Michelle Singletary - WAPO finance expert has three failure to launch kids in their 20's living at home - RENT FREE

[Anonymous]

I'd be thrilled if mine came back to live with us to save money. I cannot imagine charging my child rent.

[Anonymous]

I be love Michelle’s column. I’m sure their arrangement works great for them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone else read Michelle Singletary's article in the WAPO about her three young adult children who are still living at home - rent free? She claims they are saving for retirement, good grief. She has lost all credibility. I can't take her seriously.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/02/14/financial-cut-off-adult-children/

I feel like you don't know her style/mindset at all. She is incredibly conservative financially. Basically no debt ever except a mortgage that you should not stretch to afford. Doesn't matter if interest rates are negative and you can have roommates for a few years or live on beans and rice until you don't have to stretch. She'd still tell you not to do it.

She was being interviewed on some NPR show in the last month and talked about this - saying that they had a sit down conversation and this plan was thought through/it was a conscious decision and not because the kids couldn't live anywhere else.

We have close friends who are pretty financially well off and always were. Yet they lived with his parents their first year of marriage to save for a down payment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[google]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her advice makes sense for people who grew up poor, made it to the middle class, and are terrified about being scammed or wasting/losing their money. Which makes sense based on what she's shared about her background. And it is good advice for a lot of people. But it would not work for everyone. Things like paying off her low-interest mortgage early are emotionally comfortable but not economically wisest. Having kids live at home is good for some families, but not all.

It's a really sad state of your relationship with your kid if "it's not good for you" to have your 23 yo kid living at home, if you have space.

We don't have the space (downsized to a 2 bedroom condo as soon as last kid went to college---had been planning that for 6+ years). So it's tight when kids are home from college. If one gets a job in our area (VHCOL) we will help them with rent, if needed, the first few years. We would even rent them a place in our luxury condo building (one of the top 3 buildings in the city) if it works with job location---so they are close by yet independent. But if we had a 3-4 bedroom place we would let them live with us. All while giving them their independence and encouraging them to save $$$.

I guess I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to let your kid live at home if you could. They can still become independent adults, and are well on the way to doing that if you let them.

Sure is easy to judge when you deliberately moved into a 2 bedroom condo as soon as your last kid went to college. Seriously.

Yes, we wanted to live in the city, that was always our plan for retirement. By the time we implemented this, first kid was out of college and in a job 2K miles from home, so not coming back to live with us anytime soon. Younger kid lives with us on all breaks and over the summer. We also have a 2nd home, but it's also different than where the kids grew up. It's in a calmer/more rural area that is only 45 mins from us. However the kids don't want to live there.
However, if either of our kids ever decide to come live in same area as us, we will help them rent a place nearby, ideally in our building. We would have to do that because there is no way a 22/24yo could afford to live in our building on their own. But we would happily welcome our kid back to live with us if there was space. Unfortunately, I'm not purchasing a 4 bedroom condo in the VHCOL area/city we live in on the off chance my kids want to live with us for a few more years. Cheaper to help them rent a place in our building should the situation arise that the kids are working in our city.

No one needs your life story. But perhaps a little perspective as to maybe you shouldn't be so judgmental when you actively and purposefully sold your home and then moved into a place too small for your adult children to move in with you. Listen to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone else read Michelle Singletary's article in the WAPO about her three young adult children who are still living at home - rent free? She claims they are saving for retirement, good grief. She has lost all credibility. I can't take her seriously.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/02/14/financial-cut-off-adult-children/

I feel like you don't know her style/mindset at all. She is incredibly conservative financially. Basically no debt ever except a mortgage that you should not stretch to afford. Doesn't matter if interest rates are negative and you can have roommates for a few years or live on beans and rice until you don't have to stretch. She'd still tell you not to do it.

She was being interviewed on some NPR show in the last month and talked about this - saying that they had a sit down conversation and this plan was thought through/it was a conscious decision and not because the kids couldn't live anywhere else.

We have close friends who are pretty financially well off and always were. Yet they lived with his parents their first year of marriage to save for a down payment.

NP here. She is incredibly controlling, in ways I believe triggered by her own childhood. I have followed her for years and have enjoyed her column but her method would not have always worked for me. I remember her columns about her own daughter applying to college and how she allowed her to apply to her "dream school" knowing that she (Michelle) would refuse to pay for it (school was OOS Chapel Hill). Her daughter got rejected and ended up at the only school Maryland residents should ever attend according to Michelle, College Park. The entire situation was sad and manipulative. What if the daughter had been accepted, why wasn't Michelle more upfront about the costs with her daughter and was just hoping she'd be rejected and why did she write about it all and have it published.

She is not financially savvy, she is just terrified about being poor again, and I get that. I was poor as a kid too. But she doesn't offer leveraged advice, just save every penny, under your mattress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I find this set up a whole lot less off-putting than parents helping their adult MC kids with a down payment or daycare expenses.

You can build more family wealth that way. Get your kids launched and on the property ladder through an earlier inheritance.

We gifted DD $250,000 for a down payment - only stipulation is it had to be a 15 year mortgage. We made the numbers work for their budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone else read Michelle Singletary's article in the WAPO about her three young adult children who are still living at home - rent free? She claims they are saving for retirement, good grief. She has lost all credibility. I can't take her seriously.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/02/14/financial-cut-off-adult-children/

I feel like you don't know her style/mindset at all. She is incredibly conservative financially. Basically no debt ever except a mortgage that you should not stretch to afford. Doesn't matter if interest rates are negative and you can have roommates for a few years or live on beans and rice until you don't have to stretch. She'd still tell you not to do it.

She was being interviewed on some NPR show in the last month and talked about this - saying that they had a sit down conversation and this plan was thought through/it was a conscious decision and not because the kids couldn't live anywhere else.

We have close friends who are pretty financially well off and always were. Yet they lived with his parents their first year of marriage to save for a down payment.

NP here. She is incredibly controlling, in ways I believe triggered by her own childhood. I have followed her for years and have enjoyed her column but her method would not have always worked for me. I remember her columns about her own daughter applying to college and how she allowed her to apply to her "dream school" knowing that she (Michelle) would refuse to pay for it (school was OOS Chapel Hill). Her daughter got rejected and ended up at the only school Maryland residents should ever attend according to Michelle, College Park. The entire situation was sad and manipulative. What if the daughter had been accepted, why wasn't Michelle more upfront about the costs with her daughter and was just hoping she'd be rejected and why did she write about it all and have it published.

She is not financially savvy, she is just terrified about being poor again, and I get that. I was poor as a kid too. But she doesn't offer leveraged advice, just save every penny, under your mattress.

She’s also very vocal about tithing 10% of her gross income. Good for her but anyone struggling with their finances should prioritize themselves.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? No one who falls for tithing should ever give financial advice

[Anonymous]

I can’t read the article- how old are her kids?
I wonder about their dating lives. Living at home in my later 20s would mean my parents would know far too much about my life (sex, alcohol, etc) than I would want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone else read Michelle Singletary's article in the WAPO about her three young adult children who are still living at home - rent free? She claims they are saving for retirement, good grief. She has lost all credibility. I can't take her seriously.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/02/14/financial-cut-off-adult-children/

I feel like you don't know her style/mindset at all. She is incredibly conservative financially. Basically no debt ever except a mortgage that you should not stretch to afford. Doesn't matter if interest rates are negative and you can have roommates for a few years or live on beans and rice until you don't have to stretch. She'd still tell you not to do it.

She was being interviewed on some NPR show in the last month and talked about this - saying that they had a sit down conversation and this plan was thought through/it was a conscious decision and not because the kids couldn't live anywhere else.

We have close friends who are pretty financially well off and always were. Yet they lived with his parents their first year of marriage to save for a down payment.

NP here. She is incredibly controlling, in ways I believe triggered by her own childhood. I have followed her for years and have enjoyed her column but her method would not have always worked for me. I remember her columns about her own daughter applying to college and how she allowed her to apply to her "dream school" knowing that she (Michelle) would refuse to pay for it (school was OOS Chapel Hill). Her daughter got rejected and ended up at the only school Maryland residents should ever attend according to Michelle, College Park. The entire situation was sad and manipulative. What if the daughter had been accepted, why wasn't Michelle more upfront about the costs with her daughter and was just hoping she'd be rejected and why did she write about it all and have it published.

She is not financially savvy, she is just terrified about being poor again, and I get that. I was poor as a kid too. But she doesn't offer leveraged advice, just save every penny, under your mattress.

She’s also very vocal about tithing 10% of her gross income. Good for her but anyone struggling with their finances should prioritize themselves.

This viewpoint probably came from her grandmother who Michelle has stated in several occasions was where she learned all her financial training growing up. Her grandmother was 100% against debt (any and all debt), thought people were in debt because they lacked no self control, did NOT invest in the stock market because she didn’t trust banks or white people (she has repeatedly talked about it and has admitted her column’s focus was on POC but she is a poc so that’s her lens, can’t fault her for that), and believed in being painfully cheap (not frugal or thrifty but cheap).

Michelle did a 20 year anniversary of her column talking about how some of her initial views have changed but at the heart she’s the same. Rich people are rich because they act poor (are cheap) and poor people are poor because they act rich (over spend). Her words. Her methods are very basic and seem to infantize the reader as if the reader is dumb and uneducated. It is not for a sophisticated person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it seems like a reasonable and responsible set-up. Taking what she says at face value, they contribute to the household and are saving. I assume she lives in the DC area - rents are ridiculously high.

I find this set up a whole lot less off-putting than parents helping their adult MC kids with a down payment or daycare expenses.

Same. And my adult kids do not live at home.

I also think it’s more culturally acceptable in the AA community (mine and hers). None of my AA friends or family think it’s egregious to have adult kids live at home as long as they are going to school or working and making some contribution (whether that is financial or chores or elder care).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find this set up a whole lot less off-putting than parents helping their adult MC kids with a down payment or daycare expenses.

You can build more family wealth that way. Get your kids launched and on the property ladder through an earlier inheritance.

We gifted DD $250,000 for a down payment - only stipulation is it had to be a 15 year mortgage. We made the numbers work for their budget.

That is weird and controlling

[Anonymous]

She’s smarter than you, OP. In most countries, this is normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find this set up a whole lot less off-putting than parents helping their adult MC kids with a down payment or daycare expenses.

You can build more family wealth that way. Get your kids launched and on the property ladder through an earlier inheritance.

We gifted DD $250,000 for a down payment - only stipulation is it had to be a 15 year mortgage. We made the numbers work for their budget.

That was a bad requirement, particularly during the extended low rate environment. I hope she agreed to it and then immediately refinanced.

[Anonymous]

My kid is graduating in May and got a job back in the area. He has to commit three years to the office locally and can then transfer to another office. He doesn’t want to live in the area permanently. I’m letting him move into my basement with some ground rules. We’ll be roommates. I come and go and have my own life and I expect him to do the same. I’ll be collecting fair marker rent from him with the intention of investing it and returning it to him once he transfers somewhere else. He’s 22, has no debt and has $150k in a brokerage account (gifts from grandparents over the years that he hasn’t touched). He understands compound interest and has seen it work its magic in his account so that is the start of his retirement. He’s also intending to max out his 401k. He wants to use the rent money I collect for a down payment on a house wherever he ends up. I think he’s being smart. Without a roommate he’d be looking at spending at least half his take home pay on rent. I don’t see the problem.