Would you let your 16-17 year old do this?

[Anonymous]

Not my 16 yo. No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I should say I am shocked how many won’t and go immediately to worse case scenario

And we wonder why kids have so much anxiety, no street smarts, little to no common sense, and just can not handle transitioning to adulthood.

Parents never let them. The generation of be home when the street lights are on, out all day without any phones or ways to contact anyone - somehow kids 1 year away from college can’t do anything without fear mongering moms crying no way! The irony is astounding. And if you say the world was safer then you are in fact wrong and there are plenty of citations to show that.

The OP has seen these kids online on zoom/FaceTime. She can contact a few parents. Said they have a niche group which the OP’s kid can trust would know at the age of 16 or 17 if she is being catfished the last year. I mean come on.

You have to let these kids transition to adults WHILE STILL AT HOME to help them feel confident, smart, and safe, before they leave the nest at 17/18.

I spent a scary night during the pandemic trying to find my DC's friend who had been lured to run away from home by adults posing as teenagers on Discord. MoCo cops who were there told me this was the third Bethesda teenager in 2 weeks' time who they had to track down after some internet scam. PP who's worried about whether we're letting our kids be independent enough, you don't get it. Kids today have infinitely more freedom than kids of my generation - they are engaging with and are exposed to literally thousands of strangers through social media and the internet. Parents should not absolve themselves of common sense to prove they are not helicopter parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should say I am shocked how many won’t and go immediately to worse case scenario

And we wonder why kids have so much anxiety, no street smarts, little to no common sense, and just can not handle transitioning to adulthood.

Parents never let them. The generation of be home when the street lights are on, out all day without any phones or ways to contact anyone - somehow kids 1 year away from college can’t do anything without fear mongering moms crying no way! The irony is astounding. And if you say the world was safer then you are in fact wrong and there are plenty of citations to show that.

The OP has seen these kids online on zoom/FaceTime. She can contact a few parents. Said they have a niche group which the OP’s kid can trust would know at the age of 16 or 17 if she is being catfished the last year. I mean come on.

You have to let these kids transition to adults WHILE STILL AT HOME to help them feel confident, smart, and safe, before they leave the nest at 17/18.

I spent a scary night during the pandemic trying to find my DC's friend who had been lured to run away from home by adults posing as teenagers on Discord. MoCo cops who were there told me this was the third Bethesda teenager in 2 weeks' time who they had to track down after some internet scam. PP who's worried about whether we're letting our kids be independent enough, you don't get it. Kids today have infinitely more freedom than kids of my generation - they are engaging with and are exposed to literally thousands of strangers through social media and the internet. Parents should not absolve themselves of common sense to prove they are not helicopter parents.

OP’s story is nothing like this. It’s like you moms can’t separate anything from a sec trafficker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has online friends from Kpop fan groups. We were in California and she wanted to go meet up with a couple and go to K-town. I let her. She took pics, they looked like nice girls. I'm glad I trusted her. She was 18 BTW.
Can she tell you any more deets about the online friends?

Good grief, what are you, 12?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should say I am shocked how many won’t and go immediately to worse case scenario

And we wonder why kids have so much anxiety, no street smarts, little to no common sense, and just can not handle transitioning to adulthood.

Parents never let them. The generation of be home when the street lights are on, out all day without any phones or ways to contact anyone - somehow kids 1 year away from college can’t do anything without fear mongering moms crying no way! The irony is astounding. And if you say the world was safer then you are in fact wrong and there are plenty of citations to show that.

The OP has seen these kids online on zoom/FaceTime. She can contact a few parents. Said they have a niche group which the OP’s kid can trust would know at the age of 16 or 17 if she is being catfished the last year. I mean come on.

You have to let these kids transition to adults WHILE STILL AT HOME to help them feel confident, smart, and safe, before they leave the nest at 17/18.

I spent a scary night during the pandemic trying to find my DC's friend who had been lured to run away from home by adults posing as teenagers on Discord. MoCo cops who were there told me this was the third Bethesda teenager in 2 weeks' time who they had to track down after some internet scam. PP who's worried about whether we're letting our kids be independent enough, you don't get it. Kids today have infinitely more freedom than kids of my generation - they are engaging with and are exposed to literally thousands of strangers through social media and the internet. Parents should not absolve themselves of common sense to prove they are not helicopter parents.

OP’s story is nothing like this. It’s like you moms can’t separate anything from a sec trafficker.

How is this different? My DC's friend thought their contacts on Discord were teenage friends. What should give the OP confidence that her DC's online "friends" are actually teenagers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like the headlines to a kidnapping /rape story.

+1

Shanquella Robinson was killed by her “friends” in Mexico. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like the headlines to a kidnapping /rape story.

+1

Shanquella Robinson was killed by her “friends” in Mexico. Nope.

Wait so now your kids can’t go anywhere with any kind of friends because 1 person was killed? Do you still send your kids to school each day? Much more likely to get a killed there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should say I am shocked how many won’t and go immediately to worse case scenario

And we wonder why kids have so much anxiety, no street smarts, little to no common sense, and just can not handle transitioning to adulthood.

Parents never let them. The generation of be home when the street lights are on, out all day without any phones or ways to contact anyone - somehow kids 1 year away from college can’t do anything without fear mongering moms crying no way! The irony is astounding. And if you say the world was safer then you are in fact wrong and there are plenty of citations to show that.

The OP has seen these kids online on zoom/FaceTime. She can contact a few parents. Said they have a niche group which the OP’s kid can trust would know at the age of 16 or 17 if she is being catfished the last year. I mean come on.

You have to let these kids transition to adults WHILE STILL AT HOME to help them feel confident, smart, and safe, before they leave the nest at 17/18.

I spent a scary night during the pandemic trying to find my DC's friend who had been lured to run away from home by adults posing as teenagers on Discord. MoCo cops who were there told me this was the third Bethesda teenager in 2 weeks' time who they had to track down after some internet scam. PP who's worried about whether we're letting our kids be independent enough, you don't get it. Kids today have infinitely more freedom than kids of my generation - they are engaging with and are exposed to literally thousands of strangers through social media and the internet. Parents should not absolve themselves of common sense to prove they are not helicopter parents.

OP’s story is nothing like this. It’s like you moms can’t separate anything from a sec trafficker.

How is this different? My DC's friend thought their contacts on Discord were teenage friends. What should give the OP confidence that her DC's online "friends" are actually teenagers?

Because OP has seen and heard the kids through video chat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 16 (almost 17) year old is going to Boston for a one day event with people she met on line several years ago, who have since become good friends. Would you let her fly up by herself, take public transportation to the venue, and then fly home that evening? She is very comfortable with DC public transportation and good at finding her way around. The alternative is that I'd fly up with her.

Weird

[Anonymous]

HELL. NO. Let a 16- year old girl fly out of state to hang out with some online friends that neither of you have ever met in person??? ZERO chance of that happening.

Now I would be willing to fly up with her, get a hotel and let her go off with her friends during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HELL. NO. Let a 16- year old girl fly out of state to hang out with some online friends that neither of you have ever met in person??? ZERO chance of that happening.

Now I would be willing to fly up with her, get a hotel and let her go off with her friends during the day.

OK, so how is this different then? You’ll be in the same city but she’ll be off with people that she’s meeting for first time in person. And even if you insist on meeting them in person too for a minute you won’t know any more about them than you do right now. So it feels safer in some way because you’re in proximity, but your actual concerns aren’t being addressed and I don’t see that this is any different than letting her meet friends on a day trip. I’m in favor of letting kid do this on her own, you don’t keep her any safer just by being in the same city

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HELL. NO. Let a 16- year old girl fly out of state to hang out with some online friends that neither of you have ever met in person??? ZERO chance of that happening.

Now I would be willing to fly up with her, get a hotel and let her go off with her friends during the day.

OK, so how is this different then? You’ll be in the same city but she’ll be off with people that she’s meeting for first time in person. And even if you insist on meeting them in person too for a minute you won’t know any more about them than you do right now. So it feels safer in some way because you’re in proximity, but your actual concerns aren’t being addressed and I don’t see that this is any different than letting her meet friends on a day trip. I’m in favor of letting kid do this on her own, you don’t keep her any safer just by being in the same city

Of course, she's safer if a parent is in the same city! Much easier for her to get out of a situation that is uncomfortable or potentially unsafe if a parent is nearby.

I'd let her go, but go along and be in the backround.

[Anonymous]

I was going to say that you should fly up with her and do your own thing while she does hers.

But at barely 17 I went and visited friends that my parents had never met from a study abroad program in Philly and spent the night in a hotel with no parents involved.

We got alcohol and for the first time in my life I drank. I was a somewhat reserved kid at that age. In retrospect I cannot believe that my parents let me go.

I’m glad that I went. It was an important experience. And that was before the day of cell phones. I don’t even think they knew which hotel I was at, but maybe.