Is Sidwell really Sadwell?

[Anonymous]

Have the results and findings of the mental health audit been shared with parents and the wider school community?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what did the audit find?

Why are kids so stressed out and unhappy? Pressure? Too much homework? It’s no secret there is a lot of homework. Hour in just first grade is a lot.

It is a larger cultural issue and unfortunately we as a society are not acting fast enough.

Social media has completely changed the world; teenagers and young adults do not have the life skills, social skills, and maturity (yet) to work through and process all of the information they encounter.

Gossip travels at a faster rate than ever before. One social faux pas can result in the whole class/social group knowing about it within an hour. That’s a lot of pressure and it’s not the only pressure.

On Tik Tok they see kids their age starting companies, doing scientific research, winning awards etc. How will they ever measure up? How will they get to Yale when there are kids out there doing such amazing things? They don’t realize it, but each image/video like this hurts and over time, that hurt gets larger, and they feel more inadequate.

A supportive and understanding home environment is more important than ever before. Make time for these kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This “is actually true for some kids” at every school. Students struggle with depression, and other mental health issues, at every school. Sidwell is not an exception to that rule, nor is it an outlier. What’s your point?

You would have us believe that the percentage of students struggling with mental health is the same at every school?

NP here: Actually I would. Kids are struggling all over—public, private, wealthy, middle class, poor, rural, suburban, city. If you don’t know this, then you haven’t been paying attention.

Take a listen. Worth 30 minutes of your time:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-daily/id1200361736?i=1000577780551

Read what I said more carefully. Nowhere am I disputing that mental health issues exist at every school. I'm just very skeptical that the percentage of students struggling is the same at every single school. It's almost certainly higher in some places than others.

I would argue that COVID has taken a toll on this cohort of upperclassmen down to current middle schoolers. It is going to be a bump for the next several years unless or until things get fully back to the pre-2019 normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Here are some ....then, signing out of this discussion.

Set up a stronger advisory system (not just a person and a time slot) - with dedicated positive outreach programming and expectations that advisors mentor and know all of their advisees and are open to parents. Some other schools also use the advisory bond as a way to support school spirit via cross advisory activities (like fun competitions). I think the advisory system is pretty good, and there are professional counselors over and above,so IMO they are already doing this

Discourage teachers from a mindset of competing to have label of "the hardest class/teacher at Sidwell" I don't know any teachers who come to work with this mindset. Some teachers are just more rigid, or harder, than others. What is wrong with challenging kids and having them rise to the challenge?

Hold all teachers accountable to follow the (good but often not followed) policies the counseling/health offices have set up for support for sick students to catch up I don't even understand this. Allowences are always made with kids are ill. Kids need to be proactive with the faculty when they are sick or have conflcts

Stop putting students and parents at arms length I don't reach out to faculty or admin often, but when i do, I get a pretty quick response. The kids are never at arms length. The school WANTS the kids to be engaged and proactive.

Hire teachers who care about student well being and value the mentorship role I think they generally do. I also think teachers applying to teach at a school like Sidwell WANT that role.

Have a parent teacher conferences every year with every teacher This is physically impossible from a time standpoint, but again, whenever I have had to reach out to a faculty member, I have gotten a quick response. Parents are always told that they can schedule to meet with a teacher any time. I don't understand, unless there is a significant academic issue, why any parent would want or need to meet with a teacher in the upper school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A sidwell parent here. I have to say I like the school but am deeply ashamed by how my Sidwell peers and “friends” are behaving on this thread. It’s petty and defensive. Of course, the school has a million problems. I don’t think it has anything to do with admissions issues. The kids have a toxic social culture. We discuss this in our potlucks all the time. The academic stress gets compounded by fact that generally kids can be very very mean to each other. This is not news at Sidwell. We wrestle with it in the PA all the time since they were in middle school and now they are in high school. It’s a problem. We all know this to be true as parents of Sidwell students. Peace everyone

I know several kids that have left Sidwell because of the culture. I am surprised as I always thought it was a top school in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A sidwell parent here. I have to say I like the school but am deeply ashamed by how my Sidwell peers and “friends” are behaving on this thread. It’s petty and defensive. Of course, the school has a million problems. I don’t think it has anything to do with admissions issues. The kids have a toxic social culture. We discuss this in our potlucks all the time. The academic stress gets compounded by fact that generally kids can be very very mean to each other. This is not news at Sidwell. We wrestle with it in the PA all the time since they were in middle school and now they are in high school. It’s a problem. We all know this to be true as parents of Sidwell students. Peace everyone

I know several kids that have left Sidwell because of the culture. I am surprised as I always thought it was a top school in the DMV.

It is, but like any school, fit is important. Some kids leave Sidwell to focus on a sport or because the fit isn't right. Same with other schools. It is not a one-size-fits-all school. No school is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Here are some ....then, signing out of this discussion.

Set up a stronger advisory system (not just a person and a time slot) - with dedicated positive outreach programming and expectations that advisors mentor and know all of their advisees and are open to parents. Some other schools also use the advisory bond as a way to support school spirit via cross advisory activities (like fun competitions). I think the advisory system is pretty good, and there are professional counselors over and above,so IMO they are already doing this

Discourage teachers from a mindset of competing to have label of "the hardest class/teacher at Sidwell" I don't know any teachers who come to work with this mindset. Some teachers are just more rigid, or harder, than others. What is wrong with challenging kids and having them rise to the challenge?

Hold all teachers accountable to follow the (good but often not followed) policies the counseling/health offices have set up for support for sick students to catch up I don't even understand this. Allowences are always made with kids are ill. Kids need to be proactive with the faculty when they are sick or have conflcts

Stop putting students and parents at arms length I don't reach out to faculty or admin often, but when i do, I get a pretty quick response. The kids are never at arms length. The school WANTS the kids to be engaged and proactive.

Hire teachers who care about student well being and value the mentorship role I think they generally do. I also think teachers applying to teach at a school like Sidwell WANT that role.

Have a parent teacher conferences every year with every teacher This is physically impossible from a time standpoint, but again, whenever I have had to reach out to a faculty member, I have gotten a quick response. Parents are always told that they can schedule to meet with a teacher any time. I don't understand, unless there is a significant academic issue, why any parent would want or need to meet with a teacher in the upper school

Yeah - ok. Another head in the sand.

[Anonymous]

I have an example from my own life. Have daughter at Sidwell upper school. She eschoes everything said here. Great teachers and academics. Horrible toxic social culture and cut throat student body. I tell her it reminds me of Harvard Medical. Same thing. Best education possible. Great professors and mentors. But socially and with peers, it’s a four year knife fight. Hated every day and could not leave soon enough. Never donated a single dollar to that place. Only bad memories. When new applicants apply from my Alma mater, I assume it means that they are a smart but terrible person. That is what I see in Sidwell kids (not their teachers who are great). Over confident, over privileged, smart, talented, depressed, toxic little people. Sad but true

[Anonymous]

^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

This is such a tired response.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an example from my own life. Have daughter at Sidwell upper school. She eschoes everything said here. Great teachers and academics. Horrible toxic social culture and cut throat student body. I tell her it reminds me of Harvard Medical. Same thing. Best education possible. Great professors and mentors. But socially and with peers, it’s a four year knife fight. Hated every day and could not leave soon enough. Never donated a single dollar to that place. Only bad memories. When new applicants apply from my Alma mater, I assume it means that they are a smart but terrible person. That is what I see in Sidwell kids (not their teachers who are great). Over confident, over privileged, smart, talented, depressed, toxic little people. Sad but true

So, (1) you hated the “four year knife fight” that was Harvard Med.; (2) you and your daughter agree that Sidwell sounds just like your miserable time in medical school; and (3) you still chose/choose to send your child to Sidwell.

It sounds like both you and your daughter are masochists. You don’t deserve any sympathy. Lie in the bed you made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

This is such a tired response.....

Perhaps, but a VERY valid question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

Good question. Have to admit we did consider transferring. But, like I said, school is remarkably good. And once you’re there, it’s risky to transfer to a new school Junior Year. Better to just grit your teeth and plough through. I. Words of Abe Lincoln “This too shall pass”

[Anonymous]

Sidwell has a contingent of parents who would develop genuine stress if the school fell in the rankings from Big 3 past Big 5 to land as a decent but not noteworthy school. That contingent alone sets the culture of the school apart from a decent but not noteworthy school. Sometimes kids need to be valued even when they’re not noteworthy, which no kid really is at these ages. That helps them develop close lifetime friends who support each other through difficult moments of life. It also helps them recover from mistakes and build the courage to take risks.

It’s not a wonder that while Sidwell alumni accomplish wonderful things, so do students from other schools. However the culture at those other schools lacks the dynamic of this unique group of parents (and students)

To each their own. I am not a Sidwell grad, but I am a very happy Stanford grad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

Good question. Have to admit we did consider transferring. But, like I said, school is remarkably good. And once you’re there, it’s risky to transfer to a new school Junior Year. Better to just grit your teeth and plough through. I. Words of Abe Lincoln “This too shall pass”

So you didn’t come to this realization about Sidwell until your daughter was in 10th grade? That doesn’t sound plausible. Just admit that you’re addicted to prestige. Like Harvard’s medical school, Sidwell’s “name” has you in a stranglehold. Well, you’re getting what you signed up for [shrug].