Service to manage medical appointments for dad?

[Anonymous]

My 80 year old dad has dementia and was recently hospitalized, had surgery and is now home recovering. My mother is taking care of him, but English is not her native language and a lot of information is lost in communication between her and the doctor visits. I live across the country and my siblings live 30-60 mins away from my parents and work during normal hours. Dad has a lot of follow up visits with his primary doctor, specialists, physical therapy, lab work, etc sometimes in person, sometimes telemed. Trying to manage all the appointments and taking care of my dad is causing a lot of stress for my mom. Is there a service that can help manage all of the appointments so that mom knows where to be and when? Would also be helpful if there were translation services. Something like a personal assistant or case manager for dad? Does something like this exist?

[Anonymous]

you can advertise it on Care.com. How many hours a week? How much are you willing to pay?

[Anonymous]

I have had several home health care aids for my disabled husband, and not all, but a few of them would have been able to handle this. They might have needed instruction on how to manage a virtual visit. You would probably need to hire them on a part time permanent basis though to be sure they would be available for the appointments.

[Anonymous]

Caregiver agencies can have staff drive Dad to appointments and go in with Dad.

I try to get as many appointments as telemed as possible.

[Anonymous]

Outsource someone (a hired caregiver) to take Dad to his PT and labwork appointments. His PT is probably the same day and time a week so this works well with hiring a caregiver.

Can you sibling who lives 30 minutes away take several hours off of work to take Dad to the primary and specialist appointments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outsource someone (a hired caregiver) to take Dad to his PT and labwork appointments. His PT is probably the same day and time a week so this works well with hiring a caregiver.

Can you sibling who lives 30 minutes away take several hours off of work to take Dad to the primary and specialist appointments?

Please don't take this advise. I am the sibling who lives closest. For the first few years nothing was a big deal. It has been 8 or more years of aging parent stuff and I think a request like this would throw me over the edge.I have many doctors appointments of my own I haven't made. I have not been on vacation in so many years. It's not just a few hours. Sometimes it's many days of the emotional hangover of dealing with elderly parent stuff and seeing them a mess and often they take out their stress on the kid available. If that sibling wanted to offer, the sibling would have offered already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outsource someone (a hired caregiver) to take Dad to his PT and labwork appointments. His PT is probably the same day and time a week so this works well with hiring a caregiver.

Can you sibling who lives 30 minutes away take several hours off of work to take Dad to the primary and specialist appointments?

Please don't take this advise. I am the sibling who lives closest. For the first few years nothing was a big deal. It has been 8 or more years of aging parent stuff and I think a request like this would throw me over the edge.I have many doctors appointments of my own I haven't made. I have not been on vacation in so many years. It's not just a few hours. Sometimes it's many days of the emotional hangover of dealing with elderly parent stuff and seeing them a mess and often they take out their stress on the kid available. If that sibling wanted to offer, the sibling would have offered already.

NP
We could be twins, PP. And I’m now on the verge of emotional collapse. All I can think of is running. I made a therapy appointment. The key is NOT taking on the responsibility in the first place, you’re right. I now have health anxiety from it all.

[Anonymous]

Yes, medical case management does exist. It’s also possible to hire an aide or a translator or all of the above.
If the medical appointments are hospital-based, the hospital may be able to provide translators — although this is something that needs to be requested in advance, preferably when the appointment is made.

Two critical factors are the native language and finances. One option could be to hire someone, either full-time or on-call, who speaks your mother’s native language. Since you didn’t indicate the language or the location, it’s difficult to make specific recommendations, but maybe start by looking for medical case management services with a focus on finding someone bilingual.

Wishing you well with this, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 80 year old dad has dementia and was recently hospitalized, had surgery and is now home recovering. My mother is taking care of him, but English is not her native language and a lot of information is lost in communication between her and the doctor visits. I live across the country and my siblings live 30-60 mins away from my parents and work during normal hours. Dad has a lot of follow up visits with his primary doctor, specialists, physical therapy, lab work, etc sometimes in person, sometimes telemed. Trying to manage all the appointments and taking care of my dad is causing a lot of stress for my mom. Is there a service that can help manage all of the appointments so that mom knows where to be and when? Would also be helpful if there were translation services. Something like a personal assistant or case manager for dad? Does something like this exist?

Geriatric case management exists and might be what you are looking for. In what city or town does your father live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, medical case management does exist. It’s also possible to hire an aide or a translator or all of the above.
If the medical appointments are hospital-based, the hospital may be able to provide translators — although this is something that needs to be requested in advance, preferably when the appointment is made.

Two critical factors are the native language and finances. One option could be to hire someone, either full-time or on-call, who speaks your mother’s native language. Since you didn’t indicate the language or the location, it’s difficult to make specific recommendations, but maybe start by looking for medical case management services with a focus on finding someone bilingual.

Wishing you well with this, OP!

Just to add, if your Dad is hospitalized again, request social work services and translators through the hospital. This will be helpful, if not essential, during the hospitalization, but also will mean that people who understand his needs can be part of developing his discharge plans.
Translators, for example, might be available outside of their employment with the hospital, or might know others who could be available for future medical appointments.

[Anonymous]

My parents have 24-7 caregivers. The way we handle is to tell them and their agency the appointment times. The caregivers take them, but they put one of us on speaker or FaceTime once the doctor comes in the room so one of us can hear. That way you are only taking twenty minutes out of your day, not several hours. Also, my brother often communicates with the doctor directly on the phone and email sometimes. You would need to have your parents fill out HIPPA and health care power of attorney forms and make sure the doctor has them in order for that to work.

[Anonymous]

I think the bigger issue here is what kind of surgery, why, and what the benefit is of all these appointments for a very elderly man with dementia. Maybe it's time for the family to levelset the goals for your father's care, because many doctors will let you treat everything and anything to really no end or purpose, just a whole lot of suffering.

[Anonymous]

You need to get on the hospital and other provider's electronic systems so you can see all the medications and visit notes as a first step, if you're not already signed up for all these already. I don't also suggest doing a summary of current medications and symptoms that you keep updated and available to any caregiver and your siblings. Passing care off among various people maybe necessary but can create gaps in knowledge that harm the patient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 80 year old dad has dementia and was recently hospitalized, had surgery and is now home recovering. My mother is taking care of him, but English is not her native language and a lot of information is lost in communication between her and the doctor visits. I live across the country and my siblings live 30-60 mins away from my parents and work during normal hours. Dad has a lot of follow up visits with his primary doctor, specialists, physical therapy, lab work, etc sometimes in person, sometimes telemed. Trying to manage all the appointments and taking care of my dad is causing a lot of stress for my mom. Is there a service that can help manage all of the appointments so that mom knows where to be and when? Would also be helpful if there were translation services. Something like a personal assistant or case manager for dad? Does something like this exist?

Geriatric case management exists and might be what you are looking for. In what city or town does your father live?

OP here, thank you for the input! Someone mentioned case management, so I wanted to ground truth that. My parents are Vietnamese and live in the Bay Area if California. Although they speak English they would understand better if they & the doctors could converse in Vietnamese. Is geriatric case management or medical case management through a private company? If so, any reputable ones out there?

I like the FaceTime/ phone call idea once they are at their appointment, I just worry that the appointments may conflict with my own meetings.

And yes, I can already see the frustration in the closest sibling to my parents. I think there is a lot of resentment that is growing in just the past week from feeling like I’m not helping out. I was hoping this case management would help alleviate the pressure and stress on sibling, too.

For those siblings who have replied that live closest to parents, what can I do from afar that would help?

[Anonymous]

Debra levy eldercare