No close friends, lower school years
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Anonymous
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Been at our pk-12 for a few years now since a young age and our daughter has no close friends from school. Even when we offer to host a play date or outing, she says no. Anyone have them going on?
If so do you ask the teacher what they see going on the classroom or recess? Do you wait it out until more school ECs start? Or just chalk it up to that’s how your kid is? |
Anonymous
| Ask the teacher(s). They know. I had the same question, teacher said DC was friendly with everyone and it wasn’t unusual. By 4th grade had a small group of close friends. |
Anonymous
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This is our worry too. There are cliques from kids in the same class all the time never mixing, weekend schools, dance, then new girl putting others down to make friends.
I asked about recess once and got a sad response. |
Anonymous
| Please talk with the teacher. I also wouldn't forces playdates - if the kid isn't into them they can go awkwardly wrong - but talk to the school counselor about ways to aid socialization. Joining group sports, birthday parties etc. You will also need to invite to get invited - park meetups (when your were going anyway) and stuff like that can be low pressure..does your child enjoy playing in general? |
Anonymous
| Also non school socialization - neighborhood friends, church or other institutional groups, relatives/cousins. Kids really do need connection and socialization, wherever they can get it. Keep an eye on this OP! |
Anonymous
| Ask the teacher, in ES they know.. they see them interacting, picking partners, playing at recess etc. everyday. If it is a "sad response" as another posted indicated find out if it is the right school for your child. I think we all get hung up on having to stay once you are in .. at a private that everyone apparently wants to be at. I too get side tracked sometimes with this mindset. If it continues year after year then do something about it. |
Anonymous
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After a fantastic kindergarten year of friends, our school mixed up the classmates so much each year that our daughter also has no one to talk with.
She says she feels awkward going up to old friends because they have been more together for subsequent grades and the same dynamic in her classroom, girls just spend time with who they were in multiple homerooms with. Our child doesn’t have that and the year of 10 per Covid classroom online really annihilated things. Makes me wish we choose a school with one larger classroom per lower school grade and not 3-5 semi-small ones. She never got her 1 or 2 friend requests year after year. |
Anonymous
| I don't know enough about your child (obviously) to say whether this is relevant, but our daughter has had trouble making friends, especially when she changed schools in the fourth grade. Based on other things we'd observed, we had her see a therapist and she's been in weekly therapy for anxiety since. It's hard to know what has caused what, or if it's just been maturation and the passage of time, but she has made huge strides in making friends and now has a stable of them. |
Anonymous
| Any anti-anxiety meds involved or recommended? We tried therapy but in zoom nothing was connecting well. |
Anonymous
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Keep an eye on this please.
Read about symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder. Read about symptoms of childhood anxiety disorders. Early intervention is best if there is an issue. I would get a full neuropsychological evaluation if you can afford it. It is probably around 3K. See a developmental pediatrician or a pediatric neuropsychologist for this evaluation. Yes, there is a chance that it is not a problem, then your money is wasted. But always think about the probability that there is actually an issue, and that you don't want to miss it. If there is an issue and if you find it early, kids improve with early intervention. Best wishes. |
Anonymous
| 09:12 PP here -- Yes, she was eventually prescribed Prozac. She's also been diagnosed with ADHD (we did a neuropsych eval) but is not on medication for it. Again, hard to say what was therapy, meds, or just maturation, but she's enormously improved in her social skills and confidence. |
Anonymous
This is so hard to determine if she’s just a shy introvert or if that is driven by some other struggle, social or anxiety or academic. Please try to talk with a trust pediatrician or teacher in this. Teachers nowadays talk in nuances so ask directly. |
Anonymous
We had similar experience with our daughter. We had a full psychological/educational evaluation done. She was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. Medication has made a huge difference. over the last year she has had neurofeedback therapy, and she has reduced her anxiety and has come off one of her medications. The sooner the issues are addressed, the easier they are to deal with and reduce, |
Anonymous
| My kid seems to have friends at school and has lots of stories about playing at recess and in after care. But she's not super interested in playdates or seeing her friends outside of school. She seems happy but just enjoys the downtime at home. Some of it is the pandemic in that we stopped doing these things for so long that she's just not interested in picking them back up. I'm trying not to worry about it. |
Anonymous
| Prob good bonding at something like aftercare….?… |