Expecting and I just found out I don't qualify for short term disability. America is not pro-life/pro-birth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how far along were you on November 23?

8 weeks. I took a pregnancy test on 11/1, but because they go off missed period (October 25) or time of conception (October 10-11), I don't qualify.

You can’t buy insurance after you crashed the car, same with disability insurance.

That’s not the case here. She signed up for it unknowingly pregnant. That’s different.

It really isn't. Once again, for those who simply don't get it - it doesn't matter what OP knew, it matters when the qualifying event, as defined in the policy, occurred.

Surely you can see why insurance companies are unwilling to rely on claims of "I didn't know" by people with a significant financial interest in obtaining coverage as the determining factor?

You can't see the forest for the trees.

Don't be purposefully obtuse. Of course the system we have stinks, and should be radically reformed.

But it is the system we currently have, and we all, including OP, have to make sure we are protected within that system.

[Anonymous]

You can't see the forest for the trees.

You don't understand an is–ought distinction and lack the ability to process descriptive & prescriptive issues at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is an enormous policy gap that harms women, children, families, and the economy. We should have universal paid leave.

Countries that have extended maternity leave and benefits also have exponentially high taxes on personal income. To achieve the same in the US the tax would have to be incremental tax increases over a long period of time. Highest tax rate for high earners now is 37%. It would take decades to increase taxes on the Uber rich and it simply is not going to happen.

Mathematically false.

Many countries’ citizens actually pay LESS overall for a far better quality of life. But Americans are too stupid to think beyond “but muh taxes!”

Not a single person or entity is stopping you from paying for OP’s maternity leave. You could start a fund if you wanted. You won’t though, because you’re too stupid to think beyond “but muh government!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is an enormous policy gap that harms women, children, families, and the economy. We should have universal paid leave.

Countries that have extended maternity leave and benefits also have exponentially high taxes on personal income. To achieve the same in the US the tax would have to be incremental tax increases over a long period of time. Highest tax rate for high earners now is 37%. It would take decades to increase taxes on the Uber rich and it simply is not going to happen.

Mathematically false.

Many countries’ citizens actually pay LESS overall for a far better quality of life. But Americans are too stupid to think beyond “but muh taxes!”

Not a single person or entity is stopping you from paying for OP’s maternity leave. You could start a fund if you wanted. You won’t though, because you’re too stupid to think beyond “but muh government!”

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the intellect of your typical corporate bootlicker Republican patriot!

It would be funny if you morons weren’t in charge (and running the country into the ground rather than trying to improve things).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how far along were you on November 23?

8 weeks. I took a pregnancy test on 11/1, but because they go off missed period (October 25) or time of conception (October 10-11), I don't qualify.

You can’t buy insurance after you crashed the car, same with disability insurance.

That’s not the case here. She signed up for it unknowingly pregnant. That’s different.

It really isn't. Once again, for those who simply don't get it - it doesn't matter what OP knew, it matters when the qualifying event, as defined in the policy, occurred.

Surely you can see why insurance companies are unwilling to rely on claims of "I didn't know" by people with a significant financial interest in obtaining coverage as the determining factor?

This is why they need to go off of confirmation of pregnancy, not LMP. A quick search of someone due 7/4 would verify that someone wouldn’t know:

“Estimated timeline for July 4 due date
• Due date: July 4, 2026
• LMP (approx): September 27–30, 2025
• Ovulation / conception: around Oct 10–14, 2025
• Missed period: around Oct 25–28, 2025
• Earliest positive test: Oct 20–24, 2025
• Most common time to find out: late October 2025

Earliest realistic time you could know

👉 Around 3.5–4 weeks pregnant
👉 About October 20–24, 2025”


The poor women who have irregular periods really wouldn’t know. Like I said before, they find reasons to deny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ no one finds out they are pregnant at their doctors appointment. It sounds like you knew you were pregnant, signed up for a short-term disability, delayed your doctors appointment a few weeks and are trying to get sympathy for attempting to game the system. You knew your company did not offer short-term disability. And you got pregnant knowing this and thought you could just sign up before it came to light. I mean it stinks for sure but I also understand the insurance company’s point of view

Blah blah blah blah blah.

The greater point is this country's medical system sucks and we are completely unsympathetic to issues related to working and raising children. She is 100% right that this country is not pro-birth. A working woman shouldn't be sol for maternity leave. PERIOD. Her title is absolutely correct. I was an IT person and not a single place I ever worked was family friendly. High performing women were treated like trash when out on maternity leave and when they came back. I was a great, high performing employee and my customer was so upset when she heard through the grapevine that dh and I were doing fertility treatments to get pregnant that there was actually a meeting with my managers to discuss my desire to have children. It was so inappropriate. So many women where I worked did not have children because of the pressures from the job. If you wanted to move up into management, you would pay for it if you had children.

Op I'm sorry you're facing this. The people accusing you of gaming the system are idiots who can't see the larger problem.

You're only seeing the larger problem and not seeing that she's also trying to game the system we have. The system should change, but getting angry about people who are playing by the rules as they exist now doesn't change anything.

If you want short term disability for pregnancy, pay for it all the years you aren't pregnant. That's how it works now. and that's how any changed system will also work. There's no magical system where you get it without paying.

How is it “gaming” the system if one doesn’t know they’re pregnant by the time of enrollment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so angry.

I am a contractor with benefits, or so I thought. I've been with my job for two years - I started in July 2024. My mom unexpectedly passed a month later, and I had a really, really hard time. I wish I could've had longer than the week I was out to grieve; my mental health took an extreme nose dive for months. So, this year I decided I was going to enroll in short-term disability. Open enrollment was from 10/27/25 - 11/7/25. I had a doctor's appointment and found out I was pregnant 11/23/25. I was discussing my leave with HR, and because short-term disability is based on the last missed period or conception (just found this out today), I don't qualify. Since I'm a contractor, I don't get maternity leave, only short-term disability, so I have absolutely nothing.

I can't believe this. I am so angry that they don't go by medical confirmation. Meanwhile, my fiancé gets 8 weeks, and my brother-in-law is getting SIX months of paid leave, while his wife only gets 2 weeks. We had planned to sign a lease for a much larger place this week (we currently live in a 1-bedroom condo with two dogs), but because of this, we will now need to stay put. I'm glad we still have a place to live, but since I won't have any income for at least 6 weeks, we'll have to be even more cramped here.

I know there's more than one reason why the fertility rates are so low here, but sheesh, if we were more pro-birth, maybe people would be inclined to have children.

You haven't been at your job for two years. That's 20 months. Are you usually this careless with details?

It's also weird that you claim "America is not pro-life/pro-birth" in your rant due to your circumstances while you acknowledge your fiancee and brother-in-law get generous paternal leave.

Also, don't have children out of wedlock. If you were married, you could be on your husband's insurance, since it clearly offers better benefits than you get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how far along were you on November 23?

8 weeks. I took a pregnancy test on 11/1, but because they go off missed period (October 25) or time of conception (October 10-11), I don't qualify.

You can’t buy insurance after you crashed the car, same with disability insurance.

That’s not the case here. She signed up for it unknowingly pregnant. That’s different.

I don’t know that OP was that clear about when she signed up. Open enrollment started 10/25 and she knew in less than a week she was pregnant.

Thank you for repeating what I said. She didn’t know she was pregnant when open enrollment happened….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so angry.

I am a contractor with benefits, or so I thought. I've been with my job for two years - I started in July 2024. My mom unexpectedly passed a month later, and I had a really, really hard time. I wish I could've had longer than the week I was out to grieve; my mental health took an extreme nose dive for months. So, this year I decided I was going to enroll in short-term disability. Open enrollment was from 10/27/25 - 11/7/25. I had a doctor's appointment and found out I was pregnant 11/23/25. I was discussing my leave with HR, and because short-term disability is based on the last missed period or conception (just found this out today), I don't qualify. Since I'm a contractor, I don't get maternity leave, only short-term disability, so I have absolutely nothing.

I can't believe this. I am so angry that they don't go by medical confirmation. Meanwhile, my fiancé gets 8 weeks, and my brother-in-law is getting SIX months of paid leave, while his wife only gets 2 weeks. We had planned to sign a lease for a much larger place this week (we currently live in a 1-bedroom condo with two dogs), but because of this, we will now need to stay put. I'm glad we still have a place to live, but since I won't have any income for at least 6 weeks, we'll have to be even more cramped here.

I know there's more than one reason why the fertility rates are so low here, but sheesh, if we were more pro-birth, maybe people would be inclined to have children.

You haven't been at your job for two years. That's 20 months. Are you usually this careless with details?

It's also weird that you claim "America is not pro-life/pro-birth" in your rant due to your circumstances while you acknowledge your fiancee and brother-in-law get generous paternal leave.

Also, don't have children out of wedlock. If you were married, you could be on your husband's insurance, since it clearly offers better benefits than you get.

America seems to be pro-not the person doing the actual birthing and laboring and healing but mmmk. Just like when maternal and paternal policies are the exact same at companies. They should not be. One is bonding. One is recovery plus bonding and should start 2-4 weeks prior to delivery and also include payments for attending prenatal care that should not be deducted from sick and annual leave. Also adoptive parents should be just bonding since no one employed is doing the actual pregnancy and labor part and a surrogate or woman giving up for adoption should receive recovery leave but not bonding.

Lastly- she cant be on her husband STD policy. Thats not how it works. Health insurance and STD are two separate policies. You can have a subscriber plus spouse and/or child(ren) on a health insurance policy. You cannot add a SPOUSE to a husbands work-related STD policy. STD policy is for the employees's medical conditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so angry.

I am a contractor with benefits, or so I thought. I've been with my job for two years - I started in July 2024. My mom unexpectedly passed a month later, and I had a really, really hard time. I wish I could've had longer than the week I was out to grieve; my mental health took an extreme nose dive for months. So, this year I decided I was going to enroll in short-term disability. Open enrollment was from 10/27/25 - 11/7/25. I had a doctor's appointment and found out I was pregnant 11/23/25. I was discussing my leave with HR, and because short-term disability is based on the last missed period or conception (just found this out today), I don't qualify. Since I'm a contractor, I don't get maternity leave, only short-term disability, so I have absolutely nothing.

I can't believe this. I am so angry that they don't go by medical confirmation. Meanwhile, my fiancé gets 8 weeks, and my brother-in-law is getting SIX months of paid leave, while his wife only gets 2 weeks. We had planned to sign a lease for a much larger place this week (we currently live in a 1-bedroom condo with two dogs), but because of this, we will now need to stay put. I'm glad we still have a place to live, but since I won't have any income for at least 6 weeks, we'll have to be even more cramped here.

I know there's more than one reason why the fertility rates are so low here, but sheesh, if we were more pro-birth, maybe people would be inclined to have children.

You haven't been at your job for two years. That's 20 months. Are you usually this careless with details?

It's also weird that you claim "America is not pro-life/pro-birth" in your rant due to your circumstances while you acknowledge your fiancee and brother-in-law get generous paternal leave.

Also, don't have children out of wedlock. If you were married, you could be on your husband's insurance, since it clearly offers better benefits than you get.

Rounding it up two years versus twenty months is careless? Get over yourself. Speaking of details, she’s already said she has insurance - are you usually this careless when reading details?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so angry.

I am a contractor with benefits, or so I thought. I've been with my job for two years - I started in July 2024. My mom unexpectedly passed a month later, and I had a really, really hard time. I wish I could've had longer than the week I was out to grieve; my mental health took an extreme nose dive for months. So, this year I decided I was going to enroll in short-term disability. Open enrollment was from 10/27/25 - 11/7/25. I had a doctor's appointment and found out I was pregnant 11/23/25. I was discussing my leave with HR, and because short-term disability is based on the last missed period or conception (just found this out today), I don't qualify. Since I'm a contractor, I don't get maternity leave, only short-term disability, so I have absolutely nothing.

I can't believe this. I am so angry that they don't go by medical confirmation. Meanwhile, my fiancé gets 8 weeks, and my brother-in-law is getting SIX months of paid leave, while his wife only gets 2 weeks. We had planned to sign a lease for a much larger place this week (we currently live in a 1-bedroom condo with two dogs), but because of this, we will now need to stay put. I'm glad we still have a place to live, but since I won't have any income for at least 6 weeks, we'll have to be even more cramped here.

I know there's more than one reason why the fertility rates are so low here, but sheesh, if we were more pro-birth, maybe people would be inclined to have children.

You haven't been at your job for two years. That's 20 months. Are you usually this careless with details?

It's also weird that you claim "America is not pro-life/pro-birth" in your rant due to your circumstances while you acknowledge your fiancee and brother-in-law get generous paternal leave.

Also, don't have children out of wedlock. If you were married, you could be on your husband's insurance, since it clearly offers better benefits than you get.

Rounding it up two years versus twenty months is careless? Get over yourself. Speaking of details, she’s already said she has insurance - are you usually this careless when reading details?

Oh, and if you were so into details you’d know that you still wouldn’t get short-term-disability just because you’re married. How could you be so careless and miss that important detail??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never get over all the shills here for insurance companies and employers effing over employees. Nothing will ever change because too many people have bought into the idiocies of the system

I will never get over people who call others “shills” for actually reading the policy information and playing by the rules. You sound hysterical.

It's a beyond dumb policy and please, come up with a new word. Hysterical is so overused especially when you're not using it correctly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ no one finds out they are pregnant at their doctors appointment. It sounds like you knew you were pregnant, signed up for a short-term disability, delayed your doctors appointment a few weeks and are trying to get sympathy for attempting to game the system. You knew your company did not offer short-term disability. And you got pregnant knowing this and thought you could just sign up before it came to light. I mean it stinks for sure but I also understand the insurance company’s point of view

Blah blah blah blah blah.

The greater point is this country's medical system sucks and we are completely unsympathetic to issues related to working and raising children. She is 100% right that this country is not pro-birth. A working woman shouldn't be sol for maternity leave. PERIOD. Her title is absolutely correct. I was an IT person and not a single place I ever worked was family friendly. High performing women were treated like trash when out on maternity leave and when they came back. I was a great, high performing employee and my customer was so upset when she heard through the grapevine that dh and I were doing fertility treatments to get pregnant that there was actually a meeting with my managers to discuss my desire to have children. It was so inappropriate. So many women where I worked did not have children because of the pressures from the job. If you wanted to move up into management, you would pay for it if you had children.

Op I'm sorry you're facing this. The people accusing you of gaming the system are idiots who can't see the larger problem.

You're only seeing the larger problem and not seeing that she's also trying to game the system we have. The system should change, but getting angry about people who are playing by the rules as they exist now doesn't change anything.

If you want short term disability for pregnancy, pay for it all the years you aren't pregnant. That's how it works now. and that's how any changed system will also work. There's no magical system where you get it without paying.

How is it “gaming” the system if one doesn’t know they’re pregnant by the time of enrollment?

DP

I thought I read a few pages back OP was eligible for enrollment last year. Was OP eligible last year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ no one finds out they are pregnant at their doctors appointment. It sounds like you knew you were pregnant, signed up for a short-term disability, delayed your doctors appointment a few weeks and are trying to get sympathy for attempting to game the system. You knew your company did not offer short-term disability. And you got pregnant knowing this and thought you could just sign up before it came to light. I mean it stinks for sure but I also understand the insurance company’s point of view

Blah blah blah blah blah.

The greater point is this country's medical system sucks and we are completely unsympathetic to issues related to working and raising children. She is 100% right that this country is not pro-birth. A working woman shouldn't be sol for maternity leave. PERIOD. Her title is absolutely correct. I was an IT person and not a single place I ever worked was family friendly. High performing women were treated like trash when out on maternity leave and when they came back. I was a great, high performing employee and my customer was so upset when she heard through the grapevine that dh and I were doing fertility treatments to get pregnant that there was actually a meeting with my managers to discuss my desire to have children. It was so inappropriate. So many women where I worked did not have children because of the pressures from the job. If you wanted to move up into management, you would pay for it if you had children.

Op I'm sorry you're facing this. The people accusing you of gaming the system are idiots who can't see the larger problem.

You're only seeing the larger problem and not seeing that she's also trying to game the system we have. The system should change, but getting angry about people who are playing by the rules as they exist now doesn't change anything.

If you want short term disability for pregnancy, pay for it all the years you aren't pregnant. That's how it works now. and that's how any changed system will also work. There's no magical system where you get it without paying.

How is it “gaming” the system if one doesn’t know they’re pregnant by the time of enrollment?

DP

I thought I read a few pages back OP was eligible for enrollment last year. Was OP eligible last year?

Yes, and she said because after the death of her mother (she wished she could’ve taken more than a week off due to her mental decline) she decided to opt into STD. The timing of STD and her being pregnant just happened to be unfortunate. The earliest she could’ve found out was late October (based on her due date), and enrollment was 10/25. That’s not gaming, just poor luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ no one finds out they are pregnant at their doctors appointment. It sounds like you knew you were pregnant, signed up for a short-term disability, delayed your doctors appointment a few weeks and are trying to get sympathy for attempting to game the system. You knew your company did not offer short-term disability. And you got pregnant knowing this and thought you could just sign up before it came to light. I mean it stinks for sure but I also understand the insurance company’s point of view

Blah blah blah blah blah.

The greater point is this country's medical system sucks and we are completely unsympathetic to issues related to working and raising children. She is 100% right that this country is not pro-birth. A working woman shouldn't be sol for maternity leave. PERIOD. Her title is absolutely correct. I was an IT person and not a single place I ever worked was family friendly. High performing women were treated like trash when out on maternity leave and when they came back. I was a great, high performing employee and my customer was so upset when she heard through the grapevine that dh and I were doing fertility treatments to get pregnant that there was actually a meeting with my managers to discuss my desire to have children. It was so inappropriate. So many women where I worked did not have children because of the pressures from the job. If you wanted to move up into management, you would pay for it if you had children.

Op I'm sorry you're facing this. The people accusing you of gaming the system are idiots who can't see the larger problem.

You're only seeing the larger problem and not seeing that she's also trying to game the system we have. The system should change, but getting angry about people who are playing by the rules as they exist now doesn't change anything.

If you want short term disability for pregnancy, pay for it all the years you aren't pregnant. That's how it works now. and that's how any changed system will also work. There's no magical system where you get it without paying.

How is it “gaming” the system if one doesn’t know they’re pregnant by the time of enrollment?

DP

I thought I read a few pages back OP was eligible for enrollment last year. Was OP eligible last year?

Yes, and she said because after the death of her mother (she wished she could’ve taken more than a week off due to her mental decline) she decided to opt into STD. The timing of STD and her being pregnant just happened to be unfortunate. The earliest she could’ve found out was late October (based on her due date), and enrollment was 10/25. That’s not gaming, just poor luck.

Meaning, FY 2024. The previous cycle. But I could have misread.