Post breakup contact

[Anonymous]

How do you know when to risk making a fool of yourself after being no contact after a breakup? I want to talk to him but am assuming he has moved on.

[Anonymous]

Who broke it off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who broke it off?

Let’s say him. He started the process, which devastated me, but I took the high road and empathized and wished him well. He replied with how strongly he feels about me and how hard it is, that he is trying to live with less conflict but so often fails; I felt enraged at the mixed signals (pushing me away but leaving a toe in the door) but instead of telling him this I ghosted him. I didn’t intend to ghost him. I could not find the composure and clarity to reply and emotionally I felt like I was being drawn and quartered, pulled in opposite directions. It was months ago now and there has been no contact. I don’t want to change his mind. I just feel like there is much to talk about, that only he would understand, but I’m aware that he is no longer that person for me.

[Anonymous]

That chapter is over. Don't contact him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That chapter is over. Don't contact him.

Thanks. I know I guess. I fight it so often. It is like an addiction. It never goes away and is a Sisyphean task.

[Anonymous]

Anxious-Avoidant couple

Wasn’t meant to be sweetie, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anxious-Avoidant couple

Wasn’t meant to be sweetie, sorry.

He wasn’t before. He was ALWAYS responsive and communicative and I could say anything to him. He used to complain and call me a firefly if I flickered off and on. Then he shut down for like three weeks, during which I was initially solicitous and then gave him space (which as far as I am concerned, space is the beginning of the end), and came back with this.

[Anonymous]

Make an effort not to think about a guy who was fine with not seeing you for 3 weeks.
He's just not that into you and that's fine. Be happy that it happened sooner than later. Next!

[Anonymous]

It will end in more heartache. As hard as it is now to not be able to talk to him, you will ultimately return to the “drawn and quartered stage” if you reach out (and you would also lose your pride). I understand that you want relief from this tension and pain you feel right now but he ended the relationship; there is no ambiguity in that. Talking to him ultimately be very painful, I assure you. It takes time to get over a breakup, that’s normal. Give yourself the time to move through the pain and heal, that’s the only way.

[Anonymous]

Thanks people. We have been together for 13 years. I don’t know how to do this alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks people. We have been together for 13 years. I don’t know how to do this alone.

And not married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks people. We have been together for 13 years. I don’t know how to do this alone.

And not married?

Not married. I have a child from a prior marriage.

[Anonymous]

He’s got someone else to sleep with. Sorry to be harsh, but it’s most likely the truth.

[Anonymous]

If it ended after 13 years, regardless of reason, just let him go. Move on and stop wondering if he’ll reach out. Focus on yourself and finding happiness within. You don’t need him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it ended after 13 years, regardless of reason, just let him go. Move on and stop wondering if he’ll reach out. Focus on yourself and finding happiness within. You don’t need him.

I am in so much pain. I am still crying and it’s five months later.