Apartners- Would you do it?

[Anonymous]

Recently stumbled on this concept of Apartners where married people live separately, have different houses and raise kids in separate houses too. Most of them had previous relationships, divorced had kids, remarried and did not want to uproot their kids lives, so felt like this was a great option. Some don’t have kids but enjoyed having their own space, some live 5 minutes apart , others 7h. Im thinking this might potentially work for me as Im divorced and have a 12year old! Am I crazy? Would anyone consider this or have lived in this type of arrangement? Thoughts? Did it work? Why or why not?

https://diywoman.net/apartners-living-apart-strengthens-relationships/

[Anonymous]

Montreal filmmaker Sharon Hyman has lived just down the road from the love of her life, David, for the past 20 years.

The arrangement means Hyman, an extrovert, doesn't keep David, an introvert, awake late at night, and he doesn't wake her early in the morning as he heads to work.

https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/sunday/audio/2018731315/apartners-living-happily-ever-apart

[Anonymous]

My partner and I have this arrangement but we don't need to get married. I don't think it's that big of a deal or anything revolutionary esp for divorced people with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Montreal filmmaker Sharon Hyman has lived just down the road from the love of her life, David, for the past 20 years.

The arrangement means Hyman, an extrovert, doesn't keep David, an introvert, awake late at night, and he doesn't wake her early in the morning as he heads to work.

https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/sunday/audio/2018731315/apartners-living-happily-ever-apart

That's a pretty extreme way to do what many couples do on a regular basis within the same house!

[Anonymous]

https://www.glamour.com/story/living-apart-together-couples/amp

When Newman and her husband had kids, their boys grew up living primarily at her house; John would stay over until they were in bed, head home, and then come back in the morning to make breakfast. “Proximity and support are not the same thing to me. I would not have been able to have the father that my children adore in their life this way if we had lived together, because I would have killed him,” she says, laughing.

[Anonymous]

I have always wanted to live next door to my husband.

[Anonymous]

Yes, yes, yes. My dad told me about a neighbor we had when I was little. They were married for 20+ years and lived apart. It sounds so good to me right now.

I have my eye on a local house. If I can swing it, when it goes on the market I'm buying it and moving there. DH welcome, but not required.

[Anonymous]

We live in separate wings of the house. Separate bedrooms, bathroom, living room and small kitchen. Their is a main kitchen where the whole family has dinner. But DH eats breakfast and lunch in his kitchen. I eat in the main kitchen with the kids. Their bedrooms are in my wing. It's been like this ever since they were toddlers so they don't think it's weird but I do!

[Anonymous]

I know a couple like this. He has kids from a previous marriage. They sleep together at one or the other house most of the time. They’ve been together 40+ years.

If I had the funds I wouldn’t mind it at all. More space, more freedom, probably good for the relationship if you are strongly committed.

[Anonymous]

This has happened since time immemorial, OP, when someone told their partner to build their own damn mud hut.

Two of my aunts have such an arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Currently in a relationships like this and it seems to work. Both divorced with kids and don’t want to blend. I’m not sure that it’s more sustainable long term than being married etc. But daughter hates me so likely only way it can ‘work’.

[Anonymous]

I am also in a relationship like this. I was married for almost 20 years and my kids are in college. My boyfriend lives about five minutes away and still has school age kids. We talk every day, see each other almost every day and spend the night together 3-5 nights a week, mostly at his place since his kids are still there. I LOVE this arrangement. I am able to have my own space but still share a life with an amazing person. I'm not sure what the future holds, maybe when his kids are grown we'll cohabitate. But I'm in no hurry and would be fine just continuing like we have been. We've been together almost four years.

[Anonymous]

Confused about how this arrangement allows for the couples’ sex life? Do they simply not have sex / are asexual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in separate wings of the house. Separate bedrooms, bathroom, living room and small kitchen. Their is a main kitchen where the whole family has dinner. But DH eats breakfast and lunch in his kitchen. I eat in the main kitchen with the kids. Their bedrooms are in my wing. It's been like this ever since they were toddlers so they don't think it's weird but I do!

We do something similar, different floors instead of wings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Confused about how this arrangement allows for the couples’ sex life? Do they simply not have sex / are asexual?

PP here. Yes we do. Why is that impossible?