Why do schools ask us to do so much extra crap?!?

[Anonymous]

Today my child was asked to bring in a single flower. Yesterday wear green. Over the years, I can think of countless things that are requested that are such a huge hassle and pain in the butt. We had to detour 20 min in the morning to buy this flower. I could have and should have just blown off the request but I didn’t want my kid to be the kid who didn’t bring one.

I don’t mind as much if we have notice and can order in advance. Want some stickers for Valentine’s Day? Fine.

I especially hate spirit week where it is daily. Twin day is the absolute worst. Or wear your favorite baseball team. Rant over.

[Anonymous]

And we are well off and money is non issue. I can’t only imagine how burdensome it is for people where these extra costs might make a difference in their everyday living.

The school will say the day before, “don’t forget to wear green.” My daughter doesn’t own anything green the same way my friend’s son may not have anything red to wear for Valentine’s Day. Maybe schools should tell us everything in advance instead of the day prior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And we are well off and money is non issue. I can’t only imagine how burdensome it is for people where these extra costs might make a difference in their everyday living.

The school will say the day before, “don’t forget to wear green.” My daughter doesn’t own anything green the same way my friend’s son may not have anything red to wear for Valentine’s Day. Maybe schools should tell us everything in advance instead of the day prior.

+100 I'm so thankful that my kids' school didn't do a lot of this and, for the most part, my kids didn't want to do any of the "dress like..." things anyway.

[Anonymous]

This is a wealthy school district issue. My guess is bored SAHMs drive these things- they like getting the pictures, they like coming up with "fun" things to do at school, they like forcing ridiculous fund raisers and events so they can sponsor over the top assemblies, they like throwing elaborate school parties that require parents to either contribute a lot of money or sign up for something dumb. Social media drives it too. I went to a top public school in the 90s and we didn't do any of this and our mothers weren't making chalk posters for us to hold on the first day of school.


Again, just a guess. High(er) FARMS schools don't do any of that. Likely bc it will be ignored by most parents.

[Anonymous]

I actually structured my whole adult life so I would always have time for stuff like this. My parents both worked high powered jobs and I was always acutely aware that there wasn’t time for anything. Like if I broke a glass, it wasn’t that they were mad at me for breaking the glass, but now we were going to be late and I could feel the stress.

Here are some options:
1) don’t wear green. Teach your kid to say “I didn’t have any green clothes but I have green snot today” or something, whatever. You don’t have to do this.
2) find something green like a hat or a Christmas stocking and make that work.
3) pick a flower from your yard
4) pick a flower from your neighbors’ yard.

I mean for goodness sake it’s daffodil season.

It sounds like you are time-poor. It’s easy to get that way but it’s not terrific for kids.

[Anonymous]

I have boys. They never want to participate in that crap. If the flower was for the teacher then I’d do it. They don’t dress up.

[Anonymous]

The lack of advanced notice is what gets me. I do not have time between 6pm and 6am to manifest some of these special costumes or essential items for a class project. Give us a few days' notice, please (if you can include a weekend, even better!). And put it in writing for the parents - especially for younger aged kids. They don't always remember or remember correctly (you're supposed to bring in 100 zip lock bags, or 100 items in a zip lock bag?).

[Anonymous]

I would have plucked something from outside and brought it in. We have daffodils all around our house.

But yes, if it's too burdensome or I don't get enough advance warning, we just don't do it. Sometimes later my DD will express that she did want to do it, and I say "ok next time we'll plan better". And I will help, but I won't always lead the way. Like I asked her 2 weeks ago if she wanted a shirt from Target for St Patrick's day. She said no, because she hates kelly green. Last night she said next year she'd like some beads or a headband and I said "sounds great, we'll do that for next time".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a wealthy school district issue. My guess is bored SAHMs drive these things- they like getting the pictures, they like coming up with "fun" things to do at school, they like forcing ridiculous fund raisers and events so they can sponsor over the top assemblies, they like throwing elaborate school parties that require parents to either contribute a lot of money or sign up for something dumb. Social media drives it too. I went to a top public school in the 90s and we didn't do any of this and our mothers weren't making chalk posters for us to hold on the first day of school.


Again, just a guess. High(er) FARMS schools don't do any of that. Likely bc it will be ignored by most parents.

I’m the PP who reacted and I taught at a high FARMS school. You’re wrong. We had things like this, just not St Patrick’s Day. Low income parents care a lot about school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The lack of advanced notice is what gets me. I do not have time between 6pm and 6am to manifest some of these special costumes or essential items for a class project. Give us a few days' notice, please (if you can include a weekend, even better!). And put it in writing for the parents - especially for younger aged kids. They don't always remember or remember correctly (you're supposed to bring in 100 zip lock bags, or 100 items in a zip lock bag?).

This gets to me too. I also get the feeling that the short notice isn’t because people thought these things up at the last minute, but more because they didn’t remember that MOST of the student body wasn’t in the planning meeting until the last minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have boys. They never want to participate in that crap. If the flower was for the teacher then I’d do it. They don’t dress up.

My sons are the same way. Not a care in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today my child was asked to bring in a single flower. Yesterday wear green. Over the years, I can think of countless things that are requested that are such a huge hassle and pain in the butt. We had to detour 20 min in the morning to buy this flower. I could have and should have just blown off the request but I didn’t want my kid to be the kid who didn’t bring one.

I don’t mind as much if we have notice and can order in advance. Want some stickers for Valentine’s Day? Fine.

I especially hate spirit week where it is daily. Twin day is the absolute worst. Or wear your favorite baseball team. Rant over.

You should have seen St Patrick’s Day coming. It’s every year.
I just buy a $10 bouquet and tell DD to hand them out to anyone who forgot one.
And I f**king hate Spirit week, especially twin day. I can’t see any purpose for it except to make kids feel excluded. I know that I have never gotten my act together for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have boys. They never want to participate in that crap. If the flower was for the teacher then I’d do it. They don’t dress up.

My sons are the same way. Not a care in the world.

Ha - same. Three boys, none of whom want to dress up for anything and don't even do Valentines now that they're at the age where they need to do the cards themselves. Sometimes I'm sad that they DGAF about any spirit or holiday nonsense, but mostly its works out in my favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have boys. They never want to participate in that crap. If the flower was for the teacher then I’d do it. They don’t dress up.

My sons are the same way. Not a care in the world.

My 9 year old son is the same. Just doesn't care enough about what he's wearing in general to tailor it to dress like your favorite book character or whatever. And I'm not involved in what he wears each day. But I feel for the kids (and parents of kids!) who DO care and whose parents don't have time for that s**t. When I was his age I would have felt left out if I didn't dress up and everyone else did, so I get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have boys. They never want to participate in that crap. If the flower was for the teacher then I’d do it. They don’t dress up.

My sons are the same way. Not a care in the world.

My daughters opt out of everything except for twin day and they take care of arranging that with their friends without involving parents.