Unpopular opinion - elective c-sections

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our docs need to offer more options than lie in your back and push or those crappy squat bars. Poorly guided pushing and improper postures are a HUGE part of why we are sustaining injuries during birth. It’s not all if it but man….there is a better way.

I birthed 3 babies with midwives in a hospital and was able to roll around with a peanut ball.

Yes but your experience is only as good as the nurses and your providers when it comes down to the days of labor. And you dont always get who you want during labor.
This should be normal but its a not a normal experience. Its just like the hospitals that promote tubs, monitors that can go with you, etc. but then dont end up having those "working" on the day of your labor. Or that you dont "qualify" to use them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe anyone would opt for a c-section if it wasn't necessary. Cutting through several layers, including muscle, to deliver the baby. The recovery is difficult and painful.

+1

I have no strong opinion on women being able to elect a C section without any medical indication, but I find it an odd choice. I had 3 babies vaginally and even with needing some pelvic floor therapy at one point, my recovery was remarkably easier than my friends who had C sections (esp multiple times). I’m a bit softer in the middle, but mostly things are back to normal (I also lucked out with no stretch marks or anything). No c section shelf or scar. I was able to get up and shower/walk around within a few hours of giving birth each time.

I think women are strong an amazing for literally having their bodies cut open to bring their children into this world, but let’s not downplay that it is major surgery.

Someone who had an easy vaginal birth would have this opinion. Speak to women who had horrific vaginal births that damaged them permanently and you will hear a different perspective. A good friend of mine who had a C section for breech for her first went on to try for a VBAC. She pushed for hours, they used forceps and gave her an episiotomy, and she ended up with anal incontinence. She was enraged how much more difficult her vaginal was and how she felt lied to that a VBAC was pushed so hard on her and that she was told her recovery would be easier than her c section. After her C section she was running an hour a day. She’s now years after her other birth and is planning a corrective surgery and deals daily with incontinence and pain, and says she and her husband barely can have sex because it’s too painful. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

I brought a yoga ball and was rolling around on it in labor. A gaggle of med students came and stared at me. They said they had never seen anyone do that. The nurse asked me about 4 times an hour if I was ready for my epidural and when I told her I wanted natural childbirth she said "I've only ever seen Mexican ladies do it that way."
Ended up with a C section.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe anyone would opt for a c-section if it wasn't necessary. Cutting through several layers, including muscle, to deliver the baby. The recovery is difficult and painful.

+1

I have no strong opinion on women being able to elect a C section without any medical indication, but I find it an odd choice. I had 3 babies vaginally and even with needing some pelvic floor therapy at one point, my recovery was remarkably easier than my friends who had C sections (esp multiple times). I’m a bit softer in the middle, but mostly things are back to normal (I also lucked out with no stretch marks or anything). No c section shelf or scar. I was able to get up and shower/walk around within a few hours of giving birth each time.

I think women are strong an amazing for literally having their bodies cut open to bring their children into this world, but let’s not downplay that it is major surgery.

Someone who had an easy vaginal birth would have this opinion. Speak to women who had horrific vaginal births that damaged them permanently and you will hear a different perspective. A good friend of mine who had a C section for breech for her first went on to try for a VBAC. She pushed for hours, they used forceps and gave her an episiotomy, and she ended up with anal incontinence. She was enraged how much more difficult her vaginal was and how she felt lied to that a VBAC was pushed so hard on her and that she was told her recovery would be easier than her c section. After her C section she was running an hour a day. She’s now years after her other birth and is planning a corrective surgery and deals daily with incontinence and pain, and says she and her husband barely can have sex because it’s too painful. YMMV.

I mean, she was lied to. A lot of doctors won’t even do VBAC. I’d be pissed too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe anyone would opt for a c-section if it wasn't necessary. Cutting through several layers, including muscle, to deliver the baby. The recovery is difficult and painful.

+1

I have no strong opinion on women being able to elect a C section without any medical indication, but I find it an odd choice. I had 3 babies vaginally and even with needing some pelvic floor therapy at one point, my recovery was remarkably easier than my friends who had C sections (esp multiple times). I’m a bit softer in the middle, but mostly things are back to normal (I also lucked out with no stretch marks or anything). No c section shelf or scar. I was able to get up and shower/walk around within a few hours of giving birth each time.

I think women are strong an amazing for literally having their bodies cut open to bring their children into this world, but let’s not downplay that it is major surgery.

Someone who had an easy vaginal birth would have this opinion. Speak to women who had horrific vaginal births that damaged them permanently and you will hear a different perspective. A good friend of mine who had a C section for breech for her first went on to try for a VBAC. She pushed for hours, they used forceps and gave her an episiotomy, and she ended up with anal incontinence. She was enraged how much more difficult her vaginal was and how she felt lied to that a VBAC was pushed so hard on her and that she was told her recovery would be easier than her c section. After her C section she was running an hour a day. She’s now years after her other birth and is planning a corrective surgery and deals daily with incontinence and pain, and says she and her husband barely can have sex because it’s too painful. YMMV.

Well, yes, that’s one of the worst possible scenarios. I also know people who had successful VBACs without complications. It’s too bad she was pressured to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can choose to spend an extra night in the hospital but most women don't.

Is it really only one extra night? It’s been a while but I recall it was two days for vaginal and 5 days for a c-section.

Legally insurance companies cant restrict payment/coverage for less than 48 hours for vaginal or 96 for csection.

Regardless womens healthcare is always underwhelming. You can stay for 4 days but theres no one to help you get out of bed or bring the baby to you etc unless you have family or friends staying with you. From my understanding only the women are considered the patient of the nurse not women plus baby and the ratios for post-op for any other surgery are way less than with postpartum moms. Nurses can correct me if I am wrong.

My DH was at Hopkins at had nurses constantly at his bedside, checking in, helping him, etc with no surgery. Post op csection after 2 days labor....it was deserted and wild wild west. You get poked and stabbed and massaged but thats about it.

This.

I avoided C-Section because it’s contraindicated for my medical history other than a life or death emergency. But if I knew how absolutely appalling postpartum care is, I would have been even more adamant. In what other possible universe is a patient responsible for the feeding and toileting of another patient hours or minutes after surgery/birth???

I will never ever forget being in tears waiting for the nurses to come to bring me to the bathroom after I fainted the first time unaccompanied and they put me on a fall warning (had they read the chart I would have been on the fall warning to begin with…). The idea that I’d have been waiting that long pushing a button for a post-surgical complication gives me chills.

Thank you for saying this. I thought I was taking crazy pills being the only person to notice. My DH was excluded from the post-partum floor because he wouldn't take a certain safe and effective intervention. I had 2 babies via C section and no help, other than the nurses. I left AMA after 24 hours both times. Literally nobody cared in the hospital. Really disturbing experience how little nurses and doctors care. You're just one less person buzzing the call button, buh bye, don't let the door hit you on the @$$.

I figured out how to raise the bed all the way, which made it much easier for me to retrieve the baby from the bassinet. The nurse b-----d me out for doing that. I was literally paralyzed from the waste down and expected to feed and diaper an hour's old infant. Don't even get me started on the sleep deprivation torture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can choose to spend an extra night in the hospital but most women don't.

Is it really only one extra night? It’s been a while but I recall it was two days for vaginal and 5 days for a c-section.

Legally insurance companies cant restrict payment/coverage for less than 48 hours for vaginal or 96 for csection.

Regardless womens healthcare is always underwhelming. You can stay for 4 days but theres no one to help you get out of bed or bring the baby to you etc unless you have family or friends staying with you. From my understanding only the women are considered the patient of the nurse not women plus baby and the ratios for post-op for any other surgery are way less than with postpartum moms. Nurses can correct me if I am wrong.

My DH was at Hopkins at had nurses constantly at his bedside, checking in, helping him, etc with no surgery. Post op csection after 2 days labor....it was deserted and wild wild west. You get poked and stabbed and massaged but thats about it.

I’m sorry you had a bad experience.
I had elective section at sibley pre pandemic. I felt very well cared for and was able to send baby to the nursery overnight to get some rest. The nurses were angels. I was there 4 nights and almost didn’t want to leave lol

Alot of hospitals are """"""""baby friendly""""""""" which means mandatory rooming-in with mom if they are not NICU babies. I had my baby who was resuscitated after a 1min APGAR score of 3 (he did not even have full points for pulse) in a """"""""baby friendly""""""""" hospital. They needed the room for another mom so they rushed us out, and he was on the post-partum floor with inadequate supervision. If he coded again he would have died because I was dog tired and asleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can choose to spend an extra night in the hospital but most women don't.

Is it really only one extra night? It’s been a while but I recall it was two days for vaginal and 5 days for a c-section.

Legally insurance companies cant restrict payment/coverage for less than 48 hours for vaginal or 96 for csection.

Regardless womens healthcare is always underwhelming. You can stay for 4 days but theres no one to help you get out of bed or bring the baby to you etc unless you have family or friends staying with you. From my understanding only the women are considered the patient of the nurse not women plus baby and the ratios for post-op for any other surgery are way less than with postpartum moms. Nurses can correct me if I am wrong.

My DH was at Hopkins at had nurses constantly at his bedside, checking in, helping him, etc with no surgery. Post op csection after 2 days labor....it was deserted and wild wild west. You get poked and stabbed and massaged but thats about it.

I’m sorry you had a bad experience.
I had elective section at sibley pre pandemic. I felt very well cared for and was able to send baby to the nursery overnight to get some rest. The nurses were angels. I was there 4 nights and almost didn’t want to leave lol

Sibley is the only hospital in the area to have a baby nursery from my understanding but its an hour drive for me.

I actually dont want the baby out of my room as a personal choice since I nurse (my choice doesnt have to be anyone elses). I want PP women to be covered at the same ratio as other post op patients- regardless of their mode of birth- and for the infants to be included in their patient ratio. It would be very difficult to establish supply without pumping or nursing overnight (i.e >4hours) in those first few days. But again, the choice kind of feels like no help at all due to "nursing-friendly" or a baby nursery which isnt supportive of how nursing works.

Again there's these binary choices in womens healthcare instead of expansion of choices just like you either have a non-bonding C section or vaginal birth.

I was told the hospital wont do a golden hour with a csection even though its evidence based. Obviously if contraindicated it wouldnt be done. But if you have a vaginal birth, you get it (outside of contraindications).

That's interesting. I have opposite preferences. I have severe insomnia (now with added medical anxiety, yay!) and resent that I can't take sleeping medication because I'm expected to be an unpaid nanny to another patient.

As for the C-section golden hour, during my first C-section, when I was crying buckets because it was an induction failure, the midwife shoved the baby on me when my blood pressure was going off. Really resented she didn't even ask. Totally misread the room. I remember being like, "I'm afraid she's going to fall!" and nobody giving a s---. The doula held the baby the next C-section. I just don't want to be responsible for holding a baby while I'm undergoing surgery. They can't nurse so I don't see the point at all. They're also totally wrapped up because the ORs are cold so its not even skin-to-skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can choose to spend an extra night in the hospital but most women don't.

Is it really only one extra night? It’s been a while but I recall it was two days for vaginal and 5 days for a c-section.

Legally insurance companies cant restrict payment/coverage for less than 48 hours for vaginal or 96 for csection.

Regardless womens healthcare is always underwhelming. You can stay for 4 days but theres no one to help you get out of bed or bring the baby to you etc unless you have family or friends staying with you. From my understanding only the women are considered the patient of the nurse not women plus baby and the ratios for post-op for any other surgery are way less than with postpartum moms. Nurses can correct me if I am wrong.

My DH was at Hopkins at had nurses constantly at his bedside, checking in, helping him, etc with no surgery. Post op csection after 2 days labor....it was deserted and wild wild west. You get poked and stabbed and massaged but thats about it.

This.

I avoided C-Section because it’s contraindicated for my medical history other than a life or death emergency. But if I knew how absolutely appalling postpartum care is, I would have been even more adamant. In what other possible universe is a patient responsible for the feeding and toileting of another patient hours or minutes after surgery/birth???

I will never ever forget being in tears waiting for the nurses to come to bring me to the bathroom after I fainted the first time unaccompanied and they put me on a fall warning (had they read the chart I would have been on the fall warning to begin with…). The idea that I’d have been waiting that long pushing a button for a post-surgical complication gives me chills.

Thank you for saying this. I thought I was taking crazy pills being the only person to notice. My DH was excluded from the post-partum floor because he wouldn't take a certain safe and effective intervention. I had 2 babies via C section and no help, other than the nurses. I left AMA after 24 hours both times. Literally nobody cared in the hospital. Really disturbing experience how little nurses and doctors care. You're just one less person buzzing the call button, buh bye, don't let the door hit you on the @$$.

I figured out how to raise the bed all the way, which made it much easier for me to retrieve the baby from the bassinet. The nurse b-----d me out for doing that. I was literally paralyzed from the waste down and expected to feed and diaper an hour's old infant. Don't even get me started on the sleep deprivation torture.

Oh yeah, I was marked as a "fall risk", which I guess everyone who's had a spinal is, yet Im holding an infant without supervision. Where is the sense in that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe anyone would opt for a c-section if it wasn't necessary. Cutting through several layers, including muscle, to deliver the baby. The recovery is difficult and painful.

They don’t cut through muscle anymore. Have you had a c-section?

The rectus muscle and lower segment of the uterus (which is muscle) are cut. Maybe you should not be speaking on matters of which you know nothing.

Sorry, let me correct myself:
"aponeurosis from the external oblique rectus muscle, and the other is a fused layer which contains the aponeuroses of the transverse abdominis and internal oblique muscles"

That’s all connective tissue. You don’t want it cut of possible. It’s in part what stabilizes your core.

It's connective tissue that is connected to those muscles, it's how the muscles attach to the pelvis. And it is cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe anyone would opt for a c-section if it wasn't necessary. Cutting through several layers, including muscle, to deliver the baby. The recovery is difficult and painful.

+1

I have no strong opinion on women being able to elect a C section without any medical indication, but I find it an odd choice. I had 3 babies vaginally and even with needing some pelvic floor therapy at one point, my recovery was remarkably easier than my friends who had C sections (esp multiple times). I’m a bit softer in the middle, but mostly things are back to normal (I also lucked out with no stretch marks or anything). No c section shelf or scar. I was able to get up and shower/walk around within a few hours of giving birth each time.

I think women are strong an amazing for literally having their bodies cut open to bring their children into this world, but let’s not downplay that it is major surgery.

Someone who had an easy vaginal birth would have this opinion. Speak to women who had horrific vaginal births that damaged them permanently and you will hear a different perspective. A good friend of mine who had a C section for breech for her first went on to try for a VBAC. She pushed for hours, they used forceps and gave her an episiotomy, and she ended up with anal incontinence. She was enraged how much more difficult her vaginal was and how she felt lied to that a VBAC was pushed so hard on her and that she was told her recovery would be easier than her c section. After her C section she was running an hour a day. She’s now years after her other birth and is planning a corrective surgery and deals daily with incontinence and pain, and says she and her husband barely can have sex because it’s too painful. YMMV.

Yeah, after pushing for 2 hours she should have been offered a C because the uterine rupture risk starts increasing

There is no meaningful way to consent to any of this after things start going sideways. There's no way to research, get a second opinion, etc. This should be discussed ahead of time but that will never happen because OBs are too precious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can choose to spend an extra night in the hospital but most women don't.

Is it really only one extra night? It’s been a while but I recall it was two days for vaginal and 5 days for a c-section.

Legally insurance companies cant restrict payment/coverage for less than 48 hours for vaginal or 96 for csection.

Regardless womens healthcare is always underwhelming. You can stay for 4 days but theres no one to help you get out of bed or bring the baby to you etc unless you have family or friends staying with you. From my understanding only the women are considered the patient of the nurse not women plus baby and the ratios for post-op for any other surgery are way less than with postpartum moms. Nurses can correct me if I am wrong.

My DH was at Hopkins at had nurses constantly at his bedside, checking in, helping him, etc with no surgery. Post op csection after 2 days labor....it was deserted and wild wild west. You get poked and stabbed and massaged but thats about it.

This.

I avoided C-Section because it’s contraindicated for my medical history other than a life or death emergency. But if I knew how absolutely appalling postpartum care is, I would have been even more adamant. In what other possible universe is a patient responsible for the feeding and toileting of another patient hours or minutes after surgery/birth???

I will never ever forget being in tears waiting for the nurses to come to bring me to the bathroom after I fainted the first time unaccompanied and they put me on a fall warning (had they read the chart I would have been on the fall warning to begin with…). The idea that I’d have been waiting that long pushing a button for a post-surgical complication gives me chills.

Yes to all this. It's truly insane that c section patients don't really get any care or instructions -- what other surgical patient would have that treatment?

I needed a scar revision surgery after my second c section (to disconnect an adhesion to my abdominal muscles) and the pre and post op care I
received for that was so far beyond what happened after my c sections. One week of bed rest, compression garments, massage, 6 weeks until I could exercise, silicone tape , etc etc. The post op instructions were 13 pages long, and this was a one -hour long out patient procedure (that fixed my c section shelf, btw). If anyone gave my guidance after my c section, I missed it.

C sections are a rational choice for some people. But post partum care in this country is horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can choose to spend an extra night in the hospital but most women don't.

Is it really only one extra night? It’s been a while but I recall it was two days for vaginal and 5 days for a c-section.

Legally insurance companies cant restrict payment/coverage for less than 48 hours for vaginal or 96 for csection.

Regardless womens healthcare is always underwhelming. You can stay for 4 days but theres no one to help you get out of bed or bring the baby to you etc unless you have family or friends staying with you. From my understanding only the women are considered the patient of the nurse not women plus baby and the ratios for post-op for any other surgery are way less than with postpartum moms. Nurses can correct me if I am wrong.

My DH was at Hopkins at had nurses constantly at his bedside, checking in, helping him, etc with no surgery. Post op csection after 2 days labor....it was deserted and wild wild west. You get poked and stabbed and massaged but thats about it.

This.

I avoided C-Section because it’s contraindicated for my medical history other than a life or death emergency. But if I knew how absolutely appalling postpartum care is, I would have been even more adamant. In what other possible universe is a patient responsible for the feeding and toileting of another patient hours or minutes after surgery/birth???

I will never ever forget being in tears waiting for the nurses to come to bring me to the bathroom after I fainted the first time unaccompanied and they put me on a fall warning (had they read the chart I would have been on the fall warning to begin with…). The idea that I’d have been waiting that long pushing a button for a post-surgical complication gives me chills.

Yes to all this. It's truly insane that c section patients don't really get any care or instructions -- what other surgical patient would have that treatment?

I needed a scar revision surgery after my second c section (to disconnect an adhesion to my abdominal muscles) and the pre and post op care I
received for that was so far beyond what happened after my c sections. One week of bed rest, compression garments, massage, 6 weeks until I could exercise, silicone tape , etc etc. The post op instructions were 13 pages long, and this was a one -hour long out patient procedure (that fixed my c section shelf, btw). If anyone gave my guidance after my c section, I missed it.

C sections are a rational choice for some people. But post partum care in this country is horrible.

That's not the worst of it. There is an ultrasound that would risk stratify rupture risk in labor for VBAC that obstetrics studiously ignores the existence of, probably because it would out obstetricians who are crappy surgeons

I think there are literally 10,000s if not 100,000s of women who have symptomatic C section isthmoceles or uterine infertility who's symptoms are being ignored (mine were) or who are spending $10,000s on fertility treatments futilely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can choose to spend an extra night in the hospital but most women don't.

Is it really only one extra night? It’s been a while but I recall it was two days for vaginal and 5 days for a c-section.

Legally insurance companies cant restrict payment/coverage for less than 48 hours for vaginal or 96 for csection.

Regardless womens healthcare is always underwhelming. You can stay for 4 days but theres no one to help you get out of bed or bring the baby to you etc unless you have family or friends staying with you. From my understanding only the women are considered the patient of the nurse not women plus baby and the ratios for post-op for any other surgery are way less than with postpartum moms. Nurses can correct me if I am wrong.

My DH was at Hopkins at had nurses constantly at his bedside, checking in, helping him, etc with no surgery. Post op csection after 2 days labor....it was deserted and wild wild west. You get poked and stabbed and massaged but thats about it.

I’m sorry you had a bad experience.
I had elective section at sibley pre pandemic. I felt very well cared for and was able to send baby to the nursery overnight to get some rest. The nurses were angels. I was there 4 nights and almost didn’t want to leave lol

Sibley is the only hospital in the area to have a baby nursery from my understanding but its an hour drive for me.

I actually dont want the baby out of my room as a personal choice since I nurse (my choice doesnt have to be anyone elses). I want PP women to be covered at the same ratio as other post op patients- regardless of their mode of birth- and for the infants to be included in their patient ratio. It would be very difficult to establish supply without pumping or nursing overnight (i.e >4hours) in those first few days. But again, the choice kind of feels like no help at all due to "nursing-friendly" or a baby nursery which isnt supportive of how nursing works.

Again there's these binary choices in womens healthcare instead of expansion of choices just like you either have a non-bonding C section or vaginal birth.

I was told the hospital wont do a golden hour with a csection even though its evidence based. Obviously if contraindicated it wouldnt be done. But if you have a vaginal birth, you get it (outside of contraindications).

That's interesting. I have opposite preferences. I have severe insomnia (now with added medical anxiety, yay!) and resent that I can't take sleeping medication because I'm expected to be an unpaid nanny to another patient.

As for the C-section golden hour, during my first C-section, when I was crying buckets because it was an induction failure, the midwife shoved the baby on me when my blood pressure was going off. Really resented she didn't even ask. Totally misread the room. I remember being like, "I'm afraid she's going to fall!" and nobody giving a s---. The doula held the baby the next C-section. I just don't want to be responsible for holding a baby while I'm undergoing surgery. They can't nurse so I don't see the point at all. They're also totally wrapped up because the ORs are cold so its not even skin-to-skin.

I nursed my baby in the OR while they sewed me up. The nurse held her on my chest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can choose to spend an extra night in the hospital but most women don't.

Is it really only one extra night? It’s been a while but I recall it was two days for vaginal and 5 days for a c-section.

Legally insurance companies cant restrict payment/coverage for less than 48 hours for vaginal or 96 for csection.

Regardless womens healthcare is always underwhelming. You can stay for 4 days but theres no one to help you get out of bed or bring the baby to you etc unless you have family or friends staying with you. From my understanding only the women are considered the patient of the nurse not women plus baby and the ratios for post-op for any other surgery are way less than with postpartum moms. Nurses can correct me if I am wrong.

My DH was at Hopkins at had nurses constantly at his bedside, checking in, helping him, etc with no surgery. Post op csection after 2 days labor....it was deserted and wild wild west. You get poked and stabbed and massaged but thats about it.

I’m sorry you had a bad experience.
I had elective section at sibley pre pandemic. I felt very well cared for and was able to send baby to the nursery overnight to get some rest. The nurses were angels. I was there 4 nights and almost didn’t want to leave lol

Sibley is the only hospital in the area to have a baby nursery from my understanding but its an hour drive for me.

I actually dont want the baby out of my room as a personal choice since I nurse (my choice doesnt have to be anyone elses). I want PP women to be covered at the same ratio as other post op patients- regardless of their mode of birth- and for the infants to be included in their patient ratio. It would be very difficult to establish supply without pumping or nursing overnight (i.e >4hours) in those first few days. But again, the choice kind of feels like no help at all due to "nursing-friendly" or a baby nursery which isnt supportive of how nursing works.

Again there's these binary choices in womens healthcare instead of expansion of choices just like you either have a non-bonding C section or vaginal birth.

I was told the hospital wont do a golden hour with a csection even though its evidence based. Obviously if contraindicated it wouldnt be done. But if you have a vaginal birth, you get it (outside of contraindications).

That's interesting. I have opposite preferences. I have severe insomnia (now with added medical anxiety, yay!) and resent that I can't take sleeping medication because I'm expected to be an unpaid nanny to another patient.

As for the C-section golden hour, during my first C-section, when I was crying buckets because it was an induction failure, the midwife shoved the baby on me when my blood pressure was going off. Really resented she didn't even ask. Totally misread the room. I remember being like, "I'm afraid she's going to fall!" and nobody giving a s---. The doula held the baby the next C-section. I just don't want to be responsible for holding a baby while I'm undergoing surgery. They can't nurse so I don't see the point at all. They're also totally wrapped up because the ORs are cold so its not even skin-to-skin.

I nursed my baby in the OR while they sewed me up. The nurse held her on my chest.

Oh that’s wonderful. Made me tear up. That’s seriously good care. It gives me hope.