Ex-husband keeps telling me he loves me

[Anonymous]

We've been divorced 3 years, he cheated and now this. What's up with that?

[Anonymous]

The grass wasn’t greener.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he does. For me, it would not matter. His feelings are not your problem….unless you love him…but if I loved him, I would not have divorced…even with cheating.

[Anonymous]

If he’s a smooth talker and there’s always a big disconnect between what he says and does, o really wouldn’t care nor post this’d. He’d have such a big hole to climb out most rational cheaters wouldn’t bother trying. Maybe saying some BS, yes, but demonstrating it? Hahaha. No.

[Anonymous]

A man can love you and still have sex with other women. Unless he’s had some major epiphany about that element of your split, I don’t see what’s changed.

[Anonymous]

Mine does too. Currently asking me to travel with him in February and move back in with him. He didn’t cheat, he was a Cluster B abuser type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he’s a smooth talker and there’s always a big disconnect between what he says and does, o really wouldn’t care nor post this’d. He’d have such a big hole to climb out most rational cheaters wouldn’t bother trying. Maybe saying some BS, yes, but demonstrating it? Hahaha. No.

He bought me a Christmas gift for the first time in years, he finds a reason to text or call almost daily, asks about my family. He's done other things too that I've mostly ignored because I didn't dare want to take any of it too seriously. I see telling an ex maybe once that you love them and leaving it at that, but he's said it quite a few times.

[Anonymous]

He has a guilty conscience and wants to feel like you've forgiven him and like him again. I'd ignore it and give him the cold shoulder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he’s a smooth talker and there’s always a big disconnect between what he says and does, o really wouldn’t care nor post this’d. He’d have such a big hole to climb out most rational cheaters wouldn’t bother trying. Maybe saying some BS, yes, but demonstrating it? Hahaha. No.

He bought me a Christmas gift for the first time in years, he finds a reason to text or call almost daily, asks about my family. He's done other things too that I've mostly ignored because I didn't dare want to take any of it too seriously. I see telling an ex maybe once that you love them and leaving it at that, but he's said it quite a few times.

NP, not the PP above. OP, I note that your first post said nothing about whether you welcome this on any level; then you say here, "I didn't dare want to take any of it too seriously." That sounds to me like maybe you have a tiny inkling of wondering if he is for real and if you...should respond? Not clear because you're playing it close to vest, which is understandable.

It's the "I didn't dare want" part that makes me wonder if maybe on some level you are wanting his advances to be for real. Do you?

Remember--you divorced for a reason, and cheaters have shown their true colors already. What's the saying? "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he’s a smooth talker and there’s always a big disconnect between what he says and does, o really wouldn’t care nor post this’d. He’d have such a big hole to climb out most rational cheaters wouldn’t bother trying. Maybe saying some BS, yes, but demonstrating it? Hahaha. No.

He bought me a Christmas gift for the first time in years, he finds a reason to text or call almost daily, asks about my family. He's done other things too that I've mostly ignored because I didn't dare want to take any of it too seriously. I see telling an ex maybe once that you love them and leaving it at that, but he's said it quite a few times.

NP, not the PP above. OP, I note that your first post said nothing about whether you welcome this on any level; then you say here, "I didn't dare want to take any of it too seriously." That sounds to me like maybe you have a tiny inkling of wondering if he is for real and if you...should respond? Not clear because you're playing it close to vest, which is understandable.

It's the "I didn't dare want" part that makes me wonder if maybe on some level you are wanting his advances to be for real. Do you?

Remember--you divorced for a reason, and cheaters have shown their true colors already. What's the saying? "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them."

OP - You're right. Welcome it? Meh. I question his motivations because of our past. We have kids so there's still communication. I also prefer to keep things on a positive note w/him because I don't want the kids thinking we hate each other. The "I love you's" and extra communication have come as a surprise. My boundaries are intact, I haven't said I love you back because honestly, I don't feel love towards him. I don't want him getting hit by a Mack truck, but love, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he’s a smooth talker and there’s always a big disconnect between what he says and does, o really wouldn’t care nor post this’d. He’d have such a big hole to climb out most rational cheaters wouldn’t bother trying. Maybe saying some BS, yes, but demonstrating it? Hahaha. No.

He bought me a Christmas gift for the first time in years, he finds a reason to text or call almost daily, asks about my family. He's done other things too that I've mostly ignored because I didn't dare want to take any of it too seriously. I see telling an ex maybe once that you love them and leaving it at that, but he's said it quite a few times.

Love bombing turns me off. Besides apologizing and appealing to my brain is better than that stalking junk.

[Anonymous]

Tell him you have a boyfriend so he needs to back up.

[Anonymous]

My ex-husband tells me he loves me now and again.

I know he does and I love him.
BUT

That is a huge BUT above, that was then and we’re divorced for a reason.

Think about why you two are divorced.

Report back because DCUM loves follow ups.

[Anonymous]

My guess is he misses the stuff you used to do for him.

[Anonymous]

^^Agree. He misses you more when he has the kids for the weekend and has to do everything.