Toddler doesn't listen
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Anonymous
| Any tips? I know she can understand me because she will giggle and walk away. Help! |
Anonymous
| Surprise! It only gets worse from here! |
Anonymous
| Do you mean to say your child does not OBEY you? |
Anonymous
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Can you be more specific? What is she not listening to? Are you asking her to do things and she's refusing? Telling her to stop things and she does them anyway? Trying to get her attention and she ignores you? It could be a lot of things.
Toddlers are still new people. It's common for them to need things repeated lots of time, or to need to be told things different ways in order to get it. I think some of your biggest tools at this age are music and routines. These helped us so much. Instead of asking her to clean up her toys, you say "time to clean up" and play the same clean up song ever day. Same with bath time. I used to turn getting dressed and brushing teeth into the "Getting Ready Choo Choo" and we'd "get on the train" and chugga chugga Choo Choo to the stops. It helped a lot and even as she got older, when she'd drag her feet or ignore me when I told her it was time to get dressed or brush her teeth, I could say "chugga chugga Choo Choo!" and she'd just do it without even protesting. Other times the issue is that they really don't know what you are talking about. They might understand the words and that you are addressing them, but just lack all of the context around a situation. Even basic concepts sometimes need to be explained, like WHY you have to wash hands after using the potty or WHY they need to be buckled into their carseat before we can go anywhere. Sometimes you just have to take the minute or two to lay it out for them, and then they are good. But you can't assume knowledge or understanding. They do pick up a lot of stuff by osmosis but not everything and sometimes you need to slow it down and bring them into understanding before they can really listen. |
Anonymous
 Its a toddler. He will not listen. That is the hallmark of a toddler. You just have to love the kid, not have high standards for now, gently guide them, pay them a lot of attention and learn to enjoy this stage. That's that.
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Anonymous
lol not OP but thanks for making me laugh as I think about my toddler who pretends he doesn't understand me |
Anonymous
And the sky is blue 
Welcome to toddlerhood. |
Anonymous
| That's why you supervise a toddler and structure her environment. They do not obey you. |
Anonymous
| Have you read How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen? I find their approach and tips to be very helpful. Kind of similar to what one of the previous posters was saying - turning things into a silly game, singing a song, using a timer, giving options, different ways to phrase things that set you up for more success. Basically involving them more rather than just telling them what to do. It’s a little more effort, but it pays off! |
Anonymous
| Toddlers don't listen. As others have said it's a pretty hallmark quality, along with tantrums. Getting some tools in your toolbox will help. Follow big little feelings on instagram, look at their old highlights and/or buy their course - it's very easy to digest. Also read "no bad kids" by Janet Lansbury to help learn more about what to expect at this age and developmentally appropriate behavior and how to respond, it will help a lot. |
Anonymous
Another vote for No Bad Kids. It saved me during this time. |
Anonymous
| I thought 123 magic was very helpful around this age - maybe a tiny bit older. But basically toddlers don't listen. Good thing they are cute! |
Anonymous
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I would check your language--
"Are you ready for bath?" (Heck no, Im still playing). Better: it's bath time! "Can you throw this away?" (I can but I don't wanna!) Better: throw this in the trash can "It's time to leave the park, ok?" (Nope, not ok) Better: "it's time to leave the park. A lot of parents tack on that "ok?" To their communication with their toddlers and preschoolers and it really can cause some of the not listening. |
Anonymous
Yes me too. And I didn't even follow all her advice to a T. But it kept me from totally losing my mind and getting angry with my toddler for being a TODDLER. |
Anonymous
Agreed, I'm the pp and I don't follow everything janet lansbury says that's for sure, but it helps you have a good lens I think on these years of toddlerhood/preschool time so you feel less frustrated. Or when you do feel frustrated it's easier to remind yourself this is normal, your kid is normal, etc. And the book is incredibly short so it's an easy read. |