Does your MIL drive you crazy?
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Anonymous
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Mine is always commenting on my fashion choices. I hate it. |
Anonymous
Yes. Worst was "I wish I had your healthy appetite." She eats like a bird. |
Anonymous
| Nope she is the best. |
Anonymous
| The one time she really drove me crazy was the year we asked both sets of grandparents to get only one thing for each of our kids for Christmas. We were busting at the seams at our house and wanted to keep the influx down. So she finds the biggest Christmas gift bag she can find for each of the kids, and literally fills it to the brim with crap. Then says “we’ll technically it’s just one present!” I could have smacked her. |
Anonymous
| Mine used to until I started joking at whatever she said instead of letting it get to me. Once she saw that she wasn’t getting a rise out of her remarks she toned it down. She still can’t control herself sometimes but it’s less fun for her. |
Anonymous
| And the nominees for the most original post of the day are . . . not you. |
Anonymous
| I love mine and we get along great but nonetheless, yes, sometimes. |
Anonymous
| I get along very well with mine, but given the comments she and my FIL makes about my SILs in my presence, I try my best not to think about what she says about me when I'm not around. |
Anonymous
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She used to. It was really bad when I was pregnant and for the first year after I had a kid. I think she was really jealous. I know how that sounds but it's just very clearly what it was. I think seeing me pregnant and with a newborn just made her feel really sad that she'd never do that again, and reminded her of the passage of time, and also I had a girl and she only had boys and this was a HUGE thing for her. But she really took it out on me, just constant comments on how I looked, what I was doing, what I was eating. Not just criticism but also things like openly coveting my stuff. Like every time she saw my diaper bag (which wasn't even fancy or anything, just a SkipHop backpack I got on discount from Amazon for like $40) she's say "Oh all your baby stuff is so fancy, I never had anything that fancy when I had my kids." If it was an isolated incident I'd just feel bad for her, but it was pretty much constant and eventually I just could not take it anymore. Around my DD's first birthday, I took my MIL aside and told her that her comments were hurtful and felt unsupportive and made me not want to be around her as much. I told her I'd had PPD and that there were issues with my own family (my mom is clinical depression and had become suicidal around the time my baby was born) and to also have to deal with these comments and behaviors from her just felt like piling on.
She cried and didn't really respond but after that she stopped, and now we have a perfectly pleasant relationship. I wouldn't always recommend confronting someone over this kind of behavior, but in my case I felt like I had to (or I was just going to refuse to see my ILs anymore because I just did not want to deal with it anymore) and it paid off. We're not best friends and never will be, and she still does stuff that annoys me sometimes, but she's no longer antagonizing me every time I see her and that's good enough for me. There's a huge difference between "this person has qualities I find annoying" and "this person is pushing all my buttons, seemingly on purpose." The former is normal IL stuff. The latter is not acceptable. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes. But I love her so much. I’m sure I drive her crazy sometimes as well. |
Anonymous
| Mine did early on in my marriage. Then my husband and I got on the same page for dealing with our extended families and no complaints since. |
Anonymous
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Yes. My MIL used to be enmeshed with DH and is still co-dependent. She complains that we don’t see her enough and don’t travel to her home more. She is needy. We bought her a Christmas gift and she asked us to return it. Then we got her another gift, and she always wanted that one returned. Then she sent us a link to what she wanted. I consider this a DH issue and don’t involve myself.
She wants to come live with us - all so she can see DH every day. I think she resents me and sees me as the woman who took her son away. She does passive-aggressive things that just don’t build relationships with new family members. She has been negative about our relationship from the start and questions things we do - buying a dog, buying a house, getting married. I just ignore her and things work well for me. I think DH wishes I had more of a relationship with her. I try some, but don’t feel it at all. |
Anonymous
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My MIL is great. My M not so much. My mother recently told me I need to get up and exercise more (I walk >3 miles a day and do yoga)
She also told me I need to change my eating habits b/c I ate an apple & peanutbutter 3 days in a row (this was rich from the woman who eats yogurt every day. And oatmeal with blueberries every morning.) She also likes to give me a backhanded complement by using words like "lucious," "rubaneque," "robust," and "sturday" to describe me. Also not so backhanded: "chubby." I'm a fine size 6. |
Anonymous
| Mine used to but now she has dementia. |
Anonymous
| If you have MIL issues, get your spouse on board now. You should not have to resolve those yourself. |