Fair enough. I told my kid not to bother playing the game for those exact reasons. Kid not stressed and neither are his close friends. |
never change, DCUM you can look at the front page of they NYT every third day and read a story about mental health crisis among teens now. there is a world beyond your kid and his close friends. should you care. |
This. You only think there's a giant problem if you are focused on the tiny number of schools that are highly rejective. Most people aren't obsessed with those colleges and their kids aren't being pressured to compete in those giant applicant pools. Get some perspective, people. If you are concerned about the pressure in applying to the top schools, then don't opt into those processes. Make sure your kid knows that they can be successful at many, many colleges. It's the ivy-or-bust mentality they find at home that is causing the issue, not the existence of those colleges. |
The teen mental health crisis is beyond a small percentage of kids trying to get into selective schools. Your view is myopic. What about social media, gun violence, the pandemic, divisive politics? |
| Wait do I hear this right? Letting every kid who wants to go to Harvard in will solve the teen mental health crisis? |
| nope. you didn't hear that right. literally no one said that. |
Working for common sense gun laws is my job. That doesn't preclude me from seeing other issues. I don't even think we're talking about very selective schools necessarily. My FT residence is in CA and even the UC application system is very hard to navigate, and I think it's better than most. |
Yes, you can care about more than one issue. I agree that the California public system is closer to the tipping point (and I’m not referring only to the UCs). But parents need to understand that we are contributing to the problem by focusing on a small percentage of schools. We are creating the demand and the media doesn’t help. |
+1 basically a return to 20 yrs ago which was a selective but functioning process. |
Do you have any examples of those which are NOT from the Black Common App? |
Yes because you know why this is bad and can tell the difference but the AOs who do it for a living are idiots who cant. 20 years ago it was exactly the same as it is now. Uninformed people like you were making the same kind of uninformed arguments. Doubt me? Search College Confidential for posts from its earliest days. |
Not really fair at all. If my kid wants to apply to 5-7 Elite/T20/Top SLAC but knows they are all true reaches (as they are for EVERYONE), why should that harm them with their targets? If they are willing to research and put in the extra effort to do the essays, why would I stop them. But they would apply to 3-4 targets and 3-4 safeties as well because they are smart enough to realize you need a balanced list and the targets and safeties are where you are most likely gonna end up. So close to 15 schools applied to. But they would do that because they are smart enough to recognize that those 7 are reaches and not very likely at highly rejective schools. IN reality they are only applying to 7-8 schools. Where else my kid applies should have no bearing on the other schools. School X does not need that information to make a decision. It's game playing if we give them that |
That is why the parent is a part of the ED contract. What real numbers do you not know? You run the EFC for that college. If you cannot afford what they say you should pay, then unfortunately you cannot ED there. So if you make $300K but haven't saved for the private school experience, then your kid will need to wait for EA/RD. But if you have saved, you are able to take advantage of ED. It's quite simple. Similarly, if eligible for FA, the EFC will tell you your family contribution. If the school does not cover everything else, you are free to turn it down based on finances. It's legal to do so. |
This 1000%. Parents need to change their perspective and attitudes. You need to prepare your kids for the fact that most kids, despite the stats, do NOT get accepted to an elite/T20 school. Let them know its fine to research and find top schools you would like to attend, but keep them focused and help them get excited about targets and safeties---the schools they are most likely to get into. DO NOT let them have a dream school that is not a Target or safety. Or you are setting them up for major disappointment and possible mental health issues if they cannot deal with that. They need to know that they are not a failure if they attend a school ranked 40th---you have done a huge disservice if they think/feel this way. |
Same. My one kid did not play the games (think 1300 SAT, 3.5 UW gpa--not going to an elite school). They did what they enjoyed in HS for ECs and for classes. Kid is a successful, happy adult, doing extremely well at their first job. Other kid had much higher stats but still didn't fully play the game. Didn't take AP Humanities because they didn't interest them and would have taken extra 10-15 hours/week for each course and my kid wanted to do the EC they loved for 20-25+ hours per week. Choose to let them do what they liked and focus AP courses on their interests. Chose to give them the opportunity to actually sleep 4-5 hours each night vs 2-3 with the APUSH would have meant. They still took 8 APs, but in areas that interested them (STEM). So they didn't get into the T10 or one ranked in the 20s (got WL), but they got into EVERYWHERE else and with excellent merit. And I'm not sure the missing AP courses would have gotten them into those schools. And interestingly, at their top 2 final choices, the "core curriculum" courses can NOT be fulfilled with AP credits---so the only reason my kid thought of taking APUSH or AP English in 11th was to get the college credits and that would not have happened for them. So happy, healthy well adjusted kid who enjoyed HS as much as they could during covid. who btw, loves where they ended up and has no regrets at all |