is saying you are joking a form of gaslighting?

[Anonymous]

Person 1: (seriously stating) I do not want to make this phone call, I abhor it.

Person 2: Well it's important and something we have to do for our future.

Person 1: It's easy for you to say, you don't have to call. ( sort of starts digging into the fact that I don't have to do this particular task)

Person 2: We've spoken about the importance of it many times. It's making me feel like you are not valuing the big decision and it's importance.

Person 1: What if ( inserts a neg outcome) of the call?

Person 2: Provides a more rational response with a couple lesser dramatic results.

Person 1: I was just joking, I don't know why you are getting heated. Starts to leave the room!!

[Anonymous]

It can be

[Anonymous]

Maybe, but we really can’t tell without hearing tone. Person 2 seems awfully patronizing, though.

[Anonymous]

Make the damn call yourself, Person 2.

[Anonymous]

Was the inserted negative outcome completely off the wall, or a very possible negative outcome that you would both have to face? In other words, was it an obvious joke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was the inserted negative outcome completely off the wall, or a very possible negative outcome that you would both have to face? In other words, was it an obvious joke?

Tone was serious, serious facial expressions. Think of a business exchange at a bank. No joking at all or laughing from either person.

[Anonymous]

If my kids said “I was just joking” they have to do 40 pushups.

It’s a bull sh!t deflection when you are mean and can’t say sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the inserted negative outcome completely off the wall, or a very possible negative outcome that you would both have to face? In other words, was it an obvious joke?

Tone was serious, serious facial expressions. Think of a business exchange at a bank. No joking at all or laughing from either person.

I’m not asking about tone. That could have been part of the joke.
Say for instance the call was about telling your nanny not to feed your kid peanuts because he’s allergic. Did the caller say, with a serious face, “what if I do that, nanny gets pissed, feeds Larlo peanuts, and his head explodes?”
Or, did the caller say “what if nanny quits immediately?”
Regardless of tone and facial expression, one is clearly a joke and the other is plausible.

[Anonymous]

I think if it were really gaslighting, you would give us details. That you are hiding the substance makes me wonder if you are actually trying to gaslight the other person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if it were really gaslighting, you would give us details. That you are hiding the substance makes me wonder if you are actually trying to gaslight the other person.

11:38 here and that’s what I’m trying to figure out. We need more details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make the damn call yourself, Person 2.

Seems like the logical answer, but OP would rather spend their time whining on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Person 2 is doing nothing to validate Person 1’s feeling of discomfort and is shutting that person down in their own way.
I don’t think person 2 was gaslighting - they were feeling shut down and this were looking for ways to avoid further feeling more discomfort/ feeling put down and humiliated for feeling uncomfortable in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Person 2 is doing nothing to validate Person 1’s feeling of discomfort and is shutting that person down in their own way.
I don’t think person 2 was gaslighting - they were feeling shut down and this were looking for ways to avoid further feeling more discomfort/ feeling put down and humiliated for feeling uncomfortable in the first place.

Sorry, don’t think person 1 was gaslighting.

[Anonymous]

Person 1 sounds like a drama queen.