Step MIL won't let sons see father's will

[Anonymous]

My husband's dad is old (late 80s) and has not been well lately. I have asked my husband and his siblings for years to make sure they had a copy of their dad's will and any relevant financial information, after going through a really hard time when my parents died trying to figure everything out. They avoided the discussion, and now that it's relevant they finally asked for this information from their stepmother, with whom we've always had a good relationship. She is refusing to show them a will.

We are not talking about a lot of money, he was a fed his whole life so he has a nice savings but we not millions. We never made any financial decisions with the expectations that we would inherit any money. If the stepmom gets all the money, fine. But it seems odd to me that she won't even show us the will so we have some understanding of who is the executor, etc. and we have no idea of their financial status if we have to find them a housing situation with medical care. She is old as well so while the expectation is that she will outlive my father in law, it's certainly not guaranteed so we want to have access to relevant information if she is gone and he is incapacitated.

Do adult children have any legal right to request their father's will from his spouse?

[Anonymous]

Funny how you claim it's fine if you get no money yet the man isn't even dead and you're pushing to see his will.

[Anonymous]

If you are truly interested in understanding their financial situation better so that you can provide support as needed, it seems that there are better ways of going about this than asking about a will.

[Anonymous]

What the hell?

MYOB, op! This is t even your dad! No, you have no right to see your not yet dead father in laws will!

And you won’t necessarily learn anything about his finances from a will anyway. Wills don’t typically have a list of assets or amounts.

Your poor in-laws. Stop. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

I think your husband can just ask his father, no?

[Anonymous]

Ask your father in law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are truly interested in understanding their financial situation better so that you can provide support as needed, it seems that there are better ways of going about this than asking about a will.

We did ask her for other financial information so that we could make plans for his care, but she wouldn't give that either. I am just asking about the will since that is a legal document and I am not clear whether family members have any a right to request it from the spouse.

Again, I went through the death of my parent without a will and though there was very little money involved it would have been so much easier if had had that document. We are not wishing for is death, but we are being realistic and trying to be prepared for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your husband can just ask his father, no?

His dad is not well, so no, we can't ask him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the hell?

MYOB, op! This is t even your dad! No, you have no right to see your not yet dead father in laws will!

And you won’t necessarily learn anything about his finances from a will anyway. Wills don’t typically have a list of assets or amounts.

Your poor in-laws. Stop. Just stop.

I understand he is not my dad, but he is my husband's dad, and my husband is looking to me for support so I'm trying to find information for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the hell?

MYOB, op! This is t even your dad! No, you have no right to see your not yet dead father in laws will!

And you won’t necessarily learn anything about his finances from a will anyway. Wills don’t typically have a list of assets or amounts.

Your poor in-laws. Stop. Just stop.

I recently was a beneficiary of a friend's will. As a beneficiary I was entitled to see a copy of the will which was sent to me by the law firm handling the estate without my requesting it. It spelled out in detail how much my friend left to each of a bunch of charities and how much she left to five individuals, naming them by name and indicating an exact amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the hell?

MYOB, op! This is t even your dad! No, you have no right to see your not yet dead father in laws will!

And you won’t necessarily learn anything about his finances from a will anyway. Wills don’t typically have a list of assets or amounts.

Your poor in-laws. Stop. Just stop.

I recently was a beneficiary of a friend's will. As a beneficiary I was entitled to see a copy of the will which was sent to me by the law firm handling the estate without my requesting it. It spelled out in detail how much my friend left to each of a bunch of charities and how much she left to five individuals, naming them by name and indicating an exact amount.

Yeah, but your friend is dead. No one has rights to see a living person's will. And it's mostly irrelevant until the person dies, because they can change it at any time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are truly interested in understanding their financial situation better so that you can provide support as needed, it seems that there are better ways of going about this than asking about a will.

We did ask her for other financial information so that we could make plans for his care, but she wouldn't give that either. I am just asking about the will since that is a legal document and I am not clear whether family members have any a right to request it from the spouse.

Again, I went through the death of my parent without a will and though there was very little money involved it would have been so much easier if had had that document. We are not wishing for is death, but we are being realistic and trying to be prepared for it.

OP, you are confused. It sounds like your parent didn't have a will. That's why things were difficult. Here, there does appear to be a will, so you don't need to worry it will be like when your parent died.

If your DH wants to know more about his father's financial situation so that he can help make arrangements for his care, that's a different thing. Perhaps he can ask his stepmother about that. It has nothing to do with the will, which is only relevant after FIL is dead, when he won't need care anymore.

[Anonymous]

Does he live in MD? In MD, you can file your will with the clerk of the court, though most people don't do this.

[Anonymous]

What? No you don't have a right to see his will. Not do you have a right to any of his financial information. He has a wife. She is automatically the beneficiary and makes decisions for his care-- unless you are going to take her to court.

Back off.

[Anonymous]

Your stepmother is understandably rattled by the vultures circling around even before her husband is in his grave. This is inappropriate behaviors on your part, OP.
Be careful. If she inherits his estate she might be irritated enough to cut you out.