Should you tell your adult children

[Anonymous]

If your FIL married three times, should you share the information with you children as family history? My sister thinks her kids should know but her husband’s family never never talked about it so may be it’s his place to tell, not hers?

[Anonymous]

So the kid's grandfather has been married 3 times? I can't imagine why that would be a secret? Were the other 2 times before the kid's grandmother? No kids?

This is not a big deal. My grandfather was married before my grandmother. His wife died (of scarlet fever I think, so thanks vaccines) and he married my grandmother 2 years later. Obviously I wouldn't exist if she hadn't died, but it's really nothing more than an interesting tidbit.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it matters. If anyone decides to research their family history they’ll figure it out.

[Anonymous]

It's not that big a deal. I found out about my father's early marriage when we cleaned out my grandma's attic, and aside from being stunned that a super mega hottie would marry my nerd ass dad, it was no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Divorce without a legit reason is a social taboo in their family and social circle. There were no kids from those marriages. Her MIL was the third one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce without a legit reason is a social taboo in their family and social circle. There were no kids from those marriages. Her MIL was the third one.

Even more reason to tell. Yes I absolutely would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce without a legit reason is a social taboo in their family and social circle. There were no kids from those marriages. Her MIL was the third one.

Even more reason to tell. Yes I absolutely would.

Why more reason?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce without a legit reason is a social taboo in their family and social circle. There were no kids from those marriages. Her MIL was the third one.

Even more reason to tell. Yes I absolutely would.

+1 Stop the shaming and unrealistic ideas of what's acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Both of his marriages ended due to his bad temper and inability to handle mother’s meddling, which would taint image of their grandpa for children.

[Anonymous]

It went on in third marriage as well but grandma was a match for her husband and his mother so they backed off.

[Anonymous]

This was kept a secret in my spouse’s family from him and his siblings. The children of the grandfather knew. Imagine the shock when an unknown to the grandchildren aunt showed up at the funeral from a previous marriage and the ensuing scene.

[Anonymous]

Their marriage was reasonably successful after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of his marriages ended due to his bad temper and inability to handle mother’s meddling, which would taint image of their grandpa for children.

These are adult children. By now, they should know Grandpa has a temper and an inability to set emotional boundaries with family. They should also know that NOT being able to control those things can destroy relationships you hold dear.

Grandpa is human. He made mistakes. I think this is information I would share. Especially if he has some "holier than thou" personality now (which I don't know if he does or not). But if this information would "taint" their image of him, they have unrealistic expectations already and it would maybe help the whole family grow and learn. Marriage mistakes are not life enders. They are just mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was kept a secret in my spouse’s family from him and his siblings. The children of the grandfather knew. Imagine the shock when an unknown to the grandchildren aunt showed up at the funeral from a previous marriage and the ensuing scene.

This is why everyone should have known already. This "aunt" knew exactly what she was doing. Clever broad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was kept a secret in my spouse’s family from him and his siblings. The children of the grandfather knew. Imagine the shock when an unknown to the grandchildren aunt showed up at the funeral from a previous marriage and the ensuing scene.

Must be a shock. Nephew’s Grandpa is already dead and there weren’t any children from other marriages.