How do you make a 14-year-old brush their teeth?

[Anonymous]

This has been an ongoing problem since puberty. Wakes up at six to make the (obscenely early schoolbus), messes around, then runs out the door saying "I don't have time!" Sometimes he goes so far as to run the electric toothbrush in the bathroom *without actually brushing* so we'll THINK he brushed his teeth. We've tried several different kinds of brush and toothpaste; none make a difference. Occasionally he'll use his fluoride wash instead of brushing. We've tried a waterpik; no dice.

The worst part is that he has braces, so he really really needs to be brushing. But short of standing over him in the bathroom twice a day, which makes him really angry and then he'll refuse to brush at all, what should we do? He doesn't have sensory issues. It's just some weird mental block. Heeeeeeelp.

[Anonymous]

We had to tie screen time to brushing teeth. I tried a million different things. It had to be added to what earns screen time, which includes chores and brushing teeth.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure I’m understanding his hang up - why isn’t he brushing? It’s not time if he runs the electric toothbrush anyway. Sensitivity? Rebellion? Something else?

[Anonymous]

Simple, give him consequences for not brushing.

Take away his electronics.

Since he cannot do it without you telling him, get a timer and watch him do for the whole 2 minutes. He would love that!

[Anonymous]

I'd show him a few cavity drilling & filling videos on youtube so he can see what he's in for if he keeps not brushing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has been an ongoing problem since puberty. Wakes up at six to make the (obscenely early schoolbus), messes around, then runs out the door saying "I don't have time!" Sometimes he goes so far as to run the electric toothbrush in the bathroom *without actually brushing* so we'll THINK he brushed his teeth. We've tried several different kinds of brush and toothpaste; none make a difference. Occasionally he'll use his fluoride wash instead of brushing. We've tried a waterpik; no dice.

The worst part is that he has braces, so he really really needs to be brushing. But short of standing over him in the bathroom twice a day, which makes him really angry and then he'll refuse to brush at all, what should we do? He doesn't have sensory issues. It's just some weird mental block. Heeeeeeelp.

Sorry. There's your answer. You stand over him twice a day.

[Anonymous]

take away the phone until he can brush his teeth reliably.

[Anonymous]

google rotten teeth photos and show them

[Anonymous]

Once masks are off his breath will be DISGUSTING. That will make him brush. The other kids will not treat him nicely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:google rotten teeth photos and show them

The consequence is too far away to matter to a 14 year old. This is why pictures of smokers' lungs wont stop a smoker. This is the problem with some 'natural consequences.'

Does he have a phone? I'd keep the phone in the morning until he brushes his teeth. If you need to stand there, so be it. He can have the phone as soon as he's done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:take away the phone until he can brush his teeth reliably.

Agree with this and standing over him and letting him be angry. Also, have the dentist and ortho drive home how important brushing and flossing is. And tell him you are absolutely NOT paying for teeth whitening after his braces come off, or ever - he'll have to pay for that himself.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't have a teeth brushing issue, he has an organization and executive functioning issue. Agree that for some period of time you are going to have to supervise more closely, not just the teeth brushing but the morning routine. But I wouldn't stand over him while he brushes. I'd start sitting down with him in the evening before bed and saying "Ok, what's your list for what you have to do tomorrow before school?" and watch him write it out, including brushing his teeth. Then tell him to estimate how long he needs for each thing, and provide feedback if he's underestimating ("I think you should allocate at least 5 minutes to brushing teeth, hair, and just making sure you look okay in the mirror. That way you won't feel rushed on this part since it's something that gets missed a lot."). Then use the times to figure out when he has to get up. Build in a buffer and be explicit about this -- "Let's add another 10 minutes just to make sure you're not in a rush." This is a good habit in general. That's what this is about. Teaching good habits.

You take that list with the times and you pin it to the inside of his bedroom door. Make sure he gets up at the time you figured he needed to. Initially, you need to supervise. Stay nearby and as he does things, remind him to check his list. If he gets distracted by his phone or something else, interrupt: "Ok, phone time isn't on the list. What's next?" Stay on him.

Do this for a couple weeks and you will be able to ease off. Once he feels what it's like to not be rushing constantly, he will start doing it on his own.

Bonus: once he realizes the benefit of getting up early, knowing in advance what must get done, and doing it without distraction, he will probably wind up with an extra 5-10 minute many mornings to sit and do phone time before you leave. And he'll also learn that time is more relaxing when he's not worried about packing his bag, brushing his teeth, or listening to his parent nag him about it.

This is how kids learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't have a teeth brushing issue, he has an organization and executive functioning issue. Agree that for some period of time you are going to have to supervise more closely, not just the teeth brushing but the morning routine. But I wouldn't stand over him while he brushes. I'd start sitting down with him in the evening before bed and saying "Ok, what's your list for what you have to do tomorrow before school?" and watch him write it out, including brushing his teeth. Then tell him to estimate how long he needs for each thing, and provide feedback if he's underestimating ("I think you should allocate at least 5 minutes to brushing teeth, hair, and just making sure you look okay in the mirror. That way you won't feel rushed on this part since it's something that gets missed a lot."). Then use the times to figure out when he has to get up. Build in a buffer and be explicit about this -- "Let's add another 10 minutes just to make sure you're not in a rush." This is a good habit in general. That's what this is about. Teaching good habits.

You take that list with the times and you pin it to the inside of his bedroom door. Make sure he gets up at the time you figured he needed to. Initially, you need to supervise. Stay nearby and as he does things, remind him to check his list. If he gets distracted by his phone or something else, interrupt: "Ok, phone time isn't on the list. What's next?" Stay on him.

Do this for a couple weeks and you will be able to ease off. Once he feels what it's like to not be rushing constantly, he will start doing it on his own.

Bonus: once he realizes the benefit of getting up early, knowing in advance what must get done, and doing it without distraction, he will probably wind up with an extra 5-10 minute many mornings to sit and do phone time before you leave. And he'll also learn that time is more relaxing when he's not worried about packing his bag, brushing his teeth, or listening to his parent nag him about it.

This is how kids learn.

NP. Your post is super patronizing and kind of annoying. If he can stand in the bathroom and run his toothbrush and not actually brush his teeth...he has the time to brush his teeth.

[Anonymous]

I would run through his morning activities, tell him when he should brush his teeth, and yes, stand there and make him do it. After a week or two it will become a habit.

I would also look into why he was not brushing. Do his teeth hurt? Perhaps his braces need adjusting. Or maybe a different toothbrush would be more comfortable. I think my so did not like using the electric ones when he had braces. A manual brush is better than no brushing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't have a teeth brushing issue, he has an organization and executive functioning issue. Agree that for some period of time you are going to have to supervise more closely, not just the teeth brushing but the morning routine. But I wouldn't stand over him while he brushes. I'd start sitting down with him in the evening before bed and saying "Ok, what's your list for what you have to do tomorrow before school?" and watch him write it out, including brushing his teeth. Then tell him to estimate how long he needs for each thing, and provide feedback if he's underestimating ("I think you should allocate at least 5 minutes to brushing teeth, hair, and just making sure you look okay in the mirror. That way you won't feel rushed on this part since it's something that gets missed a lot."). Then use the times to figure out when he has to get up. Build in a buffer and be explicit about this -- "Let's add another 10 minutes just to make sure you're not in a rush." This is a good habit in general. That's what this is about. Teaching good habits.

You take that list with the times and you pin it to the inside of his bedroom door. Make sure he gets up at the time you figured he needed to. Initially, you need to supervise. Stay nearby and as he does things, remind him to check his list. If he gets distracted by his phone or something else, interrupt: "Ok, phone time isn't on the list. What's next?" Stay on him.

Do this for a couple weeks and you will be able to ease off. Once he feels what it's like to not be rushing constantly, he will start doing it on his own.

Bonus: once he realizes the benefit of getting up early, knowing in advance what must get done, and doing it without distraction, he will probably wind up with an extra 5-10 minute many mornings to sit and do phone time before you leave. And he'll also learn that time is more relaxing when he's not worried about packing his bag, brushing his teeth, or listening to his parent nag him about it.

This is how kids learn.

NP. Your post is super patronizing and kind of annoying. If he can stand in the bathroom and run his toothbrush and not actually brush his teeth...he has the time to brush his teeth.

Agreed. The PP thinks they know everything when they know nothing about this particular kid. It seems they have experience with kids with EF issues so that means all kids do!