How much money should a 30-year-old male be sending his parents per week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am immigrant. I have White friends who will pay $$ for their elderly parents rent. In their shoes, with the friend's income and the huge homes that they live in, I always wonder why not let your parents live with you?

That way you save your money and they save their money. You are already trying to bail them out and their situation is only deteriorating? Very soon you will be trying to take care of their failing health and put yourself under the immense stress.

Because we live in a society where adults who live with their parents are looked down upon and seen as lazy and unmotivated. Sad but true.

This is one of the reasons why so many young people have so much debt.  I lived at home with my parents until I was 31 years old and saved up 90% of my 140K/year salary.  I drove the same car for nine years that my parents bought for me as a present after college graduation.  I didn't have to pay for rent, food.  I used 10% of my income on car insurance, phone bills, and  two weeks vacation every year to travel to Europe, Asia, or South America.  I put 90% of my salary into high growth investments.  By the time I turned 31 and got married, I had over 2.5M in cash from the money that I invested.  When I met my gf, now my wife, at the age of 29, I explained to her the reason I lived at home, to invest in our future together.  Two days after we got married, I wrote a 200K check to pay off my wife's student loan debt and bought a 400K condo for her parents. 

There is no freedom unless you have financial freedom.

VERY VERY FEW men would so something like this in the year of 2022.

It seems you didn't pick an equally successful partner. What did you do for your own parents?

Huh? I'm single. All I did was acknowledge that very few men want to take care of their partner's family.

And more women want to take care of financial needs of their in-laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are Asian immigrants and we came from well-off families so we did not have to bankroll them. However, I bought a flat in the same building where my brother lives, so that my parents could live there rent-free and my brother could look after them. As a result, they did not have to sell their own huge house and they were able to rent it out for $$$. It made them quite wealthy. My brother has had some financial difficulties but does not take any monetary gift from us unless we beg him to or force him to.

My dad passed away and my mom wants to sell off her house while she is still alive. We all have a share in the house and the money that will come to all of us will be enough for my brother to become financially comfortable. So, my one act of buying a flat/apartment for my parents to live in helped to preserve family house and generated enough wealth that 20 years down the line we all will benefit from it.

Incidently, my brother recently sold off the flat that I had bought for double of what we had paid and with that money, we helped my brother to pay off the mortgage of his own house, + we still have quite a bit left for other costs down the line. My mom remains a wealthy person in property and cash.

To send money to parents so that they can live well, so that your younger siblings can get educated, so that you make some property for security or income generation, helps to life out the entire family from poverty. There is nothing wrong in setting family and relatives to succeed. Rising tide should raise everyone.

There’s a big difference between rising someone out of poverty and tax evasion so that everybody can be rich. Shouldn’t you have paid the taxes on the sale of that apartment? Wasn’t that your income?

umm who said they didn't pay taxes? the house might've been in the mom's name and widows get special tax breaks. This is so racist.. just assuming that asian people aren't pulling their weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am immigrant. I have White friends who will pay $$ for their elderly parents rent. In their shoes, with the friend's income and the huge homes that they live in, I always wonder why not let your parents live with you?

That way you save your money and they save their money. You are already trying to bail them out and their situation is only deteriorating? Very soon you will be trying to take care of their failing health and put yourself under the immense stress.

Because we live in a society where adults who live with their parents are looked down upon and seen as lazy and unmotivated. Sad but true.

This is one of the reasons why so many young people have so much debt.  I lived at home with my parents until I was 31 years old and saved up 90% of my 140K/year salary.  I drove the same car for nine years that my parents bought for me as a present after college graduation.  I didn't have to pay for rent, food.  I used 10% of my income on car insurance, phone bills, and  two weeks vacation every year to travel to Europe, Asia, or South America.  I put 90% of my salary into high growth investments.  By the time I turned 31 and got married, I had over 2.5M in cash from the money that I invested.  When I met my gf, now my wife, at the age of 29, I explained to her the reason I lived at home, to invest in our future together.  Two days after we got married, I wrote a 200K check to pay off my wife's student loan debt and bought a 400K condo for her parents. 

There is no freedom unless you have financial freedom.

VERY VERY FEW men would so something like this in the year of 2022.

It seems you didn't pick an equally successful partner. What did you do for your own parents?

My parents are wealthy enough so they do not need any assistance from me. They will probably leave my brother, sister and I about 30M in inheritance. My wife has so many qualities that money can not buy. There is more to life than just money. Besides, I already have money so I don't need to marry a spouse with money. It was my own mother's idea to pay off my wife's student loan and purchase a condo for my in-law.  I would treat my in-law as if they are my own parents.

So clearly the path to financial freedom is to have very wealthy parents. But we knew that. And of course you can save 90% of your income if you don't need to contribute to household expenses and likely had your own wing of the mansion. Sadly not everyone is born to wealthy parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So clearly the path to financial freedom is to have very wealthy parents. But we knew that. And of course you can save 90% of your income if you don't need to contribute to household expenses and likely had your own wing of the mansion. Sadly not everyone is born to wealthy parents.

You don't have to have wealthy parents to achieve financial freedom. It is not difficult to achieve by: 1- get good grades in high school; 2- attend UVA for CS or Engineering (Financial Aid is available if you're poor); 3- work for Google, Amazon, or Apple as a SWE; 4- live frugal; 5- Invest wisely. not so difficult, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers have pensions, social security, and everything else they have robbed from us. Zero.

Actually, we were the first generation to be paying into the system from the start of our work years, funding our elders who never had put into the system that did not yet exist. But at least Boomers respect their elders.

Most of the Boomers “elders” are dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're a male over 30, how much money did you send your parents each week when you were 30? If you have a son over 30, how much did they send you each week?

It depends.

1. Your relationship with them and your will to help.

2. Nature of their need.

3. Your income, necessary expenses and leftover amount.

4. Contributions of other siblings?

5. Availability of other solutions.

6. Your partner or spouse's reaction and how you convince or divorce them.

[Anonymous]

$0

Is there some emergency or something? If so call a family meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so cultural. For my family, $0. I know 30 year olds who TAKE money for down payments or kids tuition (though not monthly).

This. Children in the US don’t regularly send money to their parents. My parents were immigrants and often sent money back home, but their families were basically living in poverty in their home country. My mother earned enough money here in the states in her late twenties to pay to build a proper home for her family so they could move out of the stone cottage they were living in. But they never would have expected money from me.

That’s typical economic migrant wage arbitrage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are asking mostly people who grew up in America with parents who were born in America (as I’m assuming is the majority DCUM demographic): $0.

If you want answers specific to another cultural group, please put that type of specifics in your original post so that those with direct experience can reply.

Americans usually have the pay it forward attitude, not pay it backwards. Parents don’t want to be a burden to their adult children (& their young families) so save their money, downsize when elderly, and have long term care insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$0. Money rolls downhill. I’d hope my son was saving for a down payment or taking wonderful trips with a spouse before kids arrive.

If he hasn't had kids by 30, he's probably not going to.

What country or religion or region is the above statement relevant for?

Some men have children for decades amongst many women out of wedlock. Alternately, some men are just getting out of grad school in mid to late 20s and moving cities, so not married and having kids yet. Society can be quite mobile in the MC and UMC U.S.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't send my parents money. I make a lot of money so I bought my parents a 1M+ condo in McLean and let them live there. I also manage my parents' finances with a monthly budget of 15K/month. Their retirement pension, 401K, SS add up to be 5K/month so I contribute 10K/month. FWIW, I was born and raised in China, came to the US at the age of 12.

That’s very generous giving them $100k/ year of your family’s after tax income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some Republicans are trying to end Social Security and if they succeed, people will need to support the olds financially because for many that's all they have.

You mean make it privatized so it stays at an individual pool not a socialized pool of money that’s a ponzu scheme that the federal govt takes loans out against to pay itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread went pretty much exactly how I expected it would when I opened it.

First commenters completely nonplussed, even offended.

Next commenters coming in, noting brown immigrants exist. Huge swath of DCUM who thought like the first group now mostly shamed into silence.

Conversation becomes about "cultural differences" between US-born and immigrants. Completely missing how common this is among Black families and/or any family where the parents are not near the same economic class as the kids.

A couple of others do make this point, but are mostly ignored, as the conversation devolves into broad generalizations about political parties and various generations, because most of DCUM has nothing to add to any sort of real discussion of class and race that is not UMC-to-wealthy and about 80% white.

Many young grandmothers are the main caretaker of their grandkids while their young daughter, a single mother, works out of the home. This is very common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$0 at any age. Why would an adult child send money to his parents?

Hello white privilege. Talk to any nanny on the playground or taxi driver. They’re sending home the money they pays for a house/school fees/business expenses/medical bills at home.

And they make half or more of their income on the black market, avoiding taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am immigrant. I have White friends who will pay $$ for their elderly parents rent. In their shoes, with the friend's income and the huge homes that they live in, I always wonder why not let your parents live with you?

That way you save your money and they save their money. You are already trying to bail them out and their situation is only deteriorating? Very soon you will be trying to take care of their failing health and put yourself under the immense stress.

Because we live in a society where adults who live with their parents are looked down upon and seen as lazy and unmotivated. Sad but true.

Let’s not turn a blind eye to the drama and strings attached to moving one set of parents (of the two) into the eldest brother’s house (and not the other siblings’).