What is your 13 year old doing this summer?

[Anonymous]

A month of sleepaway camp. Looking for some others programs to fill a week or two. Visiting family for a week or two, possibly on his own. He's pretty self sufficient at home and DH works from home, in case some of the time isn't booked.

(11 year old is not independent, and will do a month of sleepaway and a month of day camp)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you filling your teen’s summer weeks must have missed the Dr Gray thread about the importance of self play and less structure. This goes for teens too. Raising a bunch of robots with no personality. Kids that look great on paper but have no idea who they really are.

Have you ever been to sleepaway camp? It isn’t as structured as you think…especially for the teen ages.

Having grown up in the Midwest where no one does sleepaway camp and we all just bummed around all summer, I can tell you sleepaway camp fosters far more skills and independence than a summer home doing the various versions of “nothing” talking about here. My kids go and love it

I used to volunteer at a sleep away camp for 3 years as a teen and was also a nurse at various ones for multiple summers. They are completely structured. Down to when you wake up, where you are every hour, food handed to you, and lights out.

I can tell you the older teen counselors are only there to be with their friends and have sex at night. That was kinda insane to me how little they cared. And many girls of various ages came to me about being assaulted and my reports were brushed off a lot. So no, I don’t think it fosters independence at all. Parents just think it helps.

I work summers at a sleepaway camp (currently, not decades ago), and that is not my experience at all as an adult there. But they have been single gender camps. The teens pick their schedule and activities and can really lean into new skills and focus on a couple things, or they can try a variety of stuff, or they can spend the whole day reading if they want (but no one does). While wake up, lights out, and meals are at set times- they largely have control of their day. They make friends with kids that are maybe not their typical type, the counselors are all former campers that love being there. A lot of problem solving and conflict resolution they guide themselves goes on, they gain a ton of confidence, honestly, I have nothing negative to say about it. And while I spend summers working at camps-it is purely for fun because my kids love them, I don’t have any cash incentive or stake in the camps.

Just an FYI that most sexual assaults at camps are same gender, even at co-ed camps. That is why so many are probably not reported and the ones that are, aren’t taken seriously enough.

[Anonymous]

Mine will be doing a local dance program with friends, plus hanging out, sleeping in, relaxing. Summer is her happy time. We have two small-ish trips planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you filling your teen’s summer weeks must have missed the Dr Gray thread about the importance of self play and less structure. This goes for teens too. Raising a bunch of robots with no personality. Kids that look great on paper but have no idea who they really are.

Have you ever been to sleepaway camp? It isn’t as structured as you think…especially for the teen ages.

Having grown up in the Midwest where no one does sleepaway camp and we all just bummed around all summer, I can tell you sleepaway camp fosters far more skills and independence than a summer home doing the various versions of “nothing” talking about here. My kids go and love it

I used to volunteer at a sleep away camp for 3 years as a teen and was also a nurse at various ones for multiple summers. They are completely structured. Down to when you wake up, where you are every hour, food handed to you, and lights out.

I can tell you the older teen counselors are only there to be with their friends and have sex at night. That was kinda insane to me how little they cared. And many girls of various ages came to me about being assaulted and my reports were brushed off a lot. So no, I don’t think it fosters independence at all. Parents just think it helps.

I work summers at a sleepaway camp (currently, not decades ago), and that is not my experience at all as an adult there. But they have been single gender camps. The teens pick their schedule and activities and can really lean into new skills and focus on a couple things, or they can try a variety of stuff, or they can spend the whole day reading if they want (but no one does). While wake up, lights out, and meals are at set times- they largely have control of their day. They make friends with kids that are maybe not their typical type, the counselors are all former campers that love being there. A lot of problem solving and conflict resolution they guide themselves goes on, they gain a ton of confidence, honestly, I have nothing negative to say about it. And while I spend summers working at camps-it is purely for fun because my kids love them, I don’t have any cash incentive or stake in the camps.

Just an FYI that most sexual assaults at camps are same gender, even at co-ed camps. That is why so many are probably not reported and the ones that are, aren’t taken seriously enough.

Acting like it is a rampant problem isn’t reality. You have no idea to make this claim. But what I do know is the same kids come back year after year. Their parent and in some case grandparents went. The camps have been around 100+ yrs. If kids/parents were being abused, they wouldn’t happily and willingly go and parents wouldn’t send them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you filling your teen’s summer weeks must have missed the Dr Gray thread about the importance of self play and less structure. This goes for teens too. Raising a bunch of robots with no personality. Kids that look great on paper but have no idea who they really are.

Have you ever been to sleepaway camp? It isn’t as structured as you think…especially for the teen ages.

Having grown up in the Midwest where no one does sleepaway camp and we all just bummed around all summer, I can tell you sleepaway camp fosters far more skills and independence than a summer home doing the various versions of “nothing” talking about here. My kids go and love it

I used to volunteer at a sleep away camp for 3 years as a teen and was also a nurse at various ones for multiple summers. They are completely structured. Down to when you wake up, where you are every hour, food handed to you, and lights out.

I can tell you the older teen counselors are only there to be with their friends and have sex at night. That was kinda insane to me how little they cared. And many girls of various ages came to me about being assaulted and my reports were brushed off a lot. So no, I don’t think it fosters independence at all. Parents just think it helps.

I work summers at a sleepaway camp (currently, not decades ago), and that is not my experience at all as an adult there. But they have been single gender camps. The teens pick their schedule and activities and can really lean into new skills and focus on a couple things, or they can try a variety of stuff, or they can spend the whole day reading if they want (but no one does). While wake up, lights out, and meals are at set times- they largely have control of their day. They make friends with kids that are maybe not their typical type, the counselors are all former campers that love being there. A lot of problem solving and conflict resolution they guide themselves goes on, they gain a ton of confidence, honestly, I have nothing negative to say about it. And while I spend summers working at camps-it is purely for fun because my kids love them, I don’t have any cash incentive or stake in the camps.

Just an FYI that most sexual assaults at camps are same gender, even at co-ed camps. That is why so many are probably not reported and the ones that are, aren’t taken seriously enough.

Acting like it is a rampant problem isn’t reality. You have no idea to make this claim. But what I do know is the same kids come back year after year. Their parent and in some case grandparents went. The camps have been around 100+ yrs. If kids/parents were being abused, they wouldn’t happily and willingly go and parents wouldn’t send them.

Wait, do you mean like all the Christian alter boys going generation after generation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked that people just send their kids off to months of camps. Don’t you miss them? My kids are the best during summer. It’s so much more laxed. No grades to argue about. Watching them work, volunteer, find things to do with friends, and go on weekend vacations with us or their friends

I just can’t imagine an empty house all summer. That’s just sad to me.

I do miss them. But they have made intense and wonderful friendships that continue throughout the school year and from summer to summer. They come home with new skills and maturity. Especially my 13 year old, the way his face lights up when he talks about camp. It's nice to have a totally separate group of friends too, from different areas with different backgrounds.

We still have time over the summer for travel and family time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you filling your teen’s summer weeks must have missed the Dr Gray thread about the importance of self play and less structure. This goes for teens too. Raising a bunch of robots with no personality. Kids that look great on paper but have no idea who they really are.

Have you ever been to sleepaway camp? It isn’t as structured as you think…especially for the teen ages.

Having grown up in the Midwest where no one does sleepaway camp and we all just bummed around all summer, I can tell you sleepaway camp fosters far more skills and independence than a summer home doing the various versions of “nothing” talking about here. My kids go and love it

I used to volunteer at a sleep away camp for 3 years as a teen and was also a nurse at various ones for multiple summers. They are completely structured. Down to when you wake up, where you are every hour, food handed to you, and lights out.

I can tell you the older teen counselors are only there to be with their friends and have sex at night. That was kinda insane to me how little they cared. And many girls of various ages came to me about being assaulted and my reports were brushed off a lot. So no, I don’t think it fosters independence at all. Parents just think it helps.

I work summers at a sleepaway camp (currently, not decades ago), and that is not my experience at all as an adult there. But they have been single gender camps. The teens pick their schedule and activities and can really lean into new skills and focus on a couple things, or they can try a variety of stuff, or they can spend the whole day reading if they want (but no one does). While wake up, lights out, and meals are at set times- they largely have control of their day. They make friends with kids that are maybe not their typical type, the counselors are all former campers that love being there. A lot of problem solving and conflict resolution they guide themselves goes on, they gain a ton of confidence, honestly, I have nothing negative to say about it. And while I spend summers working at camps-it is purely for fun because my kids love them, I don’t have any cash incentive or stake in the camps.

Just an FYI that most sexual assaults at camps are same gender, even at co-ed camps. That is why so many are probably not reported and the ones that are, aren’t taken seriously enough.

Acting like it is a rampant problem isn’t reality. You have no idea to make this claim. But what I do know is the same kids come back year after year. Their parent and in some case grandparents went. The camps have been around 100+ yrs. If kids/parents were being abused, they wouldn’t happily and willingly go and parents wouldn’t send them.

I think given the enormous sex abuse scandals that we have seen in Boy Scouts, an organization that is more than 100 years old, and in multiple religious denominations that are much older than that, it's pretty naive to state that parents don't send their kids happily and willingly to places where children get hurt.

I am not saying that this is a reason to choose or not to choose summer camp. I think that decision of whether or not to send your kids to camp should be made carefully, after looking at lots of factors, and that the right decision is different for different families, and different kids in the same family. But to say "Oh, people have been doing it for 100+ years so obviously it's fine" is absurd.

[Anonymous]

Child sexual abuse can literally happen anywhere, I don't see any evidence risk is higher at sleepaway camps than anywhere else. if anything I would think it would be lower because there really aren't any private places at most camps. The risk seems much lower to me than letting your kid do travel sports or music activities where kids are staying in hotels in big groups without their parents and yet that happens all the time.

We miss our kids when they are at camp but they love it, have made life-long friends and come back more confident. My kids are barely in touch with me while at camp (letters are sent/received via snail mail and camp is remote so it takes a while) so they truly have to solve problems themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you filling your teen’s summer weeks must have missed the Dr Gray thread about the importance of self play and less structure. This goes for teens too. Raising a bunch of robots with no personality. Kids that look great on paper but have no idea who they really are.

Have you ever been to sleepaway camp? It isn’t as structured as you think…especially for the teen ages.

Having grown up in the Midwest where no one does sleepaway camp and we all just bummed around all summer, I can tell you sleepaway camp fosters far more skills and independence than a summer home doing the various versions of “nothing” talking about here. My kids go and love it

I used to volunteer at a sleep away camp for 3 years as a teen and was also a nurse at various ones for multiple summers. They are completely structured. Down to when you wake up, where you are every hour, food handed to you, and lights out.

I can tell you the older teen counselors are only there to be with their friends and have sex at night. That was kinda insane to me how little they cared. And many girls of various ages came to me about being assaulted and my reports were brushed off a lot. So no, I don’t think it fosters independence at all. Parents just think it helps.

I work summers at a sleepaway camp (currently, not decades ago), and that is not my experience at all as an adult there. But they have been single gender camps. The teens pick their schedule and activities and can really lean into new skills and focus on a couple things, or they can try a variety of stuff, or they can spend the whole day reading if they want (but no one does). While wake up, lights out, and meals are at set times- they largely have control of their day. They make friends with kids that are maybe not their typical type, the counselors are all former campers that love being there. A lot of problem solving and conflict resolution they guide themselves goes on, they gain a ton of confidence, honestly, I have nothing negative to say about it. And while I spend summers working at camps-it is purely for fun because my kids love them, I don’t have any cash incentive or stake in the camps.

Just an FYI that most sexual assaults at camps are same gender, even at co-ed camps. That is why so many are probably not reported and the ones that are, aren’t taken seriously enough.

Acting like it is a rampant problem isn’t reality. You have no idea to make this claim. But what I do know is the same kids come back year after year. Their parent and in some case grandparents went. The camps have been around 100+ yrs. If kids/parents were being abused, they wouldn’t happily and willingly go and parents wouldn’t send them.

Wait, do you mean like all the Christian alter boys going generation after generation?

Religion is weird and cultish. Summer camp is fun and optional

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most of you filling your teen’s summer weeks must have missed the Dr Gray thread about the importance of self play and less structure. This goes for teens too. Raising a bunch of robots with no personality. Kids that look great on paper but have no idea who they really are.

Have you ever been to sleepaway camp? It isn’t as structured as you think…especially for the teen ages.

Having grown up in the Midwest where no one does sleepaway camp and we all just bummed around all summer, I can tell you sleepaway camp fosters far more skills and independence than a summer home doing the various versions of “nothing” talking about here. My kids go and love it

I used to volunteer at a sleep away camp for 3 years as a teen and was also a nurse at various ones for multiple summers. They are completely structured. Down to when you wake up, where you are every hour, food handed to you, and lights out.

I can tell you the older teen counselors are only there to be with their friends and have sex at night. That was kinda insane to me how little they cared. And many girls of various ages came to me about being assaulted and my reports were brushed off a lot. So no, I don’t think it fosters independence at all. Parents just think it helps.

I work summers at a sleepaway camp (currently, not decades ago), and that is not my experience at all as an adult there. But they have been single gender camps. The teens pick their schedule and activities and can really lean into new skills and focus on a couple things, or they can try a variety of stuff, or they can spend the whole day reading if they want (but no one does). While wake up, lights out, and meals are at set times- they largely have control of their day. They make friends with kids that are maybe not their typical type, the counselors are all former campers that love being there. A lot of problem solving and conflict resolution they guide themselves goes on, they gain a ton of confidence, honestly, I have nothing negative to say about it. And while I spend summers working at camps-it is purely for fun because my kids love them, I don’t have any cash incentive or stake in the camps.

Just an FYI that most sexual assaults at camps are same gender, even at co-ed camps. That is why so many are probably not reported and the ones that are, aren’t taken seriously enough.

Acting like it is a rampant problem isn’t reality. You have no idea to make this claim. But what I do know is the same kids come back year after year. Their parent and in some case grandparents went. The camps have been around 100+ yrs. If kids/parents were being abused, they wouldn’t happily and willingly go and parents wouldn’t send them.

I think given the enormous sex abuse scandals that we have seen in Boy Scouts, an organization that is more than 100 years old, and in multiple religious denominations that are much older than that, it's pretty naive to state that parents don't send their kids happily and willingly to places where children get hurt.

I am not saying that this is a reason to choose or not to choose summer camp. I think that decision of whether or not to send your kids to camp should be made carefully, after looking at lots of factors, and that the right decision is different for different families, and different kids in the same family. But to say "Oh, people have been doing it for 100+ years so obviously it's fine" is absurd.

Vast majority of boys that participate in Boy Scouts were never abused. Same with summer camps. It’s absurd to not send your kid bc you think all kids that go are abused.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with organized activities, camps, part time jobs ect. But, there also isn't anything wrong with kids having unstructured free time, which I don't think kids get enough of. I think it's good to strive for a balance, but it's also fine if kids aren't into activities, it's good to learn to entertain yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with organized activities, camps, part time jobs ect. But, there also isn't anything wrong with kids having unstructured free time, which I don't think kids get enough of. I think it's good to strive for a balance, but it's also fine if kids aren't into activities, it's good to learn to entertain yourself.

My kids have plenty of unstructured time at sleepaway camp. There are several hours a day with no activities per se but they can hang out with friends, play cards, or read. The difference is that it is not miserably hot (camp is in an area that is much cooler than DC in the summer) and they are with their friends and there are absolutely no screens. But it is definitely not hyper scheduled. It is, however, very expensive so I get it is not an option for most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Government contractor as IT support help desk, $30/hr.

What? At 13??? How?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Starting a nonprofit to boost college admissions prospects (HYPSM).

Wow, a real generous soul. I supposed she’ll be researching not what is in most need but what’s the easiest and most impressive for colleges. They know all about the parents behind the sudden interest in non-profits. Unless she’s willing to put in hours each week for the next four or five years don’t bother.

Lighten up. The PP was 💯 joking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Government contractor as IT support help desk, $30/hr.

A 13 year old??

Yes, troubleshoot network and application issues on PC and MAC. DH taught him how to do that at the age of ten. My neighbor is a Fed and she convinces one of the gov contractors to hire my son.

Pretty sure the government contract that the gov contractor agreed to when they got the contract absolutely prohibits employment of minors—even if your neighbor is convincing. I guess your neighbor is unconcerned about getting the agency into serious hot water though.