and played sports. I just don't think these things matter as much as we worry that they do. Every kid is going to have their own struggles in school...by trying to game systems you're just teaching them that it's okay to shy from a challenge.

FWIW, DD is January-born so we really don't have an option. I used to worry about her being bored as the oldest in her class...but now I starting to think she might not be.

Because I started at 4 (late Oct. bday; was reading chapter books), was also very petite, and had the opposite social/emotional experience as you, which had implications for most of my schooling since I lived in the same town my whole life. Confirmation bias, PP: just because this didn't happen to you personally doesn't make your experience universal. Just as my experience is not universal, but it is certainly something I'll take into account when I start DD.

Agree that my experience is not universal. I think my point is that if you are petite, you will be even if you start a year later. Don't know what to say about emotional maturity, but my BFF who was a year older than me was probably more emotionally mature (than me and others). We still managed to be friends. I don't attribute my school experience to starting on the early side; and I think the opposite should also be considered. My niece is mid-November and started on time (making her older than a lot of her classmates). After many discussions with her school, my sister decided to have her skip 2nd grade. It was definitely the right decision, but obviously there is some transition time to having her change classes/friends. My point is that there can also be negative consequences for redshirting...

Everyone is going to have challenges and advantages, and kids mature and grow at very different rates. I think it's more important to look at the kid than at blanket rules like age relative to their classmates. Redshirting is just a hammer when the real issue is that kids might be ready for school at different ages than others. At the same time, I think one needs to be conservative about evaluating that. Many people graduating college aren't emotionally ready to hold a full time job...but I don't think that means they should stay in school longer. It means that at some point you have to learn to adapt to your environment. Grade school is a safer place for doing that...and a lot of factors (parents, school administration and teacher) can go into helping a child do that beyond their age at entry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed that the AAP class in McLean seems to be all kids that went on time. Parents of smart/gifted kids are less likely to redshirt as a group. So, if you holding back in hopes of AAP, think again.

Please. We all know that most with motivated parents that push get into AAP anyway and it has nothing to do with birth date.

[Anonymous]

I completely agree that there are downsides to r.s.'ing too. My bottom line is that no one should be 7 in kindergarten for reasons other than LD, SN, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

hahaha!

OP, what school/town? I have this concern with my mid-August child. I would like to start her on time but don't want her to be the youngest by months if not a year. So annoying I even have to think about this.

Just curious why this is so concerning (absent something specific related to your DD)? I have a late December birthday, and I was one of the youngest, maybe the youngest, in my class. I was more than a year younger than some of my classmates. I'm also really petite, so I was probably noticeably smaller than other kids when I was in elementary school.

And it just didn't matter. I did well in school, had lots of friends (my BFF had a December birthday and was a year older, actually), and played sports. I just don't think these things matter as much as we worry that they do. Every kid is going to have their own struggles in school...by trying to game systems you're just teaching them that it's okay to shy from a challenge.

FWIW, DD is January-born so we really don't have an option. I used to worry about her being bored as the oldest in her class...but now I starting to think she might not be.

Because I started at 4 (late Oct. bday; was reading chapter books), was also very petite, and had the opposite social/emotional experience as you, which had implications for most of my schooling since I lived in the same town my whole life. Confirmation bias, PP: just because this didn't happen to you personally doesn't make your experience universal. Just as my experience is not universal, but it is certainly something I'll take into account when I start DD.

Wait, you had a difficult time being the petite youngest, and yet you're annoyed that parents of children who would be like you were redshirted their children, because you want their kids to be the petite youngest rather than your own? Am I understanding you correctly?

No, I'm afraid you aren't. I think you missed a few key points, namely that I - not DD - was entered at 4. Not 5. DD will be 5, but barely. I plan to start her on time, but don't like the fact that people whose children are already older than her will get an EXTRA year on top of that and she'll be in a class with kids who are over a year older than her. That, to me, is inappropriate and too much of an age range for a grade. It forces the rest of us to put our kids in a potentially bad situation just for doing the obvious right thing - starting at 5 - or considering a faulty second option - starting them at barely 6 so they can hold their own in K with a bunch of almost-7-year-olds. The creep is ridiculous.

No, I understood you correctly. Unbelievable.

Nope, you still don't. Unbelievable. I see you're a redshirter with a 7 y.o. in K. Also unbelievable.

No, I'm not a redshirter with a 7 y.o. in K. What I am is a former youngest child who entered at 4 as well (even younger than you), and it was also very difficult for me. The difference between you and me is, apparently, that I learned some compassion out of the experience.

[Anonymous]

We had our DS repeat K because he's somewhat of a late bloomer- it takes things longer to click for him. It made all the difference in the world. He went from struggling his first year of K, to being at the top of his class, even 3 years later. So he'll be 19 when he goes to college. Big deal. Hopefully this will make him a little more mature than all the college boys I knew. I don't see any drawbacks.

And he's certainly not alone in being a year older- almost half of the boys in his class have birthdays before school starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

hahaha!

OP, what school/town? I have this concern with my mid-August child. I would like to start her on time but don't want her to be the youngest by months if not a year. So annoying I even have to think about this.

Just curious why this is so concerning (absent something specific related to your DD)? I have a late December birthday, and I was one of the youngest, maybe the youngest, in my class. I was more than a year younger than some of my classmates. I'm also really petite, so I was probably noticeably smaller than other kids when I was in elementary school.

And it just didn't matter. I did well in school, had lots of friends (my BFF had a December birthday and was a year older, actually), and played sports. I just don't think these things matter as much as we worry that they do. Every kid is going to have their own struggles in school...by trying to game systems you're just teaching them that it's okay to shy from a challenge.

FWIW, DD is January-born so we really don't have an option. I used to worry about her being bored as the oldest in her class...but now I starting to think she might not be.

Because I started at 4 (late Oct. bday; was reading chapter books), was also very petite, and had the opposite social/emotional experience as you, which had implications for most of my schooling since I lived in the same town my whole life. Confirmation bias, PP: just because this didn't happen to you personally doesn't make your experience universal. Just as my experience is not universal, but it is certainly something I'll take into account when I start DD.

Wait, you had a difficult time being the petite youngest, and yet you're annoyed that parents of children who would be like you were redshirted their children, because you want their kids to be the petite youngest rather than your own? Am I understanding you correctly?

No, I'm afraid you aren't. I think you missed a few key points, namely that I - not DD - was entered at 4. Not 5. DD will be 5, but barely. I plan to start her on time, but don't like the fact that people whose children are already older than her will get an EXTRA year on top of that and she'll be in a class with kids who are over a year older than her. That, to me, is inappropriate and too much of an age range for a grade. It forces the rest of us to put our kids in a potentially bad situation just for doing the obvious right thing - starting at 5 - or considering a faulty second option - starting them at barely 6 so they can hold their own in K with a bunch of almost-7-year-olds. The creep is ridiculous.

No, I understood you correctly. Unbelievable.

Nope, you still don't. Unbelievable. I see you're a redshirter with a 7 y.o. in K. Also unbelievable.

No, I'm not a redshirter with a 7 y.o. in K. What I am is a former youngest child who entered at 4 as well (even younger than you), and it was also very difficult for me. The difference between you and me is, apparently, that I learned some compassion out of the experience.

I think you completely lack reading comprehension if that's your conclusion. At any rate...peace out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is always going to be a child that is the youngest - possibly my July baby when he starts K having just turned 5 and I wouldn't be surprised if there are kids that turned 6 over the summer in the same class because the parents s decided to red shirt, which I dont love. Unless there are developmental delays to hold the child back a year, I don't understand why a school would allow the parents to "decide" not to send their kid to the appropriate grade, within the age cut off. So what if your child is the youngest? But by holding your child back you are guaranteeing that they will be a full year older than other kids that are SUPPOSED to be in that grade, which seems unfair to both them and the younger children.

At most of the private schools, it's the schools, not necessarily the parents, requesting or requiring redshirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

hahaha!

OP, what school/town? I have this concern with my mid-August child. I would like to start her on time but don't want her to be the youngest by months if not a year. So annoying I even have to think about this.

Just curious why this is so concerning (absent something specific related to your DD)? I have a late December birthday, and I was one of the youngest, maybe the youngest, in my class. I was more than a year younger than some of my classmates. I'm also really petite, so I was probably noticeably smaller than other kids when I was in elementary school.

And it just didn't matter. I did well in school, had lots of friends (my BFF had a December birthday and was a year older, actually), and played sports. I just don't think these things matter as much as we worry that they do. Every kid is going to have their own struggles in school...by trying to game systems you're just teaching them that it's okay to shy from a challenge.

FWIW, DD is January-born so we really don't have an option. I used to worry about her being bored as the oldest in her class...but now I starting to think she might not be.

Because I started at 4 (late Oct. bday; was reading chapter books), was also very petite, and had the opposite social/emotional experience as you, which had implications for most of my schooling since I lived in the same town my whole life. Confirmation bias, PP: just because this didn't happen to you personally doesn't make your experience universal. Just as my experience is not universal, but it is certainly something I'll take into account when I start DD.

Wait, you had a difficult time being the petite youngest, and yet you're annoyed that parents of children who would be like you were redshirted their children, because you want their kids to be the petite youngest rather than your own? Am I understanding you correctly?

No, I'm afraid you aren't. I think you missed a few key points, namely that I - not DD - was entered at 4. Not 5. DD will be 5, but barely. I plan to start her on time, but don't like the fact that people whose children are already older than her will get an EXTRA year on top of that and she'll be in a class with kids who are over a year older than her. That, to me, is inappropriate and too much of an age range for a grade. It forces the rest of us to put our kids in a potentially bad situation just for doing the obvious right thing - starting at 5 - or considering a faulty second option - starting them at barely 6 so they can hold their own in K with a bunch of almost-7-year-olds. The creep is ridiculous.

No, I understood you correctly. Unbelievable.

Nope, you still don't. Unbelievable. I see you're a redshirter with a 7 y.o. in K. Also unbelievable.

No, I'm not a redshirter with a 7 y.o. in K. What I am is a former youngest child who entered at 4 as well (even younger than you), and it was also very difficult for me. The difference between you and me is, apparently, that I learned some compassion out of the experience.

Where would you draw the line, PP? Is it compassionate to start a child at 7, 8, 9? Aren't some sort of parameters necessary to ensure that kindergarten serves a consistent age group, without 2+ year age differences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is always going to be a child that is the youngest - possibly my July baby when he starts K having just turned 5 and I wouldn't be surprised if there are kids that turned 6 over the summer in the same class because the parents s decided to red shirt, which I dont love. Unless there are developmental delays to hold the child back a year, I don't understand why a school would allow the parents to "decide" not to send their kid to the appropriate grade, within the age cut off. So what if your child is the youngest? But by holding your child back you are guaranteeing that they will be a full year older than other kids that are SUPPOSED to be in that grade, which seems unfair to both them and the younger children.

At most of the private schools, it's the schools, not necessarily the parents, requesting or requiring redshirting.

At the private schools near where I live (not DC) the cutoffs start at May 31 and go to about Aug 15. The public school cutoff is much later. If you send your kids to one of the local private schools, you are guaranteeing they'll be redshirted if you switch to the public schools. My oldest son ended up accidentally redshirted because of a school switch. He's a lot older now and we view it as a happy accident.

[Anonymous]

I've heard of July and August birthdays being redshirted, so not turning 7 yo during K. Do you know of spring birthday kids being redshirted also?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is always going to be a child that is the youngest - possibly my July baby when he starts K having just turned 5 and I wouldn't be surprised if there are kids that turned 6 over the summer in the same class because the parents s decided to red shirt, which I dont love. Unless there are developmental delays to hold the child back a year, I don't understand why a school would allow the parents to "decide" not to send their kid to the appropriate grade, within the age cut off. So what if your child is the youngest? But by holding your child back you are guaranteeing that they will be a full year older than other kids that are SUPPOSED to be in that grade, which seems unfair to both them and the younger children.

At most of the private schools, it's the schools, not necessarily the parents, requesting or requiring redshirting.

Yep, this was the situation for our August boy. I don't mind -- I figure they know their school and the cohort. It's known as a "pressure cooker" academically demanding school, so it makes some sense that they skew the classes older. He won't stick out in his class.

But it does mean that if we switch to public we'll either have to skip him a grade or he'll be among the oldest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard of July and August birthdays being redshirted, so not turning 7 yo during K. Do you know of spring birthday kids being redshirted also?

Oh yes. A year of private K and your late winter/spring bdays turn 7 in kindergarten. It should not be allowed when the standard age is 5. It's too much of an age and developmental difference, and I bet it makes it really hard for the teachers to teach effectively.

[Anonymous]

I trimmed a lot because it was getting long.

No, I'm not a redshirter with a 7 y.o. in K. What I am is a former youngest child who entered at 4 as well (even younger than you), and it was also very difficult for me. The difference between you and me is, apparently, that I learned some compassion out of the experience.

Where would you draw the line, PP? Is it compassionate to start a child at 7, 8, 9? Aren't some sort of parameters necessary to ensure that kindergarten serves a consistent age group, without 2+ year age differences?

I'm PP. First of all, anybody who speaks about 2+ year age differences is speaking in hyperbole. That doesn't happen without something else going on that you don't know about. Going immediately to that example makes anti-redshirters look hysterical and irrational (granted, that's an apt description of a lot of the ones here on DCUM).

With regards to where the line should be drawn, I do not think there should be a rigid line. I generally think that it's developmentally appropriate for most kids to enter K at five, but I think there are definitely children for whom that line doesn't work either way and I think the school system should be able to deal with that variation, including possibly having a wide variety of ages in grades. Personally, I privately wince when I see parents of four-year-olds going on and on about how bored their child will be (because I was that child), but I also trust that they are doing the best they can for their children and also understand that my single experience is not universal. (Essentially, I am wincing for the child I was, not really for their own child.) Similarly, if I encountered a child 2+ years older in one of my DC's classes (which I have never seen and my kids span a wide range of grades), I would presume that there is something going on that wasn't really my business. It is likely no easy childhood if you're far older than most of the children in your class.

It's never going to be a huge number of kids one way or the the other compared to the bulk of the children in the class. That's why the anti-redshirt posts come across as so frantic and hysterical. You are talking about a few kids one way or the other and there are many different circumstances that can cause that, including the fact that there are a lot of different age cut-offs in different schools and school districts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree that there are downsides to r.s.'ing too. My bottom line is that no one should be 7 in kindergarten for reasons other than LD, SN, etc.

Ok, thank goodness my SN kid meets your 'bottom' line. On top of dealing with our therapies I am grateful that I need not worry about offending you.

What the hell is wrong with you people?
Why does an older kid in class bother you? Because you think your genius kid will not be as much of a genius.