Expecting and I just found out I don't qualify for short term disability. America is not pro-life/pro-birth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who tf plans their sex life around freaking open enrollment lol.

You plan a pregnancy around open enrollment.

The fact that you’re saying this is how an adult should conduct their sex life is indicative of the problem.[/quote

It's how responsible adults should conduct their sex life. There are too many irresponsible adults nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP as an addition to your story, I have STD but it doesnt cover pregnancy or pregnancy-related complications. I also have no maternity leave.
People can suck it. There's a reason nothing like this should be tied to employment. Insurance. STD. Maternity/paternity, etc. Its all shitty quid pro quo for capitalism.

And for those of comparing 55% (sometimes untaxed) for a year to 100% for 12 weeks (taxed) with the latter as better, I cant even. Its like someone saying ill give you a dollar for 365 days a week versus someone saying ill give you 2 dollars for 90 days and you thinking the latter is a win.

55% with no daycare costs, ability to nap when baby naps, ability to enjoy and experience being nap trapped, to be the first thing your baby sees in the morning and the last view at night, to be able to walk and explore outside with them versus 100% and a nanny/daycare at 12 weeks where you are lucky if they get picked up and carried and loved. Again see the shitty quid pro quo for capitalism.

Without tying it to employment, people would make even worse decisions. If taxpayers were forced to pay people thousands of dollars to have babies (which is what we’re talking about here, since OP wants benefits that she didn’t pay into) then we’d have tons of women constantly pregnant and having babies they can’t afford just because they get paid to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who tf plans their sex life around freaking open enrollment lol.

You plan a pregnancy around open enrollment.

The fact that you’re saying this is how an adult should conduct their sex life is indicative of the problem.

Dp. What is wrong with using birth control and even abstaining if you can’t afford to get pregnant? When did having unprotected piv sex as much as you want become an essential thing that the rest of us should pay for?

Where are you seeing that she can’t afford to get pregnant?
6 weeks without being paid is a bummer but she’ll still have insurance and get paid, so I’m missing the issue here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who tf plans their sex life around freaking open enrollment lol.

You plan a pregnancy around open enrollment.

The fact that you’re saying this is how an adult should conduct their sex life is indicative of the problem.

Dp. What is wrong with using birth control and even abstaining if you can’t afford to get pregnant? When did having unprotected piv sex as much as you want become an essential thing that the rest of us should pay for?

Where are you seeing that she can’t afford to get pregnant?
6 weeks without being paid is a bummer but she’ll still have insurance and get paid, so I’m missing the issue here?

Get paid when she returns*

[Anonymous]

As an hr manager I find this hard to believe because pregnancy is not a disability. Child birth is. You don't have that pre existing Condition yet. I'd get in a call with the the person who coordinates your benes In house and the std provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who tf plans their sex life around freaking open enrollment lol.

You plan a pregnancy around open enrollment.

The fact that you’re saying this is how an adult should conduct their sex life is indicative of the problem.

I'm PP. I didn't comment on how an adult can "conduct their sex life".

You are equating "sex life" with "pregnancy planning". These are two different things.

The fact that you can't distinguish this is indicative of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so angry.

I am a contractor with benefits, or so I thought. I've been with my job for two years - I started in July 2024. My mom unexpectedly passed a month later, and I had a really, really hard time. I wish I could've had longer than the week I was out to grieve; my mental health took an extreme nose dive for months. So, this year I decided I was going to enroll in short-term disability. Open enrollment was from 10/27/25 - 11/7/25. I had a doctor's appointment and found out I was pregnant 11/23/25. I was discussing my leave with HR, and because short-term disability is based on the last missed period or conception (just found this out today), I don't qualify. Since I'm a contractor, I don't get maternity leave, only short-term disability, so I have absolutely nothing.

I can't believe this. I am so angry that they don't go by medical confirmation. Meanwhile, my fiancé gets 8 weeks, and my brother-in-law is getting SIX months of paid leave, while his wife only gets 2 weeks. We had planned to sign a lease for a much larger place this week (we currently live in a 1-bedroom condo with two dogs), but because of this, we will now need to stay put. I'm glad we still have a place to live, but since I won't have any income for at least 6 weeks, we'll have to be even more cramped here.

I know there's more than one reason why the fertility rates are so low here, but sheesh, if we were more pro-birth, maybe people would be inclined to have children.

You knew the dates for open enrollment so why didn't you use your head for something other than a hat rack by either both you and partner using birth control and a condom or simply abstaining so you would not fall pregnant during open enrollment? I agree with the poster up thread who said you were just gaming the system and you lost.

One of the most important, if not the most important, attributes of an adult is accepting responsibility for your decisions when they turn out bad.

Who tf plans their sex life around freaking open enrollment lol.

Actually I agree with the PP. If there are times when you’re uninsured or can’t get pregnant for whatever reason then you should have made sure there’s no chance of getting pregnant. It doesn’t kill you to do that for a couple of months!

It wasn’t a couple of months. I started a 3 month contract ( they extended it months later) in July of 2024, so I enrolled when I started. I didn’t have another open enrollment until this November of 2025.

Employers are required to offer an open enrollment period 1x per year. If you were hired and enrolled as a new hire in July 2024, there would’ve been an open enrollment period in the fall of 2024 for the 2025 plan year. And then again in Fall 2025 for 2026 benefits.

You could’ve signed up at 2 different points; declined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an hr manager I find this hard to believe because pregnancy is not a disability. Child birth is. You don't have that pre existing Condition yet. I'd get in a call with the the person who coordinates your benes In house and the std provider.

Girl have you not heard of a pre-existing condition clause on a voluntary STD plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The number of people out here fighting for the rights of employers to shit all over moms has me despairing that things will ever change. You all sound like Pick Me’s for capitalism.

OP this sucks and is super gross, but try not to let it overshadow your joy. Congratulations!

A “pick me” is a derogatory term. At some point, people have to recognize the world they live in and play by those rules instead of making themselves the victim.

If you are 35 and having intercourse, you could get pregnant. If you work for a company that offers voluntary short term disability, you should sign up because you might need it… not throw a fit and blame society when you fail to sign up for something and it becomes unavailable to you when you need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The number of people out here fighting for the rights of employers to shit all over moms has me despairing that things will ever change. You all sound like Pick Me’s for capitalism.

OP this sucks and is super gross, but try not to let it overshadow your joy. Congratulations!

A “pick me” is a derogatory term. At some point, people have to recognize the world they live in and play by those rules instead of making themselves the victim.

If you are 35 and having intercourse, you could get pregnant. If you work for a company that offers voluntary short term disability, you should sign up because you might need it… not throw a fit and blame society when you fail to sign up for something and it becomes unavailable to you when you need it.

DP.

She shouldn’t have been denied because she didn’t know when she was pregnant. Denying it because they want to go back to a missed period of time of conception is predatory. As another PP said, pregnancy isn’t a pre existing condition, birth is, but not pregnancy.

Dads who get paternal leave don’t have to go through this….

So yes, the system can and absolutely be blamed. Do you know OP could’ve been denied even she had PCOS, previously had post partum depression, infertility issues? Plenty of women get denied even if they signed up on day 1. They look for a reason to deny you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who tf plans their sex life around freaking open enrollment lol.

You plan a pregnancy around open enrollment.

The fact that you’re saying this is how an adult should conduct their sex life is indicative of the problem.

I'm PP. I didn't comment on how an adult can "conduct their sex life".

You are equating "sex life" with "pregnancy planning". These are two different things.


Tell me, how does one get pregnant??
The fact that you can't distinguish this is indicative of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so angry.

I am a contractor with benefits, or so I thought. I've been with my job for two years - I started in July 2024. My mom unexpectedly passed a month later, and I had a really, really hard time. I wish I could've had longer than the week I was out to grieve; my mental health took an extreme nose dive for months. So, this year I decided I was going to enroll in short-term disability. Open enrollment was from 10/27/25 - 11/7/25. I had a doctor's appointment and found out I was pregnant 11/23/25. I was discussing my leave with HR, and because short-term disability is based on the last missed period or conception (just found this out today), I don't qualify. Since I'm a contractor, I don't get maternity leave, only short-term disability, so I have absolutely nothing.

I can't believe this. I am so angry that they don't go by medical confirmation. Meanwhile, my fiancé gets 8 weeks, and my brother-in-law is getting SIX months of paid leave, while his wife only gets 2 weeks. We had planned to sign a lease for a much larger place this week (we currently live in a 1-bedroom condo with two dogs), but because of this, we will now need to stay put. I'm glad we still have a place to live, but since I won't have any income for at least 6 weeks, we'll have to be even more cramped here.

I know there's more than one reason why the fertility rates are so low here, but sheesh, if we were more pro-birth, maybe people would be inclined to have children.

You knew the dates for open enrollment so why didn't you use your head for something other than a hat rack by either both you and partner using birth control and a condom or simply abstaining so you would not fall pregnant during open enrollment? I agree with the poster up thread who said you were just gaming the system and you lost.

One of the most important, if not the most important, attributes of an adult is accepting responsibility for your decisions when they turn out bad.

Who tf plans their sex life around freaking open enrollment lol.

Actually I agree with the PP. If there are times when you’re uninsured or can’t get pregnant for whatever reason then you should have made sure there’s no chance of getting pregnant. It doesn’t kill you to do that for a couple of months!

It wasn’t a couple of months. I started a 3 month contract ( they extended it months later) in July of 2024, so I enrolled when I started. I didn’t have another open enrollment until this November of 2025.

If you enrolled when you started, then I don't understand the situation. Are you saying that you'd been enrolled in STD since 7/2024, but that they are denying you because you were pregnant when you reenrolled? If that's true and you had continuous covers from 7/2024 then that's ridiculous, and I would fight that. Or did you enroll in 7/2024, and then drop it at the next open enrollment in 11/2024 and pick it up a year later?

I feel very strongly that the system for maternity leave in our country is broken, and we should have some kind of national insurance, or state based insurance that covers this.

However, I also think that if you're in a relationship where pregnancy is a possibility, and you or your partner would continue a pregnancy if it starts, then understanding your employer's maternity benefit or lack thereof is important as you make decisions. The system is messed up, but the issue here isn't that the insurer only covers events that happen during the coverage period. The issue is both political, and the decision of the employer to only offer STD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, as a PP wrote, "What you're describing is bad and the US should offer more." Absolutely true.

That said, within the confines of the system that the OP describes, she isn't entitled to coverage. Consider this hypothetical:

A family doesn't have homeowners insurance. They are on vacation from March 1 through March 31. While on vacation, they decide to purchase homeowners insurance, and do so effective March 15. However, unbeknownst to them, their house burned down on March 10. Are they entitled to coverage for the fire?

Of course not. Insurance companies don't insure retroactive risks, other than in extremely unusual circumstances.

It stinks, for sure. But all of you complaining that OP has been treated unfairly don't know what the eff you are talking about.

Pregnancy shouldn’t be a “risk”. The fathers who get to take paternity leave don’t have to wonder if their period can potentially affect their coverage. Maternal healthcare in the US is absolute crap.

Again, I agree. But it really doesn't matter what "should" be, it matters what actually is. And the fact of the matter is, OP's "employer" did not offer maternity leave other than STD, she initially declined that coverage, and then tried to sign up after the condition for which she wanted coverage already had occurred (whether she knew of it or not).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The number of people out here fighting for the rights of employers to shit all over moms has me despairing that things will ever change. You all sound like Pick Me’s for capitalism.

OP this sucks and is super gross, but try not to let it overshadow your joy. Congratulations!

A “pick me” is a derogatory term. At some point, people have to recognize the world they live in and play by those rules instead of making themselves the victim.

If you are 35 and having intercourse, you could get pregnant. If you work for a company that offers voluntary short term disability, you should sign up because you might need it… not throw a fit and blame society when you fail to sign up for something and it becomes unavailable to you when you need it.

DP.

She shouldn’t have been denied because she didn’t know when she was pregnant. Denying it because they want to go back to a missed period of time of conception is predatory. As another PP said, pregnancy isn’t a pre existing condition, birth is, but not pregnancy.

Dads who get paternal leave don’t have to go through this….

So yes, the system can and absolutely be blamed. Do you know OP could’ve been denied even she had PCOS, previously had post partum depression, infertility issues? Plenty of women get denied even if they signed up on day 1. They look for a reason to deny you.

Does the policy specify this?

If the policy does not specify this, then OP has a claim.

If the policy does specify this, then it means you enroll before you miss a period if you are engaging in period-missing activity. You can't appeal to a "this is predatory" exception and change the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The number of people out here fighting for the rights of employers to shit all over moms has me despairing that things will ever change. You all sound like Pick Me’s for capitalism.

OP this sucks and is super gross, but try not to let it overshadow your joy. Congratulations!

Can two things be true? Can we fight for better benefits and also plan appropriately for the benefits we currently have?

I didn’t opt into short term disability because my policy had a 10 month waiting period for pregnancy. I then calculated how much it would pay out vs. how much I would have to pay in and realized by two years it wouldn’t cost more than it would pay out.

I also knew how to cover my maternity leave so I saved leave to cover it. I signed up for benefits that I researched and made sure worked for me. At the same time I am also a loud advocate for increasing the amount of paid leave my organization offers.

I also choose to work at a lower paying job because it has better benefits. I chose to stay at a job I didn’t like because it had better benefits.