Recommend therapist or practice for self harm

[Anonymous]

Looking for expertise with cutting. We are located in NW DC. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Go to psychologytoday.com

Enter your insurance, your zip code, your issues (tween or teen, self harm)

Many profiles pop up. Disregard those not taking new patients (there will be many)

Read the remaining profiles. Have your tween pick 3-4 and call and/or email them

It's tough to find a therapist available right now, let alone one that fits your teens needs, their schedule, and clicks with them - and that takes your insurance!

Good luck

[Anonymous]

It may be helpful to make sure the therapist also has DBT training as well. (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). Helps a lot with the extreme emotional regulation issues associated with cutting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for expertise with cutting. We are located in NW DC. Thanks.

You might want to cross post to the special needs forum. I believe there are a few threads from folks who have experience so they may be able to provide information about good providers.

[Anonymous]

Dr Ashwhipe in Bethesda is very good.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd look for a practice that offers DBT -- dialectical behavioral therapy.

Cutting is very distressing to us as parents but it's an expression generally of a need to control the body when emotions are out of control.

https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/dbt-effective-teens-self-harm/

https://www.counselingcenterofmaryland.com/dbt/

https://rathboneandassociates.com/services/dbt/

[Anonymous]

Yes to DBT with an intensively trained therapist.

[Anonymous]

Potomac Behavioral Solutions works with adolescents who are self-harming & follow DBT.

[Anonymous]

Here is how to understand cutting: the cutting is not the underlying problem. It is relief from the underlying problem. Focusing the mind and attention on physical pain provides momentary distraction and relief from intense, overwhelming and unrelenting psychic pain that is ongoing. Focus on addressing the underlying pain, the physical self-harm is the smaller problem compared to people who cannot stop their own lacerating thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is how to understand cutting: the cutting is not the underlying problem. It is relief from the underlying problem. Focusing the mind and attention on physical pain provides momentary distraction and relief from intense, overwhelming and unrelenting psychic pain that is ongoing. Focus on addressing the underlying pain, the physical self-harm is the smaller problem compared to people who cannot stop their own lacerating thoughts.

PS I’m a physician and every single patient I’ve had who does this endorses this perspective on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how to understand cutting: the cutting is not the underlying problem. It is relief from the underlying problem. Focusing the mind and attention on physical pain provides momentary distraction and relief from intense, overwhelming and unrelenting psychic pain that is ongoing. Focus on addressing the underlying pain, the physical self-harm is the smaller problem compared to people who cannot stop their own lacerating thoughts.

PS I’m a physician and every single patient I’ve had who does this endorses this perspective on it.

Agree. Another thing to keep in mind, as our DD's therapist once told us: while cutting/self-harm is an awful thing and can be real scary looking, when it comes to potential long term physical harm there are much worse things that adolescent girls (typically girls) can do. Eating disorders, drug abuse, etc. So, please, don't overreact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how to understand cutting: the cutting is not the underlying problem. It is relief from the underlying problem. Focusing the mind and attention on physical pain provides momentary distraction and relief from intense, overwhelming and unrelenting psychic pain that is ongoing. Focus on addressing the underlying pain, the physical self-harm is the smaller problem compared to people who cannot stop their own lacerating thoughts.

PS I’m a physician and every single patient I’ve had who does this endorses this perspective on it.

Agree. Another thing to keep in mind, as our DD's therapist once told us: while cutting/self-harm is an awful thing and can be real scary looking, when it comes to potential long term physical harm there are much worse things that adolescent girls (typically girls) can do. Eating disorders, drug abuse, etc. So, please, don't overreact.

Well she should be encouraged to be more appreciative of and a better custodian of her perfectly beautiful, healthy body, and not harm or desecrate it by cutting it. She can love her body enough not to hurt it, even if she doesn’t love her self. Encourage her to see it as something she has been entrusted to care for (which is true).

The mental anguish though is less visible and needs to be addressed. IME this is almost always caused by some kind of deficit in early love, even if unintentional, and is cured through love. But it is very very hard to find the right corrective experiences. Outpatient therapy as a model in general is not set up well—it is better tailored to the doctor than the patient— it is like trying to wash your hands in a dripping faucet. It’s more helpful if there is some real relationship that helps her feel more loved and worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how to understand cutting: the cutting is not the underlying problem. It is relief from the underlying problem. Focusing the mind and attention on physical pain provides momentary distraction and relief from intense, overwhelming and unrelenting psychic pain that is ongoing. Focus on addressing the underlying pain, the physical self-harm is the smaller problem compared to people who cannot stop their own lacerating thoughts.

PS I’m a physician and every single patient I’ve had who does this endorses this perspective on it.

Agree. Another thing to keep in mind, as our DD's therapist once told us: while cutting/self-harm is an awful thing and can be real scary looking, when it comes to potential long term physical harm there are much worse things that adolescent girls (typically girls) can do. Eating disorders, drug abuse, etc. So, please, don't overreact.

Well she should be encouraged to be more appreciative of and a better custodian of her perfectly beautiful, healthy body, and not harm or desecrate it by cutting it. She can love her body enough not to hurt it, even if she doesn’t love her self. Encourage her to see it as something she has been entrusted to care for (which is true).

The mental anguish though is less visible and needs to be addressed. IME this is almost always caused by some kind of deficit in early love, even if unintentional, and is cured through love. But it is very very hard to find the right corrective experiences. Outpatient therapy as a model in general is not set up well—it is better tailored to the doctor than the patient— it is like trying to wash your hands in a dripping faucet. It’s more helpful if there is some real relationship that helps her feel more loved and worthwhile.

This is so completely wrong on so many levels. OP, this is not your fault! Please come on over to the special needs forum for advice from many parents who have BTDT. And huge hugs to you -- this is a tough issue, but you and your DC will get through it.

[Anonymous]

Where does this say anywhere it is her fault?!? People have love deficits for all kinds of reasons ranging from parental death to disability to alcoholism to simply feeling misunderstood—it is not an indictment of OP’s parenting, when she is clearly trying to do the best for her DD.

[Anonymous]

Can someone recommend a good book about self harm?