Lottery/school despair

[Anonymous]

Peabody mom here! You should be able to get into Watkins and I recommend you do. There are many kids in my son's incoming K class with older siblings at Watkins and while it's true that inbound kids peel off at 3rd grade and above, I think some parents are staying and everyone we know had good experiences in 1st and 2nd. We have lots of friends at Ludlow who love it so I do hope it works out for you, but Watkins could be a good interim solution. We even know a few people who are happy at Stuart Hobson. I know there are many people who can / will shoot down Watkins and SH but I'm trying to be constructive here. I would get on the Watkins list today if you're that upset about where you are. I also know personally some of the Peabody K kids who are going to Watkins and they are great. Some of them aren't planning on staying for long, but again, an interim solution for you while you try to figure out other things. Who knows, maybe you'll even like it and want to stay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, hon. You are *much* more in control of this than you think. You *can* stay in your home, if you are willing to open your mind to more schools. It's a choice that you are making. Lots of people attend schools like Langley, Seaton, Burroughs, Miner, etc., and they like it! If that's not what you want, fine. But it's a thing that lots of real people are doing all over the city. You're choosing not to be open-minded and do what you need to do to make a lower-performing school work for your family. But it's a choice. And you'll feel less in despair about this if you recognize that it is a choice.

Oh please. It’s a choice that is no longer tenable in MS.

Lots of people stay for MS. And since OP's child is entering 1st, OP has lots of time to ponder her strategy and figure something out. Right now, she is *choosing* to be unhappy with schools that other people find acceptable. That's her choice, but it's a choice. The self-pity is not necessary.

No the overwhelming majority of middle class families going to the schools above are not staying in the upper grades much less tracking to the middle schools that they feed into.

OP’s standards are higher than families who choose to stay in schools above. At least you have that part right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, hon. You are *much* more in control of this than you think. You *can* stay in your home, if you are willing to open your mind to more schools. It's a choice that you are making. Lots of people attend schools like Langley, Seaton, Burroughs, Miner, etc., and they like it! If that's not what you want, fine. But it's a thing that lots of real people are doing all over the city. You're choosing not to be open-minded and do what you need to do to make a lower-performing school work for your family. But it's a choice. And you'll feel less in despair about this if you recognize that it is a choice.

Oh please. It’s a choice that is no longer tenable in MS.

Lots of people stay for MS. And since OP's child is entering 1st, OP has lots of time to ponder her strategy and figure something out. Right now, she is *choosing* to be unhappy with schools that other people find acceptable. That's her choice, but it's a choice. The self-pity is not necessary.

No the overwhelming majority of middle class families going to the schools above are not staying in the upper grades much less tracking to the middle schools that they feed into.

OP’s standards are higher than families who choose to stay in schools above. At least you have that part right.

Right, most are not but some are. And the total of high-SES people who are staying *in DC but not at Deal/Hardy* for middle school is pretty high. I would consider switching to any EOTP middle school, DCPS or charter, to be "staying" even if it isn't the feeder.

And yes it's a choice. There's no need to act so powerless. Look, I'd love to have a nice big yard like country folk do, and I can't have that on the Hill. Am I powerless? No, I'm choosing to live on the Hill.

[Anonymous]

Watkins has a pretty good middle school feed (Stuart Hobson - same as Ludlow and JO Wilson). Some people move there in the upper grades for that feed. Hyde Addison feeds to Hardy (but those schools are both a very difficult commute from NE). Same.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I get people have different standards and maybe some people think my standards are unreasonable.

But one point to consider is that my child is currently at a school that gets pushed as an "acceptable" option on here, and that I think many of you seem to think is fine, but we are very unhappy there after having a decent to above-average experience in PK. The reality of K and up at the school is just not for us and we are watching family after family leave in just the last year and a half (including families leaving midyear specifically because they are unhappy with the school). So if I seem dismissive of certain options, that is why. We are currently at an option like that, which was very much billed to us as "good enough" and "up and coming" and "lots of people are happy there" and that has simply not reflected the reality.

I believe some people are happy at those schools. I know there are people happy at our school. It may just be a fit issue, a question of specific child or family needs, or just an issue of expectations. I grew up going to pretty mediocre-to-bad public schools and some of my expectations have to do with a clear understanding of how those schools failed to prepare me in fundamental ways, as well as some ways that school culture made my childhood miserable in some ways, so that influences my perception and expectations for my own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, hon. You are *much* more in control of this than you think. You *can* stay in your home, if you are willing to open your mind to more schools. It's a choice that you are making. Lots of people attend schools like Langley, Seaton, Burroughs, Miner, etc., and they like it! If that's not what you want, fine. But it's a thing that lots of real people are doing all over the city. You're choosing not to be open-minded and do what you need to do to make a lower-performing school work for your family. But it's a choice. And you'll feel less in despair about this if you recognize that it is a choice.

Oh please. It’s a choice that is no longer tenable in MS.

Lots of people stay for MS. And since OP's child is entering 1st, OP has lots of time to ponder her strategy and figure something out. Right now, she is *choosing* to be unhappy with schools that other people find acceptable. That's her choice, but it's a choice. The self-pity is not necessary.

No the overwhelming majority of middle class families going to the schools above are not staying in the upper grades much less tracking to the middle schools that they feed into.

OP’s standards are higher than families who choose to stay in schools above. At least you have that part right.

Right, most are not but some are. And the total of high-SES people who are staying *in DC but not at Deal/Hardy* for middle school is pretty high. I would consider switching to any EOTP middle school, DCPS or charter, to be "staying" even if it isn't the feeder.

And yes it's a choice. There's no need to act so powerless. Look, I'd love to have a nice big yard like country folk do, and I can't have that on the Hill. Am I powerless? No, I'm choosing to live on the Hill.

This is obtuse because some of us cannot afford to live on the Hill OR have a nice big yard in the suburbs. You are conflating your situation (a privileged choice based on where you prefer to live) with the real constraints of other people for whom where they live is less of a choice than a necessity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get people have different standards and maybe some people think my standards are unreasonable.

But one point to consider is that my child is currently at a school that gets pushed as an "acceptable" option on here, and that I think many of you seem to think is fine, but we are very unhappy there after having a decent to above-average experience in PK. The reality of K and up at the school is just not for us and we are watching family after family leave in just the last year and a half (including families leaving midyear specifically because they are unhappy with the school). So if I seem dismissive of certain options, that is why. We are currently at an option like that, which was very much billed to us as "good enough" and "up and coming" and "lots of people are happy there" and that has simply not reflected the reality.

I believe some people are happy at those schools. I know there are people happy at our school. It may just be a fit issue, a question of specific child or family needs, or just an issue of expectations. I grew up going to pretty mediocre-to-bad public schools and some of my expectations have to do with a clear understanding of how those schools failed to prepare me in fundamental ways, as well as some ways that school culture made my childhood miserable in some ways, so that influences my perception and expectations for my own child.

Okay, so specifically which schools do you think are good enough for your needs? How can we actually help you find a match?

[Anonymous]

If L-T is “good enough” for you (and my kids are extremely happy there — one already in upper elementary, so I don’t mean that snarkily), then the odds are overwhelming that you will get in in 2nd. Last year, anyone who listed L-T on their initial list did (although we ended up with a waiting list over 10 kids, so obviously lots of post-lottery adds). Can you hold out one extra year? The L-T 2nd & 3rd grade teachers are especially excellent, for what it’s worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I get people have different standards and maybe some people think my standards are unreasonable.

But one point to consider is that my child is currently at a school that gets pushed as an "acceptable" option on here, and that I think many of you seem to think is fine, but we are very unhappy there after having a decent to above-average experience in PK. The reality of K and up at the school is just not for us and we are watching family after family leave in just the last year and a half (including families leaving midyear specifically because they are unhappy with the school). So if I seem dismissive of certain options, that is why. We are currently at an option like that, which was very much billed to us as "good enough" and "up and coming" and "lots of people are happy there" and that has simply not reflected the reality.

I believe some people are happy at those schools. I know there are people happy at our school. It may just be a fit issue, a question of specific child or family needs, or just an issue of expectations. I grew up going to pretty mediocre-to-bad public schools and some of my expectations have to do with a clear understanding of how those schools failed to prepare me in fundamental ways, as well as some ways that school culture made my childhood miserable in some ways, so that influences my perception and expectations for my own child.

I believe you and that is why I don’t trust DCUM’s advice with the low Performing schools. My experience IRL is the opposite of what I read here.

However, I think you will probably get in one the schools by the end of the summer.

[Anonymous]

OP, lots of people were thrilled when they got into Mundo Verde and Two Rivers too. And look how that turned out. Did they get a better deal than you? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Sigh. Sometimes you just have a bad teacher and year. No one is calling the waitlist in July. That will happen in August. On the eastern side of town, I think the following still after 1st or 2nd grade take some real lottery luck or a particular in-boundary address to get into: SWS, CHML, ITS, Brent, and Maury. But that is about it. I agree with the earlier poster that you may need to look a little harder (or more broadly).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, lots of people were thrilled when they got into Mundo Verde and Two Rivers too. And look how that turned out. Did they get a better deal than you? I doubt it.

+100. We were at TR and it was a disaster. You have to come up with Plan B, Plan C, etc. It might take a few years to figure out but you have to be open to all options, and that could include moving, private, etc. Then is the lottery and the subsequent school works out, then great. But if not, then you have a sold school to fall back on.

Honestly, MS is *much* higher stakes. Focus now on finding a good path to MS and HS--again it might take some time and involve major life changes, but then you will be okay. You have some choice and control over this situation. This is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, lots of people were thrilled when they got into Mundo Verde and Two Rivers too. And look how that turned out. Did they get a better deal than you? I doubt it.

+100. We got into a charter school that we thought was going to be amazing, and the reality has been very different.

[Anonymous]

And there are plenty of people who have moved to supposedly great school districts in the burbs and been disappointed. Or boundaried out. Or ended up really unhappy at Deal. Or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, hon. You are *much* more in control of this than you think. You *can* stay in your home, if you are willing to open your mind to more schools. It's a choice that you are making. Lots of people attend schools like Langley, Seaton, Burroughs, Miner, etc., and they like it! If that's not what you want, fine. But it's a thing that lots of real people are doing all over the city. You're choosing not to be open-minded and do what you need to do to make a lower-performing school work for your family. But it's a choice. And you'll feel less in despair about this if you recognize that it is a choice.

Oh please. It’s a choice that is no longer tenable in MS.

Lots of people stay for MS. And since OP's child is entering 1st, OP has lots of time to ponder her strategy and figure something out. Right now, she is *choosing* to be unhappy with schools that other people find acceptable. That's her choice, but it's a choice. The self-pity is not necessary.

As the mom of a 5th grader I can tell you MS arrives before you know it. And if OP doesn’t like her IB ES she is not going to like the IB MS. Self-pity isn’t necessary, but neither is delusion or learned helplessness. OP should move and maximize the benefits of moving now.