Your Holiday Table

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It sounds like for many people Thanksgiving is about someone serving them an all-you-can-eat buffet, without any food touching, and without any regard to the person who cooked all day. Are you people five?

In my family, there is no one person who "cooked all day." Let me guess: in your family, one woman does it all? Nope! In my family, we all make or bring dishes, in addition to the hosts, as in I cook *and so does my husband.*

So our family collectively makes a feast, and then we all help ourselves to whatever we want, however we want it, in what quantity we please, with no observation or judgment from the hosts.

Nope. Not a woman. A male family member does the entire meal and enjoys it. Sorry to disappoint you in your gleeful attempt at stereotyping Internet strangers. But I have cooked it all myself in the past and I’m a woman. No, I didn’t feel victimized, my parents are elderly and I cooked for them and their friends a few years. No, I didn’t ask their friends to bring food.

Well done, PP. I appreciate it. I was gearing up to do it and saw you had already taken care of the snarky one. Thank you! DP.

NP .

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

I am responding to how "shocked" you are that people "don't understand" that Thanksgiving can be a formal, plated meal without tons of delicious, homey sides. I *understand* that...I just don't want that. I'm "shocked" that you "don't understand" that some people would never want that kind of meal on a holiday.

I think we're just "shocked" that you are so rude and that you're so unwilling to concede that others may have different practices. Perhaps (I am being generous using this word because I am trying to stay in the spirit of the season) you are different in real life but posting here you come across as a judgmental ignoramus. I also am completely "shocked" that you have anyone who is willing to invite you to their house.

DP.

DP, who has read the back and forth (why, I don't know). I think it's likely relatively unusual to plate Thanksgiving dinner and that, coupled with more than a little haughtiness from the chef, is what's setting people off. There's this "how can you not know that I serve a gourmet, plated, Thanksgiving meal!?!" attitude that's very off-putting.

And really, no one called the chef PP directly rude, it was a generic comment about plating, and s/he took personal offense and can't let go. It's strange.

I don’t think it’s the same person on the thread bc I’m not the chef and I’ve made a few posts in defense of him or her. But I agree the idea of plating has really set a lot of people off for whatever reason.

I also have made some posts in defense of the chef. I really think it is just one person who has gone postal though about the plating. Whoever it is needs help. Everyone else seems to be going with the flow.

Several people have said they don't prefer plating and why, including one who said #teamnoplate.

[Anonymous]

I am just about to order some floral centerpieces & got some linen tablecloths/napkins in holiday colors. I like linen bz I can wash & maybe steam it maybe not (wrinkles don't bother me).

I have silver but don't use it & don't have fancy china.

The food I keep in the kitchen on the island & we serve ourselves. In my experience we all have really strong Thxgiving preferences but honestly we are also a casual household & always go buffet no matter who the guests are or how many. No, I am not offended by plating.

I love to put paper leaves around the table & have us all write on them what we are grateful for.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at the number of people who don’t understand that a plated sit-down dinner doesn’t necessarily include green bean casserole. Or multi-main courses. Or 30 side dishes. I suppose it could, but there are a lot of assumptions about other people’s holiday traditions and why they are “rude” or wrong.

DP...I don't want to be part of a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't include tons of side dishes. No thanks, I go to plenty of upscale meals and catered affairs throughout the year. Twice a year, I want a meal to be purely homey and nostalgic.

Great. Nobody is making you. It doesn’t mean families who do it differently are wrong. And I hope you’re the one doing the cooking with an attitude like that.

I am responding to how "shocked" you are that people "don't understand" that Thanksgiving can be a formal, plated meal without tons of delicious, homey sides. I *understand* that...I just don't want that. I'm "shocked" that you "don't understand" that some people would never want that kind of meal on a holiday.

I think we're just "shocked" that you are so rude and that you're so unwilling to concede that others may have different practices. Perhaps (I am being generous using this word because I am trying to stay in the spirit of the season) you are different in real life but posting here you come across as a judgmental ignoramus. I also am completely "shocked" that you have anyone who is willing to invite you to their house.

DP.

DP, who has read the back and forth (why, I don't know). I think it's likely relatively unusual to plate Thanksgiving dinner and that, coupled with more than a little haughtiness from the chef, is what's setting people off. There's this "how can you not know that I serve a gourmet, plated, Thanksgiving meal!?!" attitude that's very off-putting.

And really, no one called the chef PP directly rude, it was a generic comment about plating, and s/he took personal offense and can't let go. It's strange.

I don’t think it’s the same person on the thread bc I’m not the chef and I’ve made a few posts in defense of him or her. But I agree the idea of plating has really set a lot of people off for whatever reason.

I also have made some posts in defense of the chef. I really think it is just one person who has gone postal though about the plating. Whoever it is needs help. Everyone else seems to be going with the flow.

Several people have said they don't prefer plating and why, including one who said #teamnoplate.

+1 I also said no plating. This would be a disaster in my house. One doesn't like food touching, another is vegan and eats a limited menu, kids won't eat half the food and don't want it on their plate, another is meat and potatoes only, this one only wants dark mean, another only white and on and on. Just let the people eat what they want and everyone stays happy without waiting for complicated instructions before dishing out each plate as the food gets cold. Great idea for some, but most people are reacting based on their own preferences and experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 20 to 25 for Thanksgiving and the only way I can manage all of those people is to have a buffet. I also don't have china and silverware and use some old flatware my mother gave me (all mixed from the past 40 years). I have a small dining room with a narrow table so there is no room for centerpieces. I have to set up a separate table in the kitchen to seat everyone.

I cook for 4 days and always get raves on the food. Some stay over for 2 nights and we eat leftovers for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We have a great time even though I am "uncouth". Hospitality is not about how you set the table and serve, it's being welcoming. Not everyone has a huge house with a large dining room, get out of your bubble.

You are not uncouth. You are a gracious host and I would love to be invited to your home for Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Tablecloth, china, silver, cloth napkins, crystal wine glasses. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years are the only times we pull all that out, it's fun .

I usually have a bouquet of flowers (short/low so people can see each other over it) or candles as a centerpiece.

Food is served on a buffet. Gravy, butter, breadbasket, salt & pepper on the table.

[Anonymous]

I hate ironing but used the clothes dryer instead!
Like using the table linens.

[Anonymous]

Yes to table cloth, small center piece, good China
No to cloth napkins (use seasonally appropriate paper ones), don’t own crystal or fancy silverware just us everyday.

[Anonymous]

I like using the china, linens, etc. If you have them and don’t ever use them, why do you have them?