Parenting short cuts - things you skip or do the bare minimum on

[Anonymous]

Somewhat inspired by all the "systems" posts lately, but also inspired by a reply I saw a few weeks ago that basically said that we make things too hard.

She gave the example of summer camps - everyone else agonizes and talks to other parents and tried to coordinate and does a ton of research, etc, and she simply goes online, picks a camp, and registers her kids - total time less than one hour.

What are some parenting things - common among other parents you interact with - that you either skip or half a$$ to save time and energy?

[Anonymous]

I'll start -

No toddler music/gymboree classes
Wash sheets monthly
No elf on the shelf

[Anonymous]

We do a lot of toast and cereal. I’ve tried more elaborate breakfasts, but my kids get up too early for school and aren’t hungry enough to eat it all, and it’s always such a waste of time and energy.

[Anonymous]

Organized activities before 2nd grade

[Anonymous]

- I don't buy a bunch of toys. I take hand-me-downs from SIL with a kid of similar age; I take toys from the freebie bin at the local toy store; I get plenty of toys as grandparent gifts (DD is the first grandkid on one side).

- I don't have a fancy stroller. Just the cheapest one I could find that will fold up small enough for travel convenience.

- I didn't do some "system" for potty training. No naked long weekend (that sounds like a fun adult thing, not a potty training method). Daycare teacher told me DD seemed ready and we started introducing the potty incrementally (first pee during daytime, then poop during daytime, then in public, then nighttime, etc).

- I don't teach my kid how to read or talk or whatever in the super-cultivated deliberate DC way. This includes her second language. I just speak the language to her and she picks it up. No immersion school, no academics.

[Anonymous]

Buy pre packaged snacks and snack sized bags of chips for lunches.
Don't fold kid clothes or put them away - let them deal with it.
Cleaning lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll start -

No toddler music/gymboree classes
Wash sheets monthly
No elf on the shelf

+1 to all of these

[Anonymous]

Bath/shower twice a week until they can shower themselves completely; no swimming class until they can change/dress/shower themselves; buy a house that’s a short walk to at least 2 of the 3 schools (elementary, middle, high, this is easier and not cheaper); make neighborhood friends so they can play at each other’s houses without too much supervision;

[Anonymous]

I mean that's a terrible example because the reason summer camp takes longer for me is not because I'm agonizing over camps or polling all my friends, but because camps fill instantly, my DD hated the camp I signed her up for last year, some camps don't go for all the weeks I need them and I have to cobble together, etc. But I guess if you have good availability, not a lot of cost constraints, and get on it early enough, it could take an hour.

As for my own short cuts, my big things are:

- When my kid needs new clothes, I post to my neighborhood list serve, something like "Looking for summer clothes for 6 yr old girl -- size XS or S (4/5 or 5/6). If anyone has a bag of hand-me-downs they'd be willing to part with for $30-50 depending on amount, LMK." I almost always get a hit and then have a bunch of tops and bottoms, and sometimes even jackets and shoes. We also buy clothes but I used to always feel like we never had enough of things and I was having to order things constantly and it drove me nuts. Getting a big bag of correct-size hand-me-downs is so easy and lots of people literally have a bag somewhere in their house right now that they'd love to get rid of and need very little incentive to send your way.

- Find activities that are offered year round and you can just enroll your kid and pay automatically each month. It's so nice. I used to do stuff like 6 week class sessions or whatever but the more of that you do, the more variable your schedule is and you are always having to juggle enrollment deadlines and making sure things get paid. I also personally think kids do better when stuff is just part of their schedule, like school, and they don't have to constantly adjust to new teachers, activities, commutes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do a lot of toast and cereal. I’ve tried more elaborate breakfasts, but my kids get up too early for school and aren’t hungry enough to eat it all, and it’s always such a waste of time and energy.

This, but yogurt. We don't "make" breakfast. Little bowl of yogurt plus either cereal or toast and jam. Sometimes if I'm making lunches anyway I'll toss some cut up fruit on a plate and they'll eat it.

[Anonymous]

I hear about other kids doing "enrichment" stuff, like Kumon or tutors or whatever.

We don't do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll start -

No toddler music/gymboree classes
Wash sheets monthly
No elf on the shelf

+1 to all of these

Same (though sheets are every two weeks). Kids are 5 and 7. No after-school activities yet. Rarely do playdates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean that's a terrible example because the reason summer camp takes longer for me is not because I'm agonizing over camps or polling all my friends, but because camps fill instantly, my DD hated the camp I signed her up for last year, some camps don't go for all the weeks I need them and I have to cobble together, etc. But I guess if you have good availability, not a lot of cost constraints, and get on it early enough, it could take an hour.

As for my own short cuts, my big things are:

- When my kid needs new clothes, I post to my neighborhood list serve, something like "Looking for summer clothes for 6 yr old girl -- size XS or S (4/5 or 5/6). If anyone has a bag of hand-me-downs they'd be willing to part with for $30-50 depending on amount, LMK." I almost always get a hit and then have a bunch of tops and bottoms, and sometimes even jackets and shoes. We also buy clothes but I used to always feel like we never had enough of things and I was having to order things constantly and it drove me nuts. Getting a big bag of correct-size hand-me-downs is so easy and lots of people literally have a bag somewhere in their house right now that they'd love to get rid of and need very little incentive to send your way.

- Find activities that are offered year round and you can just enroll your kid and pay automatically each month. It's so nice. I used to do stuff like 6 week class sessions or whatever but the more of that you do, the more variable your schedule is and you are always having to juggle enrollment deadlines and making sure things get paid. I also personally think kids do better when stuff is just part of their schedule, like school, and they don't have to constantly adjust to new teachers, activities, commutes, etc.

Agreed..the camp advice only works for a very young laid back kid. Nothing worse then spending your summer convincing a reluctant kid to go to a camp they hate.

[Anonymous]

Kids change their clothes before bed - into their next day's clothes - and just roll out of bed in the morning, dressed. I think this is sort of weird and gross, but....it works and they don't care, so I let it go.

Kids handle their HW or we don't do it, and they live with the consequences. I do not have it in me to micromanage this.

Kids pack themselves for school/camp/sports. If they forget something, they learn to not forget it next time.

I do laundry once a week, and we all sit and fold it together - each folds his/her own.

Kids each have 7 shirts, 7 pants, 7 underwear, etc. This leads to less mess.

Before bed, the house is picked up, shower taken, teeth brushed, bags packed, if they want to watch their nightly show.

Youngest doesn't do any activities yet because I learned from the other two that it doesn't matter when they are really little - other than swim classes. Those matter (to me).

I will not sign them up for anything that is not within about a 10-15 minute drive from my house. This is possible where we live, and it saves so much time and energy and running around.

Kids are 9, 7 and 4. 4 year old doesn't pack his stuff yet, but he's working on it.

[Anonymous]

Oh I forgot I barely brush my 2yo's teeth. She rarely eats anything sugary other than fruit, doesn't drink milk right before bed and her breath doesn't smell bad.