Neighbors want to hang out. I don't, but want to be on friendly terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:for gods sakes, just go to a social event every once in a while. your time is not so precious that you can't do two or three one hour social events with your neighbors every year

Actually, my time is that precious. I am not wasting time I could spend with my kids. I work a lot. My time is for me and my family. That is it. I don’t do neighbor events.

There are so many people living lifestyles like this now. My neighborhood is full of dual income workers who seemingly only hang out with their immediate family. It’s such an isolated way to live and everyone is missing out.

It’s such a stark difference from the lifestyle of my parents or grandparents where families socialized and kids ran around.

People seem so unhappy now and it makes sense. If you can’t even get together with a neighbor there is something very wrong.

I’m Gen X and I didn’t have that kind of lifestyle when I was a kid; my baby boomer parents did. Get with the times. I only see my own friends three times a year and we live locally. I don’t have time to see neighbors. I don’t give a crap about neighbors. I have my own friends I can’t see and I want my weekends with my kids. I don’t have other time to waste on nonsense.

Is this a fun lifestyle? I can’t imagine that it is. Only hanging out with your immediate family and seeing friends once in a blue moon sounds very isolating. Are you spending a lot of time on the internet? There’s so much anxiety and depression and I can’t imagine it’s not partly caused from a lifestyle with absolutely no sense of community. Is your spouse ok? What about your kids? I know a woman living like this and her spouse is miserable.

Have you given any thought to the forces that might be causing so many people to live like this? Or do you just like to criticize?

I’m genuinely curious what is driving someone to only hang out with their family, and see friends 3x a year. There seems to be a lot of this going on and my guess is it’s the internet.

DP. This past weekend I went to a baseball game with immediate family, took kid to a long b'day party (not drop off), went to church, hosted a playdate at our house, cleaned the house and got groceries, prepped food for the week, and called my parents and an old friend of mine. I actually did see my own friends Sunday night, but that meant DH had to stay home so I could go out. We are lucky grandparents are out of town right now because we are overdue for a visit with them.
That all involved a lot of socializing, but not a lot of time for stuff I actually want to do. I didn't even get to all the chores I need to do, let alone sit down and watch a TV show with DH. There's definitely not time to wedge in neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for gods sakes, just go to a social event every once in a while. your time is not so precious that you can't do two or three one hour social events with your neighbors every year

Actually, my time is that precious. I am not wasting time I could spend with my kids. I work a lot. My time is for me and my family. That is it. I don’t do neighbor events.

There are so many people living lifestyles like this now. My neighborhood is full of dual income workers who seemingly only hang out with their immediate family. It’s such an isolated way to live and everyone is missing out.

It’s such a stark difference from the lifestyle of my parents or grandparents where families socialized and kids ran around.

People seem so unhappy now and it makes sense. If you can’t even get together with a neighbor there is something very wrong.

I’m Gen X and I didn’t have that kind of lifestyle when I was a kid; my baby boomer parents did. Get with the times. I only see my own friends three times a year and we live locally. I don’t have time to see neighbors. I don’t give a crap about neighbors. I have my own friends I can’t see and I want my weekends with my kids. I don’t have other time to waste on nonsense.

Is this a fun lifestyle? I can’t imagine that it is. Only hanging out with your immediate family and seeing friends once in a blue moon sounds very isolating. Are you spending a lot of time on the internet? There’s so much anxiety and depression and I can’t imagine it’s not partly caused from a lifestyle with absolutely no sense of community. Is your spouse ok? What about your kids? I know a woman living like this and her spouse is miserable.

Have you given any thought to the forces that might be causing so many people to live like this? Or do you just like to criticize?

I’m genuinely curious what is driving someone to only hang out with their family, and see friends 3x a year. There seems to be a lot of this going on and my guess is it’s the internet.

DP. This past weekend I went to a baseball game with immediate family, took kid to a long b'day party (not drop off), went to church, hosted a playdate at our house, cleaned the house and got groceries, prepped food for the week, and called my parents and an old friend of mine. I actually did see my own friends Sunday night, but that meant DH had to stay home so I could go out. We are lucky grandparents are out of town right now because we are overdue for a visit with them.
That all involved a lot of socializing, but not a lot of time for stuff I actually want to do. I didn't even get to all the chores I need to do, let alone sit down and watch a TV show with DH. There's definitely not time to wedge in neighbors.

So…do you go to a baseball game and a non-drop off birthday party every weekend (is your kid 3 or younger?). Because that’s 8+ hours of time that just opened.

Nobody is talking about hanging with the neighbors every weekend…just every now and then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for gods sakes, just go to a social event every once in a while. your time is not so precious that you can't do two or three one hour social events with your neighbors every year

Actually, my time is that precious. I am not wasting time I could spend with my kids. I work a lot. My time is for me and my family. That is it. I don’t do neighbor events.

There are so many people living lifestyles like this now. My neighborhood is full of dual income workers who seemingly only hang out with their immediate family. It’s such an isolated way to live and everyone is missing out.

It’s such a stark difference from the lifestyle of my parents or grandparents where families socialized and kids ran around.

People seem so unhappy now and it makes sense. If you can’t even get together with a neighbor there is something very wrong.

I’m Gen X and I didn’t have that kind of lifestyle when I was a kid; my baby boomer parents did. Get with the times. I only see my own friends three times a year and we live locally. I don’t have time to see neighbors. I don’t give a crap about neighbors. I have my own friends I can’t see and I want my weekends with my kids. I don’t have other time to waste on nonsense.

Is this a fun lifestyle? I can’t imagine that it is. Only hanging out with your immediate family and seeing friends once in a blue moon sounds very isolating. Are you spending a lot of time on the internet? There’s so much anxiety and depression and I can’t imagine it’s not partly caused from a lifestyle with absolutely no sense of community. Is your spouse ok? What about your kids? I know a woman living like this and her spouse is miserable.

Have you given any thought to the forces that might be causing so many people to live like this? Or do you just like to criticize?

I’m genuinely curious what is driving someone to only hang out with their family, and see friends 3x a year. There seems to be a lot of this going on and my guess is it’s the internet.

DP. This past weekend I went to a baseball game with immediate family, took kid to a long b'day party (not drop off), went to church, hosted a playdate at our house, cleaned the house and got groceries, prepped food for the week, and called my parents and an old friend of mine. I actually did see my own friends Sunday night, but that meant DH had to stay home so I could go out. We are lucky grandparents are out of town right now because we are overdue for a visit with them.
That all involved a lot of socializing, but not a lot of time for stuff I actually want to do. I didn't even get to all the chores I need to do, let alone sit down and watch a TV show with DH. There's definitely not time to wedge in neighbors.

So…do you go to a baseball game and a non-drop off birthday party every weekend (is your kid 3 or younger?). Because that’s 8+ hours of time that just opened.

Nobody is talking about hanging with the neighbors every weekend…just every now and then.

We do something, yes. Maybe it's a museum instead of a game, or the pool instead of a party. We volunteer. We camp. I've got a bunch of gardening/weeding that needs attention but I never have time.

It's fine if you want to prioritize neighbors, but the idea that life is empty if you can't find time for neighbors is just silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My main reason for not getting involved with neighbors (or anyone who I can't cleanly cut all ties with if needed) is to protect against the risk of entangled with someone like the lunatics commenting on this thread.

Precisely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for gods sakes, just go to a social event every once in a while. your time is not so precious that you can't do two or three one hour social events with your neighbors every year

Actually, my time is that precious. I am not wasting time I could spend with my kids. I work a lot. My time is for me and my family. That is it. I don’t do neighbor events.

There are so many people living lifestyles like this now. My neighborhood is full of dual income workers who seemingly only hang out with their immediate family. It’s such an isolated way to live and everyone is missing out.

It’s such a stark difference from the lifestyle of my parents or grandparents where families socialized and kids ran around.

People seem so unhappy now and it makes sense. If you can’t even get together with a neighbor there is something very wrong.

I’m Gen X and I didn’t have that kind of lifestyle when I was a kid; my baby boomer parents did. Get with the times. I only see my own friends three times a year and we live locally. I don’t have time to see neighbors. I don’t give a crap about neighbors. I have my own friends I can’t see and I want my weekends with my kids. I don’t have other time to waste on nonsense.

Is this a fun lifestyle? I can’t imagine that it is. Only hanging out with your immediate family and seeing friends once in a blue moon sounds very isolating. Are you spending a lot of time on the internet? There’s so much anxiety and depression and I can’t imagine it’s not partly caused from a lifestyle with absolutely no sense of community. Is your spouse ok? What about your kids? I know a woman living like this and her spouse is miserable.

Have you given any thought to the forces that might be causing so many people to live like this? Or do you just like to criticize?

I’m genuinely curious what is driving someone to only hang out with their family, and see friends 3x a year. There seems to be a lot of this going on and my guess is it’s the internet.

DP. This past weekend I went to a baseball game with immediate family, took kid to a long b'day party (not drop off), went to church, hosted a playdate at our house, cleaned the house and got groceries, prepped food for the week, and called my parents and an old friend of mine. I actually did see my own friends Sunday night, but that meant DH had to stay home so I could go out. We are lucky grandparents are out of town right now because we are overdue for a visit with them.
That all involved a lot of socializing, but not a lot of time for stuff I actually want to do. I didn't even get to all the chores I need to do, let alone sit down and watch a TV show with DH. There's definitely not time to wedge in neighbors.

So…do you go to a baseball game and a non-drop off birthday party every weekend (is your kid 3 or younger?). Because that’s 8+ hours of time that just opened.

Nobody is talking about hanging with the neighbors every weekend…just every now and then.

We do something, yes. Maybe it's a museum instead of a game, or the pool instead of a party. We volunteer. We camp. I've got a bunch of gardening/weeding that needs attention but I never have time.

It's fine if you want to prioritize neighbors, but the idea that life is empty if you can't find time for neighbors is just silly.

Who is prioritizing neighbors if it’s a couple of times per year?

You don’t have the time for weeding because it’s a chore that nobody wants to do…you have plenty of time to do it but like all humans, you would rather do something else.

Like you will just purposely skip an annual block party because you just have to go to a museum or the pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for gods sakes, just go to a social event every once in a while. your time is not so precious that you can't do two or three one hour social events with your neighbors every year

Actually, my time is that precious. I am not wasting time I could spend with my kids. I work a lot. My time is for me and my family. That is it. I don’t do neighbor events.

Your kids are part of the neighborhood, are they not?

No. They go to a private school. We don’t to neighborhood stuff. I grew up in a rural area. I hate the suburbs. No kids their age anyway. We have our own friends.

So…you picked a house in a location you hate where it seems you spent zero effort to see if there were kids of similar age (a pretty common thing to do…or you look for couples that seem like they also are ready to start a family)…did you also make sure it feeds into a bad school district and is located next to a garbage dump?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for gods sakes, just go to a social event every once in a while. your time is not so precious that you can't do two or three one hour social events with your neighbors every year

Actually, my time is that precious. I am not wasting time I could spend with my kids. I work a lot. My time is for me and my family. That is it. I don’t do neighbor events.

There are so many people living lifestyles like this now. My neighborhood is full of dual income workers who seemingly only hang out with their immediate family. It’s such an isolated way to live and everyone is missing out.

It’s such a stark difference from the lifestyle of my parents or grandparents where families socialized and kids ran around.

People seem so unhappy now and it makes sense. If you can’t even get together with a neighbor there is something very wrong.

I’m Gen X and I didn’t have that kind of lifestyle when I was a kid; my baby boomer parents did. Get with the times. I only see my own friends three times a year and we live locally. I don’t have time to see neighbors. I don’t give a crap about neighbors. I have my own friends I can’t see and I want my weekends with my kids. I don’t have other time to waste on nonsense.

Is this a fun lifestyle? I can’t imagine that it is. Only hanging out with your immediate family and seeing friends once in a blue moon sounds very isolating. Are you spending a lot of time on the internet? There’s so much anxiety and depression and I can’t imagine it’s not partly caused from a lifestyle with absolutely no sense of community. Is your spouse ok? What about your kids? I know a woman living like this and her spouse is miserable.

Have you given any thought to the forces that might be causing so many people to live like this? Or do you just like to criticize?

I’m genuinely curious what is driving someone to only hang out with their family, and see friends 3x a year. There seems to be a lot of this going on and my guess is it’s the internet.

DP. This past weekend I went to a baseball game with immediate family, took kid to a long b'day party (not drop off), went to church, hosted a playdate at our house, cleaned the house and got groceries, prepped food for the week, and called my parents and an old friend of mine. I actually did see my own friends Sunday night, but that meant DH had to stay home so I could go out. We are lucky grandparents are out of town right now because we are overdue for a visit with them.
That all involved a lot of socializing, but not a lot of time for stuff I actually want to do. I didn't even get to all the chores I need to do, let alone sit down and watch a TV show with DH. There's definitely not time to wedge in neighbors.

So…do you go to a baseball game and a non-drop off birthday party every weekend (is your kid 3 or younger?). Because that’s 8+ hours of time that just opened.

Nobody is talking about hanging with the neighbors every weekend…just every now and then.

We do something, yes. Maybe it's a museum instead of a game, or the pool instead of a party. We volunteer. We camp. I've got a bunch of gardening/weeding that needs attention but I never have time.

It's fine if you want to prioritize neighbors, but the idea that life is empty if you can't find time for neighbors is just silly.

Who is prioritizing neighbors if it’s a couple of times per year?

You don’t have the time for weeding because it’s a chore that nobody wants to do…you have plenty of time to do it but like all humans, you would rather do something else.

Like you will just purposely skip an annual block party because you just have to go to a museum or the pool?

Yes. I have limited time for museums and the pool, so we go when we can. I would never want to skip that time with my family in order to make small talk with my neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for gods sakes, just go to a social event every once in a while. your time is not so precious that you can't do two or three one hour social events with your neighbors every year

Actually, my time is that precious. I am not wasting time I could spend with my kids. I work a lot. My time is for me and my family. That is it. I don’t do neighbor events.

There are so many people living lifestyles like this now. My neighborhood is full of dual income workers who seemingly only hang out with their immediate family. It’s such an isolated way to live and everyone is missing out.

It’s such a stark difference from the lifestyle of my parents or grandparents where families socialized and kids ran around.

People seem so unhappy now and it makes sense. If you can’t even get together with a neighbor there is something very wrong.

I’m Gen X and I didn’t have that kind of lifestyle when I was a kid; my baby boomer parents did. Get with the times. I only see my own friends three times a year and we live locally. I don’t have time to see neighbors. I don’t give a crap about neighbors. I have my own friends I can’t see and I want my weekends with my kids. I don’t have other time to waste on nonsense.

Is this a fun lifestyle? I can’t imagine that it is. Only hanging out with your immediate family and seeing friends once in a blue moon sounds very isolating. Are you spending a lot of time on the internet? There’s so much anxiety and depression and I can’t imagine it’s not partly caused from a lifestyle with absolutely no sense of community. Is your spouse ok? What about your kids? I know a woman living like this and her spouse is miserable.

Have you given any thought to the forces that might be causing so many people to live like this? Or do you just like to criticize?

I’m genuinely curious what is driving someone to only hang out with their family, and see friends 3x a year. There seems to be a lot of this going on and my guess is it’s the internet.

DP. This past weekend I went to a baseball game with immediate family, took kid to a long b'day party (not drop off), went to church, hosted a playdate at our house, cleaned the house and got groceries, prepped food for the week, and called my parents and an old friend of mine. I actually did see my own friends Sunday night, but that meant DH had to stay home so I could go out. We are lucky grandparents are out of town right now because we are overdue for a visit with them.
That all involved a lot of socializing, but not a lot of time for stuff I actually want to do. I didn't even get to all the chores I need to do, let alone sit down and watch a TV show with DH. There's definitely not time to wedge in neighbors.

So…do you go to a baseball game and a non-drop off birthday party every weekend (is your kid 3 or younger?). Because that’s 8+ hours of time that just opened.

Nobody is talking about hanging with the neighbors every weekend…just every now and then.

We do something, yes. Maybe it's a museum instead of a game, or the pool instead of a party. We volunteer. We camp. I've got a bunch of gardening/weeding that needs attention but I never have time.

It's fine if you want to prioritize neighbors, but the idea that life is empty if you can't find time for neighbors is just silly.

Who is prioritizing neighbors if it’s a couple of times per year?

You don’t have the time for weeding because it’s a chore that nobody wants to do…you have plenty of time to do it but like all humans, you would rather do something else.

Like you will just purposely skip an annual block party because you just have to go to a museum or the pool?

Yes. I have limited time for museums and the pool, so we go when we can. I would never want to skip that time with my family in order to make small talk with my neighbors.

So you aren’t too busy…you just don’t want to do it.

It’s like the parents that make every 3:30 pm baseball game (of which there are a ton)…but they are too “busy”
to attend back to school or other school events.

[Anonymous]

small talk is like 3 sentences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:small talk is like 3 sentences

For 30 minutes if that’s all you want to do…but that’s 30 less minutes I have for precious moments at the pool.

[Anonymous]

Didn't realize there is a hidden rule that you must attend neighbors/neighborhood functions

You must collect their mail and packages

That people purchase homes in areas bc their friends live there

This thread should def go under the Real Estate thread...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, thanks. No kids involved, but I'm mid-life/mid-career and they're all older. As far as favors, I'm comfortably in the black on that ledger and happy to continue that way. I don't mind helping, and I don't need help right now but you never know.

Without starting too much of a debate, I do not want to go to a series of dinners where all the conversation is either politics or what I should do to improve my front yard. They are pushy about both, and repeatedly changing the topic doesn't work. So I want to wave, say Hi! and go on with my day.

I am introvert who lives in a terrific social street with wonderful people. The obvious answer to your situation is that you don’t like your neighbors. It’s tough to get through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think being anti-social and spending a lot of time on DCUM are highly correlated.

+100. The answers on relationships are always skewed because of this issue.

[Anonymous]

There seems to be an exceedingly high number of introverts on this site in general because I’ve never encountered such a high percentage of introverts in the real world.

But also in typical DC fashion, everyone is simply “too busy” to possibly have time to get to know their neighbors because of their own jobs, nuclear families, etc. as if no one else juggles a job and family and activities. Funny how many obligations these introverts seem to have.

So many truly antisocial people but then there will be thread upon thread of how people have no network to help them with anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There seems to be an exceedingly high number of introverts on this site in general because I’ve never encountered such a high percentage of introverts in the real world.

But also in typical DC fashion, everyone is simply “too busy” to possibly have time to get to know their neighbors because of their own jobs, nuclear families, etc. as if no one else juggles a job and family and activities. Funny how many obligations these introverts seem to have.

So many truly antisocial people but then there will be thread upon thread of how people have no network to help them with anything.

You are confusing being an introvert and being antisocial. There are a decent number of introverts in DC and seem to be in higher numbers in certain professions (eg, lawyer). But DCUM attracts a high number of antisocial people.