Hospice for not terminally ill parent

[Anonymous]

Parent is 90, incontinent, demented, but has nothing that will kill them. Can walk with walker and feed and dress self. Takes BP meds, and an anti-depressant. The cholesterol med was stopped a while ago. Would hospice take a person like this? What would they do? Parent expresses wish to die. Honestly, it would be a blessing. They never would've wanted to live like this, nor would I if it were me. I am lost.

[Anonymous]

I am so so sorry, OP. That is truly awful.

I don't believe hospice will take people without a terminal diagnoses, but what you're looking for is palliative care (designed to comfort, not to heal or prolong life). But since it sounds like they aren't getting treatments they can stop, there's not much that can be done, as I don't believe dementia would qualify for any more aggressive options, like medical aid in dying.

Make sure that all the paperwork is in place - DNR, living will, etc.

Best of luck to you and your parent. You're in my thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like situational depression or boredom. I don't blame them. Maybe some changes might improve their mood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like situational depression or boredom. I don't blame them. Maybe some changes might improve their mood.

Oh, please. She is 90, realistic not depressed.

There are various services hospice offers. I'd call a local one, if they don't have a service they can direct to options.

[Anonymous]

Need a dx from doctor of 6 months or less expected life span.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like situational depression or boredom. I don't blame them. Maybe some changes might improve their mood.

Oh, please. She is 90, realistic not depressed.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t things that can be done or tried to make people feel better.

[Anonymous]

How do you thin hospice could help? Maybe try to figure out what are like be helpful and look for that service, rather than a hospice.

[Anonymous]

What services are you exactly looking for?
Do you want someone to come in a few hours a day and just be with your loved one? Light housework, meal prep, etc? A home care agency would be ideal for that. Usually you have to hire them for 4 hours/day minimum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What services are you exactly looking for?
Do you want someone to come in a few hours a day and just be with your loved one? Light housework, meal prep, etc? A home care agency would be ideal for that. Usually you have to hire them for 4 hours/day minimum.

Some hospice companies offer this. Call some local places to find out available services.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a nursing home would be an option but not hospice.

[Anonymous]

OP. What I am looking for is for something to hasten parent to the end. They are in assisted living, on an anti-depressant, regular visits from family, lots of options for meals and activities. But....
Cannot enjoy life at all, unsafe without walker, doesn't participate in any activities, repeats the same complaints about the other residents, staff, over and over, is more demented each week (at this point only knows name, and lives in AL, but disoriented to date/year/time of day, more delusional). Being treated for UTI, but still not getting better mentally. Incontinent--and fighting wearing "diapers"--this has been going on for years. Anyway, if pain was an issue, Hospice can give narcs until you lapse into a coma and pass. So, honestly, parent needs a merciful end.
It's a shame we have spend our last years in such a state. I don't know.

[Anonymous]

You don't need a prescription from a doctor and you can self refer and see if they will accept him but to get it paid for by medicare there has to be a change of situation. We got it when my MIL had a reduction in weight and feeding (then hospice came in and she improved).

[Anonymous]

My dad had hospice care due to very advanced congestive heart failure for the last month of his life. He was already in assisted living. These are the services he received from the hospice company: 2x weekly nurse visit (this was by far the most valuable service), fast delivery of things like oxygen when requested by the nurse, an aide who came for several hours 1-2 weekly (not helpful since my dad was already in assisted living and already received help with things like bathing and medication mgmt), a visit from someone of my dad's faith (we declined), and some follow-up mailings intended for me after he passed on dealing with grief. Are these things useful to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need a prescription from a doctor and you can self refer and see if they will accept him but to get it paid for by medicare there has to be a change of situation. We got it when my MIL had a reduction in weight and feeding (then hospice came in and she improved).

This. In Maryland you do not need a prescription from doctor for hospice. Call hospice directly. They will send someone out and tell you if your loved one qualifies.

[Anonymous]

I'm 15:09. Do not, do not mention that you want to hasten the end. That is illegal.

If she qualifies (in Maryland) you will get a box of drugs and one will be morphine which will hasten the end.