Swim Team Volunteering - it helps if you are nice

[Anonymous]

After so, so many emails about volunteering, the message on the team website about volunteer opportunities, the Welcome to Swim Zoom call, and then listening to our team’s parent reps stand behind me at practice and loudly complain about the lack of volunteers and how they should just cancel socials and all fun things to “show the parents not to take it for granted”, I signed up for a volunteer spot for the Saturday social. It’s our first year on swim team and my kid is a “mini” who didn’t even go to the social.

I showed up 5 min before my assigned time, dressed appropriately to help. I introduced myself to the lead of the activity and was told “well the real work was the set up.” I then stood around for 90 minutes trying to make myself useful and then cleaned up, took out trash, and carried tables. The lifeguards said hi to me because they know my kids. The neighborhood kids said hi to me and thanked me for helping them. No adults spoke to me except to point where to put the tables at the end of the event. No adults assisted the little kids - only me and the lifeguards/HS age coaches. The “experienced” swim team parents just talked among themselves.

So if you want volunteers for your team, maybe try being nice to the people who volunteer or at least not talking smack about parents in front of the parents of 5-6 yr olds who are learning how everything works. 3 weeks into practice and 1 home meet we cheered for, swim is feeling really cliquish. I was hoping to learn the major volunteer roles this year while my kid is not in meets, but I’m feeling pretty discouraged.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, op, I agree it can be pretty bad. Now all the swim parents who insist every meet is like (and must always be like) landing at Normandy are going to yell at you though.

[Anonymous]

Yes, swim team is hard to break into and no one explains anything to you.

I had a similar thing at a PTA-sponsored end of year party after school. PTA Queen Bee and I had signed up to run the same activity. I walk up to a group of women chatting which includes Queen Bee and say, hi I'm Larla I think we're supervising the XYZ together. She turns to me and says, oh Sue and I are talking about PTA things and then turns back to Sue and they ignore me. She proceeds to do nothing to supervise the event and lets me do it while standing around chatting with her PTA pals and then leaves halfway through the party without even letting me know she was leaving.

Gee, I'm so motivated to volunteer for your PTA events now.

[Anonymous]

At our old pool, swim team parents were the worst. They were a tight clique who were not welcoming to new families unless their kids are superstar swimmers.

[Anonymous]

Swim teams are generally run by power hungry swim moms that have nothing else in their lives. Just keep your head low and stay out of their way.

[Anonymous]

I swear every summer swim team post makes me more and more glad that my kids don't want to do it.

[Anonymous]

I agree. It was similar at our pool in McLean, but I'm an extreme extrovert and got through it. I don't know why it's so hard for people to be friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Swim teams are generally run by power hungry swim moms that have nothing else in their lives. Just keep your head low and stay out of their way.

This is so true. It's like they base their entire identity around the six weeks of summer swim. I'm pretty sure they hibernate the other 10.5 months.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. This was our summer swim team experience at our old pool as well. The pool overall was super friendly, but the swim team parents were not welcoming to new people at all. It was the same group of parents whose multiple kids have swum together for years, and it was just extremely cliquish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. This was our summer swim team experience at our old pool as well. The pool overall was super friendly, but the swim team parents were not welcoming to new people at all. It was the same group of parents whose multiple kids have swum together for years, and it was just extremely cliquish.

Do what I do...embrace it. I go in with a mug of coffee, sit in the back, ignore all the parents, watch the swimming, grab my kid, and leave. It's fantastic!
And in my club you can volunteer to bring food instead of having to do a job, so that makes it even easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear every summer swim team post makes me more and more glad that my kids don't want to do it.

Our summer swim team is nothing like most of these posts. When I volunteered to be a clerk of course last year as a total newbie, one of the OG parents took me under her wing and taught me everything she knew. Other parents chimed in. Everyone is super supportive. This year, the team reps have been SO thankful to me for volunteering as head clerk of course, and I have tried to pass on what I know.

All that said, I wouldn’t (and don’t) live in many of the neighborhoods prized by DCUM. I have a hunch that’s part of it.

[Anonymous]

Our team can be like this too, OP. There’s a small group of moms who volunteer for things like social chair, secretary, etc. Those positions mean you don’t have to work at the meets. They then sit at the meets and gossip about other people, including little kids(!) and act like they are better because they are in these leadership type positions. Not surprisingly they do the same thing at their kids’ schools in the PTA. Their kids are pretty fast and they are super invested in this and are super high strung at the A meets. Ironically there are a few of us parents who were elite swimmers and we volunteer for timer, clerk of course, etc. and just generally keep our mouths shut. We achieved what these parents can only dream of for their kids and we have seen the good bad and ugly of the sport so we just let our children enjoy it for what it is. Sometimes they talk to me and try to drag me into the snark because they know my background and because my kid is fairly fast, but I do not want to be a part of it. It’s easy for me to not be intimidated by these moms because I know the sport and am confident in my approach to being a swim parent and how the volunteer positions work. But I can totally see how daunting it could be for people who are new to the team. I really try to be nice to everyone and answer questions/explain things. But I will never volunteer for a leadership position as long as those women are running things.

[Anonymous]

These posts are so weird. Everyone on our summer swim team is so nice.

[Anonymous]

Yes - new to swim and am so confused about everything. Would be nice if there was some introductions or something.
Also maybe leave some easy volunteering jobs for the new parents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts are so weird. Everyone on our summer swim team is so nice.

This was my experience also. Summer swim team was the main way we got to know people when we were new to our neighborhood. People were very warm and welcoming. I’m sorry to hear it’s different in other neighborhoods. It’s hard to tell ahead of time if you’re moving to a friendly neighborhood. I guess we were fortunate and lucked out.