14 YO son came home crying - won't talk to me - help!
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Anonymous
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My 14 YO son (freshmen in high school) came home from school today and ran up to his room, crying. His older brother has no idea what happened. He won't talk to either me or his father.
He's a sensitive soul so it's not unheard of for him to get upset, but I feel different about this one. Advice on how to get him to open up to one of us? |
Anonymous
| Just wait. Tell him you're here to talk if he needs you. Make his favorite dinner. |
Anonymous
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Give him time. Let him calm down. Do something together, and during this activity, gently give him an opening to share what happened.
Went through something similar with my now 16 yr old DS. They need to time to process and not be so emotional. |
Anonymous
| I usually try and get a meal into them first before prying. |
Anonymous
| It’s hard to be a teen! I’d give him space but maybe text and say you love him and sorry he had a hard day, tel him you’re around and you for talking if he wants to later. If he doesn’t want to get into specifics just give him some teen acceptable tlc (for my teen that would be chipotle for dinner and letting him pick a movie.) |
Anonymous
| Stop making it your goal for him to tell you what's wrong. Give him the space he clearly desires. |
Anonymous
| Give him space but seriously he doesn’t have a friend you can check in with to get insight? |
Anonymous
| Poor guy. Sorry. I hope he feels better soon and opens up. |
Anonymous
You’re really suggesting a grown woman call’s a 14 year old boy on the phone to ask who bullied her baby at school today? |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry. I know it's so stressful. :/ |
Anonymous
| Hugs op, I know that feeling. |
Anonymous
| Give him time. Check in later when it’s time for dinner but don’t force him to talk or come out if he’s not ready and at least responds. It could be anything from a girl to getting pushed around by someone. We’ve had both and it’s not easy being the kid or parent. So sorry. |
Anonymous
| I am so sorry. I hope this resolves quickly. Pamper him at home and draw him out tactfully. |
Anonymous
I agree that your goal isn’t to know what’s wrong. Your goal is to make sure your son is okay, feels loved, and is able to manage whatever it is that is going on. I have to remind myself that when my son is upset. It really doesn’t matter why - what matters is comforting him. Of course if you are worried it is something TERRIBLE you need to know so you can take action. But a sensitive kid crying could be anything - a girl said she doesn’t like him back, a friend’s teasing went over the line, he texted something he wishes he hadn’t. None of those things needs your solution or knowing, but they can all be made more bearable with your loving, non-demanding presence. I can tell when my 15 year old son is upset, but he usually doesn’t want to talk about it. My ways of showing I see his sadness and care are thinking like bringing him a bowl of ice cream, offering to draw a bath with bath salts, randomly ordering takeout. Or sometimes I’ll just go hug him and he’ll sort of collapse into it for a minute, like a 6’3” baby. |
Anonymous
| Empathy OP. It's so hard. |