Reply to 14 YO son came home crying - won't talk to me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stop making it your goal for him to tell you what's wrong. Give him the space he clearly desires.[/quote]

I agree that your goal isn’t to know what’s wrong. Your goal is to make sure your son is okay, feels loved, and is able to manage whatever it is that is going on. I have to remind myself that when my son is upset. It really doesn’t matter why - what matters is comforting him. Of course if you are worried it is something TERRIBLE you need to know so you can take action. But a sensitive kid crying could be anything - a girl said she doesn’t like him back, a friend’s teasing went over the line, he texted something he wishes he hadn’t. None of those things needs your solution or knowing, but they can all be made more bearable with your loving, non-demanding presence.

I can tell when my 15 year old son is upset, but he usually doesn’t want to talk about it. My ways of showing I see his sadness and care are thinking like bringing him a bowl of ice cream, offering to draw a bath with bath salts, randomly ordering takeout. Or sometimes I’ll just go hug him and he’ll sort of collapse into it for a minute, like a 6’3” baby.[/quote]

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