Going to a house on a second date

[Anonymous]

Yes, yes, I know what this probably means. A man I’ve been talking to and went on a great first date with, invited me to his house for dinner for a second date. I feel comfortable doing so, and I will not sleep with him, and have already hinted to him I won’t. A friend of mine thinks this is lazy and should be taking me out to a restaurant instead on a second date. I personally don’t see the big deal. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

It's LAZY for him to cook you dinner? Can't please women these days. You realize it's 10x harder to MAKE DINNER AT HOME than just go out to a restaurant. Perhaps he's a good cook and wants to impress you. Your friends isn't so bright.

[Anonymous]

I think safety-wise I would not do this. If his plan is to cook a fancy meal for you, it's too soon for that. If his plan is to order pizza or whatever then yes it's lazy. But any way you cut it, men should not invite women to their home when they barely know them unless they are looking to be featured in a Lifetime Movie of the Week.

[Anonymous]

My now husband kept wanting to cook me dinner, I put him off because I didn’t want to sleep with him. We were a month in before I went over. The meal was amazing. I wasn’t sorry I waited, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think safety-wise I would not do this. If his plan is to cook a fancy meal for you, it's too soon for that. If his plan is to order pizza or whatever then yes it's lazy. But any way you cut it, men should not invite women to their home when they barely know them unless they are looking to be featured in a Lifetime Movie of the Week.

Who says she doesn't know him? They've been talking. They just happen to only have one date. I've spoken to women for weeks or sometimes a few months before going on an format date.

[Anonymous]

You have been talking a while. You clearly signaled your boundaries.

Him working hard and making a dinner for you gives him a chance to try to impress, and you get all the benefits, plus you leave when you want. Sounds like a normal dating progression to me.

Really not seeing downsides to this.

[Anonymous]

I hope you don’t end up buried in the backyard.

[Anonymous]

This is just my experience. I dated a guy that I corresponded with for about a month, then we went on coffee dates, then dinner. Then eventually when I went to his place, he made a comment along the lines of: if you were to scream no one would be able to hear you. Even if it was a joke, it scared me away. And he was right: if I had needed help there actually was nobody there to hear or help me.

I guess proceed with caution OP. If you do go, keep you cell phone on and handy. Let someone know where you’ll be and set up a check in time with them, just in case.

[Anonymous]

If you are in his house he is expecting sex. He thinks hints are playing hard to get.

[Anonymous]

Back in the stone ages when I was dating, my standard third date was to cook dinner. I can honestly say that I never expected sex (though it did happen on occasion). It was just a chance to show off. At least 25 years ago, women ere inordinately impressed by a guy who is a good cook, particularly if they *aren't * good cooks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back in the stone ages when I was dating, my standard third date was to cook dinner. I can honestly say that I never expected sex (though it did happen on occasion). It was just a chance to show off. At least 25 years ago, women ere inordinately impressed by a guy who is a good cook, particularly if they *aren't * good cooks.

Men cannot cook, generally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just my experience. I dated a guy that I corresponded with for about a month, then we went on coffee dates, then dinner. Then eventually when I went to his place, he made a comment along the lines of: if you were to scream no one would be able to hear you. Even if it was a joke, it scared me away. And he was right: if I had needed help there actually was nobody there to hear or help me.

I guess proceed with caution OP. If you do go, keep you cell phone on and handy. Let someone know where you’ll be and set up a check in time with them, just in case.

OP here- HELLLLL no, if anyone ever said something along the lines of that, I’m done. Not funny.

I always let a friend know where the address is. I don’t get bad vibes at all, and feel pretty comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are in his house he is expecting sex. He thinks hints are playing hard to get.

This. Obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back in the stone ages when I was dating, my standard third date was to cook dinner. I can honestly say that I never expected sex (though it did happen on occasion). It was just a chance to show off. At least 25 years ago, women ere inordinately impressed by a guy who is a good cook, particularly if they *aren't * good cooks.

Men cannot cook, generally.

This is spectacularly false.

[Anonymous]

I sort of understand your friend , it seems like he's working you into the Netflix and chill lane.
This may or may not be accurate, but that's probably what she's thinking.
Go if you want to and feel safe enough to do so.