Swim Team Volunteering - it helps if you are nice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there was any doubt how b-itchy swim team moms are, one need only read this thread.

I find it no b-itchier than the rest of DCUM. What exactly do you object to?

If you have read through this thread and do not understand the problem, then you in fact are part of the problem.

DCUM is always much b-itchier then in real life.
People don’t agree with OP and her complaints don’t make a lot of sense. But I’ve seen some horrible threads and there is nothing super offensive here.

A lot of us know exactly what OP is talking about. The veterans treat you like a moron for not knowing what’s going on but sure as hell aren’t going to explain anything!

OP didn’t even ask! It’s unclear what she doesn’t understand.
I love the poster who said their team had mentors/buddies for new members. I think that’s a great idea.

She said no one but the lifeguards and some kids spoke to her the entire 90 minutes she was there.

So no. She didn’t ask. Did she approach them?
I guess I would be considered a veteran parent. No one came and approached me. I approached people and asked questions I didn’t understand. People aren’t mind readers.

You aren't helping your case. You don't sound friendly or welcoming at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have older kids. I don't even have time to talk to the adults I do know and by now I know a lot of them and maybe have 30 minutes a week to talk to all of them. I am now responsible for a lot of things beyond just swim and simply don't have the bandwidth and I am not a leader in anything other than my small job I sign up for each week at the pool so I'm not the welcoming committee in any way. Most of the parents with younger kids don't want to talk to me. They want to talk to other moms with 6 year olds. If I am a timer, I talk to the people I'm timing with. If I do clerk of course, I talk to them. I don't spend extra minutes trying to meet the new parents. A lot of this is someone just not signing up for stuff and expecting everyone else to be like a kindergarten teacher. Our social chair this year has been at the pool for one year and her oldest is 9. I guarantee that the following year that position the the mom with four kids whose youngest is finishing their last years is going to give that position up and then it's all yours if you want it.

This is a lot of words to state the following, which is how many people feel:

I have my friends and I don't need new ones. The end. This is the way a lot of people feel. But as this person also points out (with too many words), there are newbies who don't feel this way, so find them. Eventually and organically over time, you will morph into this cranky person above. And the cycle will continue.

Haha so true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there was any doubt how b-itchy swim team moms are, one need only read this thread.

I find it no b-itchier than the rest of DCUM. What exactly do you object to?

Because these moms are actually behaving this way IRL, not just on the internet. This is actually how swim team feels to those of us not on the “in.”

Once you get past the coordinators it’s a little better. I’m one of the people that times and I’ve found the other timers are also people not on the “in” because you can’t really sit around socializing and gossiping, so most of the veteran families stay away from the timer slots. The other timers will help you if you are nervous to volunteer for a slot. Experienced ones from the opposing team helped me when I started, and I always help the new people regardless of what team they are from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there was any doubt how b-itchy swim team moms are, one need only read this thread.

I find it no b-itchier than the rest of DCUM. What exactly do you object to?

If you have read through this thread and do not understand the problem, then you in fact are part of the problem.

DCUM is always much b-itchier then in real life.
People don’t agree with OP and her complaints don’t make a lot of sense. But I’ve seen some horrible threads and there is nothing super offensive here.

A lot of us know exactly what OP is talking about. The veterans treat you like a moron for not knowing what’s going on but sure as hell aren’t going to explain anything!

OP didn’t even ask! It’s unclear what she doesn’t understand.
I love the poster who said their team had mentors/buddies for new members. I think that’s a great idea.

She said no one but the lifeguards and some kids spoke to her the entire 90 minutes she was there.

So no. She didn’t ask. Did she approach them?
I guess I would be considered a veteran parent. No one came and approached me. I approached people and asked questions I didn’t understand. People aren’t mind readers.

You aren't helping your case. You don't sound friendly or welcoming at all.

I’m very friendly. If someone approaches me, I will gladly answer questions or chat. But - yeah - I’m not gonna roll out the red carpet and fall over myself offering to answer questions I am unaware they have. If a volunteer is more work than they bring to the table, it’s not worth it.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. A lot of you are terrible at reading comprehension. Thank you to the people who get it. Thank you also to the jerks who proved my point.

1. It was not a meet. It was a social event. The shifts were named “set up”, “monitor event”, and “clean up”. I signed up for “monitor event”.
2. I showed up and said “I signed up for the monitor event shift, how can I help?” And I was snapped at “the real work was set up” and I was given no further instructions. The kids were making spirit items for an upcoming meet. I watched for a few minutes to see what kids were struggling and helped them. I stayed to clean up because it appeared no one else was going to do it.
3. I don’t need a long discussion. Once the event was running and kids were occupied, an adult could have said “are you new?” Or “who is your kid?” Or anything to acknowledge that I was not some random adult who wandered off the street.
As I was carrying tables or taking out trash at the end, someone could have said “thanks! See you next time.”
4. I volunteer for all kinds of school and preschool stuff. I am capable and responsible. I show up early and I humbly observe and take direction from experienced parents to learn how things are done. I manage a team at work and I’ve been a program manager for a large consulting firm - I know a thing or two about running a team volunteer or otherwise.

I don’t need a welcome wagon. I don’t need new best friends. I just want to be treated like a my presence is welcome instead of being snapped at for the offense of doing literally what I was asked. The cherry on top was having to listen to the team coordinator gossip / complain loudly about the lack of volunteers while I still had paint under my nails from volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there was any doubt how b-itchy swim team moms are, one need only read this thread.

I find it no b-itchier than the rest of DCUM. What exactly do you object to?

If you have read through this thread and do not understand the problem, then you in fact are part of the problem.

DCUM is always much b-itchier then in real life.
People don’t agree with OP and her complaints don’t make a lot of sense. But I’ve seen some horrible threads and there is nothing super offensive here.

A lot of us know exactly what OP is talking about. The veterans treat you like a moron for not knowing what’s going on but sure as hell aren’t going to explain anything!

OP didn’t even ask! It’s unclear what she doesn’t understand.
I love the poster who said their team had mentors/buddies for new members. I think that’s a great idea.

She said no one but the lifeguards and some kids spoke to her the entire 90 minutes she was there.

So no. She didn’t ask. Did she approach them?
I guess I would be considered a veteran parent. No one came and approached me. I approached people and asked questions I didn’t understand. People aren’t mind readers.

You aren't helping your case. You don't sound friendly or welcoming at all.

I’m very friendly. If someone approaches me, I will gladly answer questions or chat. But - yeah - I’m not gonna roll out the red carpet and fall over myself offering to answer questions I am unaware they have. If a volunteer is more work than they bring to the table, it’s not worth it.

I don't think this word means what you think it means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. A lot of you are terrible at reading comprehension. Thank you to the people who get it. Thank you also to the jerks who proved my point.

1. It was not a meet. It was a social event. The shifts were named “set up”, “monitor event”, and “clean up”. I signed up for “monitor event”.
2. I showed up and said “I signed up for the monitor event shift, how can I help?” And I was snapped at “the real work was set up” and I was given no further instructions. The kids were making spirit items for an upcoming meet. I watched for a few minutes to see what kids were struggling and helped them. I stayed to clean up because it appeared no one else was going to do it.
3. I don’t need a long discussion. Once the event was running and kids were occupied, an adult could have said “are you new?” Or “who is your kid?” Or anything to acknowledge that I was not some random adult who wandered off the street.
As I was carrying tables or taking out trash at the end, someone could have said “thanks! See you next time.”
4. I volunteer for all kinds of school and preschool stuff. I am capable and responsible. I show up early and I humbly observe and take direction from experienced parents to learn how things are done. I manage a team at work and I’ve been a program manager for a large consulting firm - I know a thing or two about running a team volunteer or otherwise.

I don’t need a welcome wagon. I don’t need new best friends. I just want to be treated like a my presence is welcome instead of being snapped at for the offense of doing literally what I was asked. The cherry on top was having to listen to the team coordinator gossip / complain loudly about the lack of volunteers while I still had paint under my nails from volunteering.

You clearly do need the welcome wagon. EVERYONE there is a volunteer, OP. Why do you specifically need to be thanked, when everyone is volunteering?

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why you are so focused on being thanked. I timed last meet and no one thanked me - why would they?
I will also ask OP, did you thank the other volunteers at the social?
I’m sorry about the initial snarky comment, but otherwise i really don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. A lot of you are terrible at reading comprehension. Thank you to the people who get it. Thank you also to the jerks who proved my point.

1. It was not a meet. It was a social event. The shifts were named “set up”, “monitor event”, and “clean up”. I signed up for “monitor event”.
2. I showed up and said “I signed up for the monitor event shift, how can I help?” And I was snapped at “the real work was set up” and I was given no further instructions. The kids were making spirit items for an upcoming meet. I watched for a few minutes to see what kids were struggling and helped them. I stayed to clean up because it appeared no one else was going to do it.
3. I don’t need a long discussion. Once the event was running and kids were occupied, an adult could have said “are you new?” Or “who is your kid?” Or anything to acknowledge that I was not some random adult who wandered off the street.
As I was carrying tables or taking out trash at the end, someone could have said “thanks! See you next time.”
4. I volunteer for all kinds of school and preschool stuff. I am capable and responsible. I show up early and I humbly observe and take direction from experienced parents to learn how things are done. I manage a team at work and I’ve been a program manager for a large consulting firm - I know a thing or two about running a team volunteer or otherwise.

I don’t need a welcome wagon. I don’t need new best friends. I just want to be treated like a my presence is welcome instead of being snapped at for the offense of doing literally what I was asked. The cherry on top was having to listen to the team coordinator gossip / complain loudly about the lack of volunteers while I still had paint under my nails from volunteering.

You clearly do need the welcome wagon. EVERYONE there is a volunteer, OP. Why do you specifically need to be thanked, when everyone is volunteering?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. A lot of you are terrible at reading comprehension. Thank you to the people who get it. Thank you also to the jerks who proved my point.

1. It was not a meet. It was a social event. The shifts were named “set up”, “monitor event”, and “clean up”. I signed up for “monitor event”.
2. I showed up and said “I signed up for the monitor event shift, how can I help?” And I was snapped at “the real work was set up” and I was given no further instructions. The kids were making spirit items for an upcoming meet. I watched for a few minutes to see what kids were struggling and helped them. I stayed to clean up because it appeared no one else was going to do it.
3. I don’t need a long discussion. Once the event was running and kids were occupied, an adult could have said “are you new?” Or “who is your kid?” Or anything to acknowledge that I was not some random adult who wandered off the street.
As I was carrying tables or taking out trash at the end, someone could have said “thanks! See you next time.”
4. I volunteer for all kinds of school and preschool stuff. I am capable and responsible. I show up early and I humbly observe and take direction from experienced parents to learn how things are done. I manage a team at work and I’ve been a program manager for a large consulting firm - I know a thing or two about running a team volunteer or otherwise.

I don’t need a welcome wagon. I don’t need new best friends. I just want to be treated like a my presence is welcome instead of being snapped at for the offense of doing literally what I was asked. The cherry on top was having to listen to the team coordinator gossip / complain loudly about the lack of volunteers while I still had paint under my nails from volunteering.

OP, you did absolutely nothing wrong, and wanting the bold is not asking for too much. Sadly, my kids did swim team for 7 years and the "swim parents" in charge behaved exactly like you described and it did not get any better. I was very glad this year when my kids decided on their own they were done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there was any doubt how b-itchy swim team moms are, one need only read this thread.

I find it no b-itchier than the rest of DCUM. What exactly do you object to?

If you have read through this thread and do not understand the problem, then you in fact are part of the problem.

DCUM is always much b-itchier then in real life.
People don’t agree with OP and her complaints don’t make a lot of sense. But I’ve seen some horrible threads and there is nothing super offensive here.

A lot of us know exactly what OP is talking about. The veterans treat you like a moron for not knowing what’s going on but sure as hell aren’t going to explain anything!

OP didn’t even ask! It’s unclear what she doesn’t understand.
I love the poster who said their team had mentors/buddies for new members. I think that’s a great idea.

She said no one but the lifeguards and some kids spoke to her the entire 90 minutes she was there.

So no. She didn’t ask. Did she approach them?
I guess I would be considered a veteran parent. No one came and approached me. I approached people and asked questions I didn’t understand. People aren’t mind readers.

You aren't helping your case. You don't sound friendly or welcoming at all.

I’m very friendly. If someone approaches me, I will gladly answer questions or chat. But - yeah - I’m not gonna roll out the red carpet and fall over myself offering to answer questions I am unaware they have. If a volunteer is more work than they bring to the table, it’s not worth it.

I don't think this word means what you think it means.

From the dictionary. Friendly is “kind and pleasant”. Friendly does not mean I have to approach everyone in my radius with greetings. You don’t sound so friendly yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. A lot of you are terrible at reading comprehension. Thank you to the people who get it. Thank you also to the jerks who proved my point.

1. It was not a meet. It was a social event. The shifts were named “set up”, “monitor event”, and “clean up”. I signed up for “monitor event”.
2. I showed up and said “I signed up for the monitor event shift, how can I help?” And I was snapped at “the real work was set up” and I was given no further instructions. The kids were making spirit items for an upcoming meet. I watched for a few minutes to see what kids were struggling and helped them. I stayed to clean up because it appeared no one else was going to do it.
3. I don’t need a long discussion. Once the event was running and kids were occupied, an adult could have said “are you new?” Or “who is your kid?” Or anything to acknowledge that I was not some random adult who wandered off the street.
As I was carrying tables or taking out trash at the end, someone could have said “thanks! See you next time.”
4. I volunteer for all kinds of school and preschool stuff. I am capable and responsible. I show up early and I humbly observe and take direction from experienced parents to learn how things are done. I manage a team at work and I’ve been a program manager for a large consulting firm - I know a thing or two about running a team volunteer or otherwise.

I don’t need a welcome wagon. I don’t need new best friends. I just want to be treated like a my presence is welcome instead of being snapped at for the offense of doing literally what I was asked. The cherry on top was having to listen to the team coordinator gossip / complain loudly about the lack of volunteers while I still had paint under my nails from volunteering.

I find it hard to believe this comment is so offensive to you if you manage a team at work. You can be volunteering and there can also be a shortage of volunteers and that comment isn’t directed at you. Stop listening in on conversations if you’re so easily offended.

[Anonymous]

I think this board is a hard forum on which to connect. At our pool, I hope you wouldn’t have that experience as I think it is a welcoming place and we try to go out of our way to include new parents. But a good reminder to check myself as I likely think I am doing “the right thing.”

I hope summer swim gets better for you, op. My two kids actually call the team pool “magical” and I want an experience like that for all kids.

[Anonymous]

That stinks, OP. if the majority of the work was the set up, that should’ve been made clear in earlier communications.

Some of the parents are such martyrs. Steer clear.

[Anonymous]

OP, you did nothing wrong, and many of the responders are making me super glad my own kids have never done swim.