Neighbor is afraid of dogs and scaring my kids and dogs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can I ask a little more detail about what happened?

Your dog ran up to a child, did you call him back immediately? Did you call him back when you saw the child was afraid? Did he come immediately? Did the dog actually make contact with the child?

Another multi-dog household here. OP, unfortunately I agree that you are in the wrong. An unknown dog running toward you is SCARY, especially if you are already afraid of dogs. A really well-trained dog wouldn't approach another dog or human without permission from its owner. If your dog does approach others, or doesn't stop on a dime if you tell him to stop, then he isn't completely trained enough to be totally trustworthy off leash. I'm sorry, but he's not.

When I walk my dogs, that's almost 200lbs of dog on leashes. They are well behaved, but never off leash in public places because we don't have them trained to that level. However, all it takes is one unleashed dog to approach us in a way that doesn't make them comfortable and suddenly, I have a problem on my hands.

I do think that a friendly conversation, with an apology from you, is in order. Offer the explanation regarding how the neighborhood has used the location and ask if there's a way to work through this. Maybe that your dogs can be off leash, but as soon as anyone catches sight of this family, all dogs go back on leash with no complaints or bad feelings. Saying that your dogs need exercise isn't a valid excuse or right to use the space. Long walks with you, active time in your own fenced yard, or make that trip to the closest dog park or even an enclosed tennis court that's not in use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can I ask a little more detail about what happened?

Your dog ran up to a child, did you call him back immediately? Did you call him back when you saw the child was afraid? Did he come immediately? Did the dog actually make contact with the child?

Another multi-dog household here. OP, unfortunately I agree that you are in the wrong. An unknown dog running toward you is SCARY, especially if you are already afraid of dogs. A really well-trained dog wouldn't approach another dog or human without permission from its owner. If your dog does approach others, or doesn't stop on a dime if you tell him to stop, then he isn't completely trained enough to be totally trustworthy off leash. I'm sorry, but he's not.

When I walk my dogs, that's almost 200lbs of dog on leashes. They are well behaved, but never off leash in public places because we don't have them trained to that level. However, all it takes is one unleashed dog to approach us in a way that doesn't make them comfortable and suddenly, I have a problem on my hands.

I do think that a friendly conversation, with an apology from you, is in order. Offer the explanation regarding how the neighborhood has used the location and ask if there's a way to work through this. Maybe that your dogs can be off leash, but as soon as anyone catches sight of this family, all dogs go back on leash with no complaints or bad feelings. Saying that your dogs need exercise isn't a valid excuse or right to use the space. Long walks with you, active time in your own fenced yard, or make that trip to the closest dog park or even an enclosed tennis court that's not in use.

Nice response pp. I'm also a dog lover and can totally understand how the culture of a neighborhood might develop around a friendly dog hangout. Assuming it is fairly private and the owners are policing themselves and each other then no big deal (I know, the law, the law!) As good neighbors you should be conscious of the people around you and their fears and concerns. As pp said, try to smooth things over (maybe with cookies or brownies) and let her know the neighborhood tradition. FWIW the little boys next door were terrified of my giant dog when they moved in last year. They slowly warmed up to the dog and are now fast friends.

[Anonymous]

Plenty of people expect dog owners to obey the law and keep their dogs on leash in public areas. It doesn't mean they hate dogs, "don't understand" dogs, or have a dog phobia. It might just mean they do not want to be approached by a strange dog (or have a strange dog run up to their child unexpectedly).

I have a completely rational fear of large dogs after having been bitten in the face at age 11 by a supposedly gentle, well-trained German Shepherd who I did absolutely nothing to provoke. I'm sure the two kids whose family pet was euthanized after it bit me cried pretty hard, but really, I think my seventeen stitches and the scar on my cheek that still hasn't completely faded almost thirty years later sucked a lot worse.

OP, please don't assume that because your dog has never been aggressive in the past that that will always be the case. I'd hate for your 4-year to really have something to cry about if her dog has to be put down one day because it did something out of character while off leash.

[Anonymous]

OP I wouldn't blame you for ignoring the responses that have been nasty and unhelpful. But I do hope that you will take a moment to consider the many civil, well-supported posts that have explained how you are unfortunately in the wrong here. The fact is, you just don't have the right to let your dogs run around off leash in a shared/public space that is not designated as a dog park. End of story. Your neighbors overreacted, yes, but it doesn't exactly sound like you've presented your best self either. It's clear you are emotional and I don't blame you, but if you take a step back you may realize that it's best to just move on. Don't start a vendetta against these people and don't keep gossiping about them to anyone who will listen. It's mean to them and unbecoming to you. Take the high road.

FWIW, I am as big a dog lover as they come. I ADORE my two shaggy friendly mutts and I love nothing more than seeing them play with my kids. I say that in the hopes that you might actually consider what I've said instead of writing me off as a dog-phobic lunatic.

Good luck--I know this is not an easy situation.

[Anonymous]

I am most offended by the title of this thread. It should say "my dogs are scaring my neighbor".

[Anonymous]

So why is it you can't get together with the other families/dogs in one of your yards?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why is it you can't get together with the other families/dogs in one of your yards?

I think OP mentioned that they didn't have large yards (sloped?). But that's her problem and not the new neighbor's. OP is in the wrong and knows it.

[Anonymous]

This not complicated..your dog shouldn't be off a leash..not everyone likes dogs. I was bitten and had 30 stitches complements of a "friendly dog" who was off leash..people have no idea why this dog chaes me..it was a golden retriever no less. Whenever I se a dog off leash makes me feel sick and it has been 20 years since this happened. I am just amazed that you are more worried about your kid and are still thinking it's a crazy neighbor. No sympathy here.

[Anonymous]

I think OP was looking for sympathy and support but since the tide is running against her, she has probably left the discussion. From what I gather from her posts, this seems to be her way of handling things.

Glad she's not my neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with dogs, I LOVE dogs. I do not love people that insist they have a right to let their dogs off-leash in public spaces. If your dogs NEED recreation and you don't have a yard, you need to take them somewhere for recreation where you can legally have them off-leash....or don't have dogs if you don't have the space for them. Everyone thinks their dog is "well-behaved" and yet, accidents do happen, especially with small children around. I hate it when I see people letting their dogs off-leash in my neighborhood's common areas. Those spaces are for people, some of whom may not like dogs, have little experience with dogs, or be genuinely afraid of dogs.

Who owns the property where you were all hanging out? The county or your HOA? Maybe they can build a dog park for you.

+1

I am also a dog lover who grew up with dogs. My kids, for some reason completely unknown to me, are really afraid of dogs. No matter how often I have tried to introduce them to friendly dogs or help them get over their fear, they just don't like dogs. I hate when we go to the playground and someone has let their dog off leash and it is just running around. Eventually, it will come over to my kids and my kids will flip out and start to scream and yell trying to get away from the dog which usually just makes the dog want to "play" with them more. It doesn't matter if the dog is friendly or not, they don't want it near them. I usually end up feeling bad because the owner sort of sighs and reluctantly pulls out the leash for the dog. I know it is the law, but it often seems like my kids are the only ones who don't want the dog near them.

I feel for you, PP. I would be SO bummed if my kids were like that. It just seems so wierd and neurotic. We had always owned dogs and my kids have been taught over the years how to react to/approach/and talk to dogs. I dont mind unleashed dogs who are under "voice control" which is most but, I do not for the life of me understand dog owners, who's dogs are not trained/voce controlled, who let their dogs off leash anywhere they may encounter strangers. BTW - my dogs have cured several small children of their dog-phobia. They do not jump up or lick and will move away if a person instructs them to and they are pretty big dogs. Find someone like this to help your kids get over their fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with dogs, I LOVE dogs. I do not love people that insist they have a right to let their dogs off-leash in public spaces. If your dogs NEED recreation and you don't have a yard, you need to take them somewhere for recreation where you can legally have them off-leash....or don't have dogs if you don't have the space for them. Everyone thinks their dog is "well-behaved" and yet, accidents do happen, especially with small children around. I hate it when I see people letting their dogs off-leash in my neighborhood's common areas. Those spaces are for people, some of whom may not like dogs, have little experience with dogs, or be genuinely afraid of dogs.

Who owns the property where you were all hanging out? The county or your HOA? Maybe they can build a dog park for you.

+1

I am also a dog lover who grew up with dogs. My kids, for some reason completely unknown to me, are really afraid of dogs. No matter how often I have tried to introduce them to friendly dogs or help them get over their fear, they just don't like dogs. I hate when we go to the playground and someone has let their dog off leash and it is just running around. Eventually, it will come over to my kids and my kids will flip out and start to scream and yell trying to get away from the dog which usually just makes the dog want to "play" with them more. It doesn't matter if the dog is friendly or not, they don't want it near them. I usually end up feeling bad because the owner sort of sighs and reluctantly pulls out the leash for the dog. I know it is the law, but it often seems like my kids are the only ones who don't want the dog near them.

I feel for you, PP. I would be SO bummed if my kids were like that. It just seems so wierd and neurotic. We had always owned dogs and my kids have been taught over the years how to react to/approach/and talk to dogs. I dont mind unleashed dogs who are under "voice control" which is most but, I do not for the life of me understand dog owners, who's dogs are not trained/voce controlled, who let their dogs off leash anywhere they may encounter strangers. BTW - my dogs have cured several small children of their dog-phobia. They do not jump up or lick and will move away if a person instructs them to and they are pretty big dogs. Find someone like this to help your kids get over their fear.

PP, maybe it's just me but something about your post seems, well, kinda F'ed up.

[Anonymous]

^^ agree.

I believe the poster is the same guy from the other thread that doesn't see why his "voice trained" dog should be on a leash, despite the local law and the fact that his neighbors didn't like it.

That, and the fact that he says in one breath that he "feels for" the PP and then calls her kids wierd (sic) and neurotic.

Feh.

[Anonymous]

Update from OP here: I was kind of laughing over the accumulated postings here, because clearly half of you didn't read my original post or follow up posts either. But that's okay, the few of you that did and took the time to offer constructive comments have my thanks.

My neighbors and I had a meeting in the play area about the new neighbor. Since two of us are on the HOA, we decided to go forward with the idea of a dog park. Also, it was decided that we needed to get to know her and her family better, as she, like myself, has a husband serving in the military right now.

So, those of you who tried to paint this as a dog lover vs dog hater will probably be very disappointed to find that we will work it out, because we all have much more respect for each other in our neighborhood than some of you do in the DCUM neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Turning it into a dog park is not working it out. So I guess you are going to overpower her with your HOA status. Well, I guess that's all you have. Must be nice to have such a simple life. How old are you, 15?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turning it into a dog park is not working it out. So I guess you are going to overpower her with your HOA status. Well, I guess that's all you have. Must be nice to have such a simple life. How old are you, 15?

How can you both be against off leash dogs and against turning the area into a dog park? How is this not working it out since the problem was off leash dogs not the use of a sloped wooded area? I'm not the OP, but it seems like this is being constructive instead of being pointlessly negative about the situation.